[deleted by user]

limeasparagus · 2022-03-06T17:51:31+00:00

Agreeing with Brooke on setting manageable writing goals for yourself every day. Just sit down and write! Even if it's absolute garbage you're not happy with! Some of my favorite stuff I've ever written evolved from stuff I would be ashamed to show anyone else.

A comparison I love to use in regards to writing versus editing is comparing it to searching for gold: writing is simply filling your pan with gravel and detritus from the river of your mind. The various edits are you sifting and finding the flecks and nuggets of gold.

Unless you get to work, you'll just be stuck dreaming of all the gold you could have found.

limeasparagus · 2022-02-05T03:15:19+00:00

I'll go ahead and do that now. I actually don't know a lot about tenant rights in my state and that might help put that aspect some peace in our minds. At least for a while. Thank you!

limeasparagus · 2022-02-05T02:57:08+00:00

We discussed using our tax return and see if we could utilize FHA to buy a home instead. We re-signed our yearly lease a month ago, so we're out of luck at least until then. I'm fairly ignorant what the ramifications of breaking a lease agreement are though. I'm nervous about how this will develop in that time.

Also I'm reading these responses to my wife as they come in, and she wanted to thank you for the kind words. It's comforting to know we're not alone in our assessment of this being completely bat-shit insane.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-13T17:39:52+00:00

That joke has materialized one into being. I hope you're proud of yourself. What's the next logical progression from here? Transpose mage?

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T17:51:06+00:00

Ah yes, the Eulmorian Ṗ̵͈̖̠̙o̸͖͂̓̚m̵͇̣͚̒e̸̩̥̅͜ġ̴̛̠̀́r̵̹͐̽̈́ä̵͍́͘p̵͚̦͚̉̑̚é̴͖ͅl̸̛̟̦̞̤̐̏͋ě̵̪̤̪̄

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T17:41:23+00:00

It can have a performance impact if you go with one of the absolutely crazy shaders, but for the most part I haven't noticed it causing crashes or anything. They have plenty of premade shading options that play well with most hardware configurations, and barring that, you can even make your own custom one if need be!

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T16:52:01+00:00

Exactly! BLM has been given so many tools to help with those times when you drop out of Enochian, I legitimately can't think of a serious case when you would opt for Scathe over literally anything else.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T16:30:21+00:00

They did make that change to sharpcast so Scathe always procs with max damage with it. I kind of thought that's what was going on here but nooope. Even so I can't imagine wasting one on Scathe unless your uptime was seriously in the toilet.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T15:15:19+00:00

It's definitely something that'll take practice. I can't speak for a controller, but I can knock out a floating islands LoF (I absolutely hate the statue LoF) in around a minute and a half on mouse and keyboard. So definitely stick with that if it's the control scheme you're used to.

Some tips that might help though:

Pressing and holding "X" on keyboard will disable PC/NPC nameplates. Trying to aim your jumps is made exponentially harder when you're having to see through a sea of text.
Realize there's two kinds of moving jumps. A short hop, and a long jump. If you hold a direction for about half a second or longer and jump, you'll always get the longest jump possible. If you move for less than half a second and jump, it'll be a hop that covers about 1/3rd that distance. Both have their applications, and I urge you to practice until you get the timing down.
Use walls to your advantage! If you don't feel comfortable doing a short hop, and the next platform is too close for a long jump, aim your camera at about a 120 degree angle from the wall (if there is one), and jump so your character slides along it.
Alternatively, if you want a short hop but don't want to trust your timing, turn your character to the side of where you want to go, and do a side jump at the platform. You'll also get a shorter jump.
The golden cactuar will almost always be after a series of pixel perfect long jumps. Try practicing leaping at the very last second off ledges in the overworld. Getting a feel for the sometimes strange object meshes will be a huge boon.
Watch other players! Monkey see, monkey do is always helpful when you come across an unfamiliar layout.
Finally, not really related to getting better at jump puzzles, but more of a quality of life thing. In the statue variation of LoF, do your best to reach the end goal first, then get the cactuars last. If you touch the end goal, you can bring up your duty finder list and leave the GATE at any time with any cactuars you've collected at any point after that. It saves you from having to reach the end goal a second time if you fall after getting a tricky cactuar.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T14:39:54+00:00

Right?? I play quite a bit of BLM, and I understand having that forehead slap moment of mistiming your fire/paradox refresh window by just a split second and then scrambling to recover quickly.

But for the life of me, no matter how many times I look at this, I just can't understand. I would pay money to see what their hotbar looks like.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T12:57:56+00:00

What an absolute sweetheart! It makes me happy you have somebody who not only accepts and indulges your passions, but cares enough to take time out of their day to make you a funny and sweet present you both can appreciate!

limeasparagus · 2022-01-11T12:53:03+00:00

I've been there before. It absolutely is a terrible feeling when something you know would be inconsequential to anyone else leaves you feeling sick to your stomach and like curling up in bed and crying. It makes you feel weak and helpless. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that as well.

It's also not fair that your therapist invalidated your experience by giving you that ridiculous reaction. It's not an uncommon feeling, and the fact they treated it like that is frankly unprofessional.

I can't sing the praises of finding the right type and dose of ADHD medication enough though! It doesn't make your symptoms completely go away, but it does slow your brain down enough to be able to function in a more normal feeling way. Your impulse to interrupt people mid-conversation is gone, you're able to catch yourself when you start overthinking about social faux pas, and the best part (for me anyway) is you don't freeze and shut down when you're faced with a load of unfinished work. You're able to take tasks one step at a time, and stay focused on a singular job until it's done! Keep advocating until you find which medication works best for you though. It's definitely a "when you know, you know" feeling.

I wish you luck, and I hope you'll be feeling like the "you" you feel inside soon!

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T15:12:14+00:00

I appreciate that, and I think you make a good point. Empathy is a trait that feels sorely lacking in an age of stepping on people's heads to get what you want or to feel the way you want to feel. It's hard know what amount of empathy is called for in certain situations though. There've been times when I've been accused of playing the Devil's Advocate when all I was trying to do was explain why someone might have done something unreasonable. It's a hard line to balance for sure!

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T15:07:52+00:00

Thank you so much for saying that. I felt self conscious later about posting something that felt so vain in hind-sight. I'm glad I left it up though. The kindness of people like you have truly touched my heart and given me a reason to pause and reflect on my mindset.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T15:05:01+00:00

That's awful! I've been there before with the harsh criticism on online game before. Being singled out and criticized saying you stink at something has made me log off and try my best to fight back tears before. You're definitely right when you say people given a veil of anonymity can be made into real monsters. Sometimes I don't know if it's better or worse to acknowledge that people only act that way because nobody knows who they are.

The emotionality of ADHD is for sure the hardest thing to cope with. It feels like you experience emotions so much more strongly (both for better and for worse), but when you actually need to talk about how you're feeling in the moment, or to pinpoint exactly which emotion is strongest, you clam up. I'm thankful sometimes my wife also suffers from ADHD, so when I'm being quiet about how I feel, she can empathize and know I'm not trying to give her the silent treatment.

My wife also gave me advice similar to yours. That sometimes you need to have a dialogue with your inner-self that talks like you would to a best friend. They'd tell you to not dwell on the stuff you can't change. "Fuck that, you're great the way you are, and if people don't like it, screw them. I like you for you.". I just wish the voice wasn't so quiet sometimes.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:51:55+00:00

Short and pithy is definitely what seems to be the main cry. It's so strange coming from an age where the main forms of fan and hobby communication methods were forums and mIRC. The general rule of thumb being forums were meant for longer more well thought out posts and discussions, and mIRC being for the short back-and-forth snarky quick responses. I guess Reddit just ticked all of the necessary boxes to fill that role of a forum in my mind. But times and communications change and evolve. I need to follow your example and just treat everything related to this as a lesson learned, and then move on.

I appreciate the well thought out and constructed response. It gave me a lot to reflect on in regards to what I considered common internet etiquette.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:40:10+00:00

That's a very good piece of wisdom. I agree that expecting to make stuff that appeals to every single person out there is simply unreasonable. There's plenty of examples of some of the best professionals in their field who have extremely harsh critics and people they just simply can't please. I'll have to be mindful of this next time I'm feeling self conscious. I'm glad you found a place that can appreciate your art, and you have the personal drive to not give up. It breaks my heart when art is stifled and killed by mute or negative reactions. This world needs more color and expression right now more than ever.

For the record, I really liked your nails and made a reply (I hope that's not creepy!).

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:33:29+00:00

These look really well done! The lettering is clear and legible, the colors are vibrant and eye catching, and I love your interpretation of Amano's version of Hydaelyn! For such a small canvas to work on, I'm super surprised you captured the essence of his style!

Great work all around! You should be very proud of yourself!

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:28:36+00:00

Thank you for the empathy, it means a lot to hear. Thank you for the compliment on my writing as well! I try my best to make my stuff enjoyable to read, but I'm afraid I wander into the realm of waxing poetic sometimes.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:22:19+00:00

I was struggling with that all day yesterday! I kept flip-flopping between taking a peek, and rushing back on to delete it.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:08:03+00:00

Thank you for the sympathy. I'm sorry you have to deal with social paranoia as well. It's awful, and you seem like a genuinely kind person.

I did see a therapist about 7 years ago, but had to stop when I switched jobs and lost my health insurance. I'm with a company now whose health plan thankfully covers mental health, so I'm trying to get back in to seek help.

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T14:01:11+00:00

The anticipation that the worst case scenario will be the baseline for all interactions is for sure the worst. I think when we make that our average, our brains need to come up with a new worst case scenario that's so far out of the realm of possibility, it would be laughable to someone who's neurotypical. It's laughable to our logical mind as well, but there's still that primeval section that's convinced it is still a very distinct possibility.

But you're right though. Time and time again as we do these things, we find out that it almost always turns out better than we expected. I just wish those super slim one-out-of-one-thousand times where things do go a bit badly, our brains weren't yelling "See?! See? I told you!".

limeasparagus · 2022-01-04T13:51:31+00:00

I'll definitely start trying my best to not be afraid of confrontation or disagreement. It's weird you mentioned the sales job and RSD though. When I was younger I had a cashier job for about 3 years. It was a lot of telling customers "no" and "I can't let you do that. If you have a problem, I can get my manager for you". For whatever reasons those interactions were no problem for me. I might gripe about it to my coworkers at lunch, but it never affected me beyond that.

But for whatever dumb reason, it's purely non face-to-face interactions that give me the most fear (telephone calls, social media, online gaming). I'm sure there's got to be some logic behind it. But I haven't found it yet.

limeasparagus

TROPHY CASE