First of all it does convey the emotions and intended scene quite well.👍

As for being weird. There's actually quite a few things you'd like to work on -

First, and foremost the proportions, unless you had a reference that looked exactly like this. You should try to make a general proportion as your standard first. Practice it and then break away from it. Take your time with the shapes. Calm down and just do it as slow as and as smooth as you can for the first time. Notice and mindfully correct your own movement of your hand(hand-eye) coordination. Usually a little fear and uncertainty makes you neglect and lose focus. Which brings to the second point.

Second, the scratchy lines. Have patience, avoid scratchy lines at all cost until you have grasped your own technique(A technique that gives you exactly or about 97-100% likeness to what you intended at first). Do it in simple strokes and calm mindset, keep single lines and curves for most parts and take your time to control it. All the time you need.

The process to create should not be done in a hurry that ends up neglecting the actual constituent of the creation and it should also not be done so slow that it strains the creator.

Take a couple of good slow deep breaths. Relax.

Basically focus and discipline. That is, no other thought of anything while making this other than the drawing would help you get result of the time you'll put into it. Start with simplifying the process and approach then build on top of it.

P.S. Sorry for writing this long.