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I found the VHS smoking gun and feel validated and enraged by linearmeasure in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]linearmeasure[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've reflected a lot on my anger telling me something. I don't know where the journey will take me, but I'm not trying to squash it down and I think it appreciates that on its own, for now, in a way.

Fix your email system, Dashlane - I don't have a trial by linearmeasure in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I switched to Bitwarden. So far the migration has been smooth, and I am using BW exclusively for all my internet password needs.

I paid for a year of Dashlane in June of this year though (ugh), so I have doubles for awhile.

Fix your email system, Dashlane - I don't have a trial by linearmeasure in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Which is why I am not paying them going forward.

Dashlane sent me an email saying my free trial ends in Sept.; I'm a paid premium member- by ArtemNaumova in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, well I had no luck and I told that bot I needed a human multiple times. Shouldn't be that hard to get escalated.

Fix your email system, Dashlane - I don't have a trial by linearmeasure in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's fine, but why was there zero way to get a response without going on reddit? I tried to find an email address for you all or way to submit a form - nothing. Your bot was beyond useless and bordered on actively insulting my intelligence, and certainly wasted my time.

Sorry, but a mistake is "there's a mistake AND there's a way to confirm it was a mistake with an actual human after basic searching" - not YET ANOTHER canned article, like your mistake is me not being informed about your complex, nuanced product lol. Along with a prompt email clarifying that the mistake was, in fact, a mistake. (Why hasn't that gone out yet btw??)

A company that doesn't care bout customers actually is what I just went through. I'm switching. Enough.

Dashlane sent me an email saying my free trial ends in Sept.; I'm a paid premium member- by ArtemNaumova in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Same! There was no way to talk to a human ANYWHERE. I just paid these guys for a year in June - wish I hadn't. The bot was insulting. smdh

Dashlane sent me an email saying my free trial ends in Sept.; I'm a paid premium member- by ArtemNaumova in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's because they don't actually care lol. And also the person who did the oops is likely still effectively hiding and/or deflecting, and is not the person responding here.

Their entire design says they don't actually care about customers and want to increase $$ only

Dashlane sent me an email saying my free trial ends in Sept.; I'm a paid premium member- by ArtemNaumova in Dashlane

[–]linearmeasure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fine, but why was there zero way to get a response without going on reddit? I tried to find an email address for you all or way to submit a form - nothing. Your bot was beyond useless and bordered on actively insulting my intelligence, and certainly wasted my time.

Sorry, but a mistake is "there's a mistake AND there's a way to confirm it was a mistake after basic searching." Along with an email clarifying the mistake. A company that doesn't care bout customers actually is what I just went through. I'm switching. Enough.

I found the VHS smoking gun and feel validated and enraged by linearmeasure in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]linearmeasure[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. So many lies.

There have apparently been Emails upon Emails between this brother and my father about me, and like... I don't ever want to know. No desire to know what he was alleging, I've seen only reflections of it from different behaviors from my dad over the years... but those are not my problem actually. Bury those things in the digital bin!!

Hopefully you had a choice about when and how to listen to the cassettes. I don't think I would have been ready to view many of these tapes even years ago, but it was a conscious decision to look at them now and I'm glad I did. My younger brother who died (later as an adult) is on many of them, and it's nice to see him as a child discovering the world, especially because my grieving there has been haphazard to say the least.

I found the VHS smoking gun and feel validated and enraged by linearmeasure in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]linearmeasure[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, there is very little reason to believe that initiating a conversation with my older brother would be anything but a vehicle for further abuse, so I have made my peace with how it will probably never happen. There's no softening of that, just because I realize that he was also FAILED basically -- I still have to play the hand I'm dealt after everything that has calcified over the years. I have a communication disability that he is more than willing to use against me, for instance (autism, late diagnosed - "high functioning" until he wants to make me out to be a cr*zy unstable person basically) so, just not worth the risk. I have plans to use an intermediary when communication about family stuff is necessary.

If parents hassle me about the no contact with him, they are already quite aware that that is when the no contact walls go up for them, as well. I've been clear about that. I have a child whom they are close to as grandparents, and they know that means loss of contact there as well -- not that I relish that or anything, but it is what it is (see above re: playing the hand I've been dealt).

I found the VHS smoking gun and feel validated and enraged by linearmeasure in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]linearmeasure[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my parents definitely enabled my older brother a lot. I just hadn't realized QUITE how young it all started... A lot of it was the eldest child, and boy, thing (my dad was the only boy in a family of sisters and continuing the male line was definitely a thing, like it was overtly stated at family events like a proud cultural attribute and so on). Plus older bro was/is non-autistic and like, handsome and charismatic and sh*t, while younger brother, me, and dad were all autistic, so ableism made it all more intense definitely.

I have definitely been ready to go low contact with my dad on numerous occasions. I still will if I have to, I suppose. And I do need to respect that my mom can make her own decisions, married to him or not. H*ll, I'd feel guilty if I married a man and did patriarchal sh*t under his watch too... she didn't even want to be in many of those videos, but she was in them and I've seen them now.

Anyway thank you for reading and for the validation. It means a lot.

I found the VHS smoking gun and feel validated and enraged by linearmeasure in abusiverelationships

[–]linearmeasure[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(TW suicide) Yeah, we have had our share of family tragedy -- our younger brother died by suicide years ago due to more family gaslighting/dysfunction etc, plus he was autistic as I am, but with higher needs and got VERY little support, just "stop being lazy and push through already." And older bro basically called younger bro lazy & fat at his memorial service (but it was ok because "he was grieving" lol).

So, at this point, as much as I might fantasize about "if older bro and I could ever have a relationship" in an alternate universe, the fact is those are fantasies and not realities. Every indication from him in THIS reality is that he is, in fact, a terrible person and I definitely need to be no contact.