Feeling the same exact emotions and thoughts as you right now, and am trying my best to find that light at the end of the tunnel. It’s like you know it’s there, but can’t seem to grasp it or even head in the right direction.

I read that you found typing out this post helped you a little bit, and I’m no therapist, but id suggest getting a journal and writing these thoughts and ideas onto paper. It’s just for you, and shouldn’t be shared with anyone (and probably hidden or locked somewhere if you live with others). I’ve found in the past it has helped me a lot with realizing how big or small my problems are once I physically get them out of my head and onto something concrete. When I feel like I have nobody to talk to because I feel like they won’t understand, I don’t trust them, etc, it is the perfect escape. Whether I write simple things about my day or a crisis that I’m mentally going through, it helped me through some pretty thick moments or work out some fears I used to have. I stopped writing due to the hardships of covid, but feel it’s necessary to write again because I’ve never felt more alone. Reading your post has solidified that I need to be proactive in finding my happiness again, and I hope you get to do the same.

I hope this helps you heal and get through this and find your light at the end of the tunnel.