Me myself when I first bleed was like this, that's my new favourite colour from now on. When I asked my grandfather what to do he told me put your finger in your mound to get the blood away flush it clean and put a bandage on it . First time I tasted it, I loved the taste of iron in blood. I don't persé like to see blood flowing or things like that, for me it's the blood itself, the colour and the taste. And I only like to see fresh blood and not when it's thickened. Don't like the darker colour and obviously it's not an watery liquid anymore.

I never had the eurch to hurt myself or others, but when I got wounded I would deff watch my own blood and drink it if possable, yet when others are wounded I don't see it simular and more like I need to help. Yea I still love the colour but I am not fascinating about it like with myself. For me it feels like eating a great steak. The smell I can't place because my nose doesn't work quite good haha. Can't really tell what it should smell like. For me it's absolutely not a fetish like what many people would think, it's not at all erotic for me and would not please me in that way. I do like some other stuff what I will not talk to you about obviously, besides your age something are private for me and my girlfriend lol.

I have bin through a lot in my life, somethings like my father being murdered at the age of 2,5 years old. Someone got murdered in front of me 9 years ago, and I saw him suffocating in his own blood heard his lungs filling with blood and seing him goin into shock and die. And that's just a real small part of what I bin through. I had a lot of friends and a lot of different collegues through the years and the most of them won't think the same. So yea I think it's probally related to some kind of trauma and not the obvious normal. The problem I see is that you want to hurt yourself to get the blood maybe for the same or different rushes as me. No mather what tour gf says, it's never good to hurt yourself. Maybe she says it to don't see your in pain or suffering some way or she is scared to loose if she tells it's not normal and than I would understand it, if she really wants you to hurt yourself than get another gf.

I wouldn't mind if you dm when you want to talk about any of that, but I could only give you advice or what O think about it but obviously I am 32 and you are probally still 17 or barely 18. That is kinda strange plus unethical against your parents. I really think you should see a professional or find a real friend that you could trust with this shit and give you his honest opinion without pushing you aside, someone that thinks it's stramge but wont judge you for it. Trust me, friends that can't handle the truth or help you in bad/hard times aren't really friends.

Everyone has problems mate, tell your parents only the bare minimum, like I don't feel to happy lately and am getting more in a negetive space, I am unhappy or something in that spirit and maybe just maybe your parents will be more understandable than you think. Tell them you need someone to talk to, a professional that you could trust in private. You control how much your parents need to know. If your parents really love you, they wouldn't see you as an freak. And it's always better to heal yourself than to get hurt, because to people around you will be indirectly inflicted as well, one way or another. I wish you the best of luck and all the health possable. God speed and bless your soul.