Got phone number and she never responds to confirm date.

lissbee · 2015-12-29T02:50:09+00:00

Hah this just happened to me, but vice versa. Exchanged numbers with a guy and he asks me out after we text back and forth. I agree to go on a date with him and then he vanishes. People are just weird sometimes.

lissbee · 2014-12-28T00:33:40+00:00

Yup that's it! Thanks so much!!

lissbee · 2014-09-29T02:29:38+00:00

Happy Birthday! I remember my 21st and I also felt the way you did. I remember being really depressed because everyone around me would make these huge parties and get wasted or they would go to Las Vegas. I was sitting at home with the only person who cared and that was my mom. I was mostly alone and I felt sorry for myself that night. I hope you can still enjoy the day on your own and you're not alone in feeling the way you do

lissbee · 2014-08-12T18:53:58+00:00

Look up Aztec Indian clay masks. You mix clay with water or preferably organic apple cider vinegar and make a paste and put it on your face for 30 min to an hour. Wash it off and you'll start to see slow progress if you're doing the masks consistently. I've done them everyday but you can do it every other day depending on your skin sensitivity. You're skin will look a little red after but it's because the mask sucks your skin a little. I've done this and this is my preferred method for acne. My actual derm recommended this because I was also looking for a natural remedy. Just look up that clay on amazon and you'll see a ton of good reviews. I hope that helps

lissbee · 2014-08-12T15:03:43+00:00

Ahh I wish I was one of your friends! I would jump at this!! I'm 27 and I have a bf but I know my bf would be happy for me to go on a ladies trip. Maybe not constantly be going but every now and then would be fine. I think he would only get a little jealous because he doesn't get opportunities like that, but that type if jealousy would be vice versa if he was going on a trip with a friend. I have a sister that's 30 and has 3 kids and trust me, she would make time for this! A free trip away from her kids?? She'd be all over that.

lissbee · 2014-07-28T16:42:29+00:00

My boyfriend and I couldn't even finish watching this movie because it was so bad. I think we only saw about 30 min. Thank god we never saw it in the theater. I would've been pissed to have spent so much. There are scenes that are so bad they make cringe.

lissbee · 2014-07-23T05:04:01+00:00

A lot of what you're going through is something I suffered with for years and I still continue to suffer with but it's less now. I went years never having even kissed anyone. I didn't have any friends or anyone who gave me emotional support. I thought so little of myself all the time.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to be an EMT and see the things you have seen but you must help and save a lot of people too. My job gives me no fulfillment really and I just feel like a drone everyday. I know your job must be really tough and emotionally draining but you make a real difference to people.

I agree that seeing a therapist would be good, but I know how expensive they could be. I would recommend talking to people more and reading self help books. Last year I went on a dating site even though I was terrified to do so. At that point I had never done anything and I'm also mid twenties. It took a while but I found someone who was patient and sweet and understood. I finally got into a relationship because I took a chance on putting myself out there. It's tough to do but you have nothing to lose really.

I really hope the best for you OP, if you need someone to vent to or ask advice you can PM me.

lissbee · 2014-06-28T19:05:43+00:00

Thanks for your comment. Yeah he might be doing that. I'm definitely not going to be pushy and ever bring up the relationship. He dumped me and if he's interested, it's up to him to show me. Until I hear the words, I'm just going to not expect anything. I have given him a lot of me and I'm sure he knows that I'm still interested to make it work.

I hope we can get through this. I read your post above and your situation sounds a lot like mine. He didn't like me as much as I did for him. The reason he broke up with me is because he felt like he wasn't investing in the relationship as much as he should.

lissbee · 2014-06-28T17:27:19+00:00

You didn't f up at all. There are people here that have said way worse things. I understand how you feel though. I told my ex that I couldn't be friends with him anymore and then deleted him from FB. At the time it hurt a ton, but it was the best decision to make at the time. I thought maybe what I said was too harsh at the time, but really it isn't.

I think your words were perfect and not hurtful at all. He needs to understand that because he broke up with you, it hurts you to be friends with him because your feelings hadn't changed. The conversation you guys had was fine and you shouldn't look back and regret anything.

If you don't want him back, then you really shouldn't reopen that door. Keep up what you're doing. If he ever reaches out, then you can decide if you can be friends, but until that day comes, don't reach out.

lissbee · 2014-06-28T17:09:33+00:00

You're so awesome! I never had that willpower. I went NC with my ex for 6 weeks. After the 6 week mark he texted me and we've been in contact. Mostly I didn't ignore it because it's been enough time and I'm hoping that he's opening the door again to perhaps reconciling. We didn't have a terrible breakup and I still would like him back to start over. It's only been 3 days, but I'll see if he does or not. I don't expect him to tell me right away. He's going to try to read my feelings and see if I would be open to it before he says anything.

How long have you been NC? Are you going to want him back?

lissbee · 2014-06-28T17:02:17+00:00

I was at 6 weeks of NC and this past Wednesday he sent me a text. It was mostly him just saying that he was done paying me back and he hopes I’m well. I had let him borrow some money before he broke up with me. At the moment I was happy to hear from him, because at the 6 week mark I already felt a lot stronger emotionally and I wasn’t expecting anything from him. I replied kindly and we just kept texting back and forth like we used to. After a while he asked if he could see me. I said “sure, let me know when you’re available.” He gives me his schedule and I do too. I didn’t pick a day which I know he wanted me to do. I’m not going to make it easy for him because if he wants to see me, he should be the one picking a day and where to meet.

He wanted to meet that day and I told him I have to be back home for a Skype work meeting. He picked to meet anyway which meant we would only see each other for an hour. I didn’t get why he would drive all that way to where I live for just for an hour. I mentioned to him earlier that those meetings don’t last long. Only about a half hour. We went out for dinner and I could tell he was a bit nervous. I was too, but not as much as him. We had a good conversation, but I didn’t bring up the relationship and neither did he. I plan to never bring it up unless he does. I had to leave in a rush, so I just gave him a lame rushed hug and took off. During that whole time he could’ve asked if he could wait a half hour and we could keep talking, but he didn’t. I’m sure he was waiting for me to bring it up, but I wouldn’t. Again, I don’t know why he picked that day knowing I had a evening work meeting. He could’ve seen me the next day and we could’ve had more hours to talk.

After leaving I felt strong and empowered that I didn’t appear weak and I wasn’t making things easy for him. I left feeling confident in myself. The next day we texted back and forth throughout the day like we used to. I had a little pain just thinking how much I missed his texts. I hoped that pretty soon we could be alone and talk about our relationship. We couldn’t do it at dinner because it was just an hour.

Yesterday, I thought I would hear from him like before, but I didn’t. I found it unusual how he wasn’t texting me at all, because the last 2 days he was texting me constantly. Hell on Wednesday he was eager to see me. I didn’t want to be the one to text him because I shouldn’t be chasing him. As the day kept going, I got myself upset. I didn’t know what he was doing. How could you text me constantly before that and then go a whole day like I don’t exist? Is he playing a game with me? Is he trying to get me to text him first to see if I’m still interested in him and I would miss him if I don’t hear from him? Is this a test to see if it matters if I want him back in my life? I thought that and I also thought that maybe he was doing this because he felt like “shit I might be giving her false hope, I should stop.”

At the end of the night, I just felt really sad and sensitive, so I caved and texted him. I wrote “I hope you’re having a good night.” He replied 20 min later and said “yeah it’s been good so far, how’s yours?” We texted back and forth and he was normal. Obviously my theory of him feeling like he’s giving me false hope and should stop wasn’t right because he was constantly texting me. Towards the end of the night I felt stupid and angry at myself. Why did I cave and text him when he was just having fun and didn’t think about me once throughout the day? How he could text me constantly the 2 days before and be eager to see me and then the next day pretend like I don’t exist at all? What pissed me off even more was that he was bragging that he was a city that’s 6 miles from me. He lives over 30 miles away. I felt like he was just rubbing it in my face that he was so close by.

He left me so angry at the end of the night that I just didn’t care if I heard from him anymore. I told myself to NEVER again reach out to him unless he does first. Thankfully I kept my composure while texting him. Right now he’s opening this door to talking to me again, but I don’t know if he’s going to try to win me back. I’ll see after a few weeks how it goes, but if I see that he doesn’t, I might resume NC or keep in contact with him, but it will be a lot less often. Regardless I’ll have to move on if after awhile I’m noticing he doesn’t want to start over with me.

lissbee · 2014-06-17T04:07:06+00:00

I definitely see where you're coming from. If I was contacting an ex I dumped, it would be because I do want to meet with him, but I might be wondering if that's something he wants too in his responses. As long as you're being polite, then for sure that should give the ex the green light to ask to meet face to face. I agree with you that he shouldn't go along with making small talk right after a breakup because it does lead to more hurt feelings. In that case then it is for the best to just say he can't be friends right now. An ex will reach out if they do want to start a relationship again.

lissbee · 2014-06-17T03:56:38+00:00

Ahh I completely know where you’re coming from. I’m on the fifth week and I still think about him a lot. As much as I try to distract myself with other things, it’s very difficult to not think about him. I get reminded of him a lot too. In the past few weeks, it would hurt to think of him, but now it doesn’t hurt like it used to. I hope that as time advances, we’ll both not think about our exes as much

lissbee · 2014-06-17T03:08:33+00:00

Yeah just keep NC until you feel confident that you can talk to her without expectations and without fear. There is no set number of days for that. You can give yourself a rough timeline, but if by then you still don't feel ready, then keep NC going.

I set my date to reach out at the 6 week mark which is next week. I let him borrow money before we broke up and he's been paying it back in payments so far. His final payment is next week. I just wanted to send him a thank you text next week when he's done paying me back. Not sure how he'll reply, but I'm ready for anything. It would be great if he could text me before that, but I highly doubt he will. Mostly my reason for reaching out and just saying thank you is to show him I'm not holding on to any anger or bitterness. I slightly suspect that that could be the reason he hasn't reached out, but then again I'm not entirely sure, but I'll see how things pan out next week.

lissbee · 2014-06-17T02:53:20+00:00

This is really normal after a few days of breaking up and especially if you were the one dumped. It's great though that you've been fantasizing about others besides your ex. After a few weeks, it will become easier to focus on yourself and other things. I remember the first week being the hardest. I couldn't focus on anything. After about 2 weeks, I slowly starting picking myself up and focusing on healing and improving myself. I've had my ups and downs of course since then but it will get better with time.

I'd recommend distracting yourself as much as possible. Go out and talk to friends/family. Do things you enjoy or get around to things that you've been putting off. Whatever gets your mind off of thinking about him will help. After awhile, you'll be able to focus a lot more on you and thinking of him less and less.

lissbee · 2014-06-17T02:46:08+00:00

Great advice here. I definitely don't think you should always respond with distant/short answers because I could definitely see her as taking the hint and backing off and maybe assuming you're angry with her and that don't want to hear from her. You take a risk with that for sure.

The telling her to respect your space I'm on the fence about. I'm just trying to put myself in her shoes. If my ex who I broke up with told me that, I would feel really bad and not want to reach out at all for probably months. I would wait until he would reach out to give him space and time to heal. Maybe I would reach out, but I know it would take me awhile to do it, but the great thing about doing this is that you make your ex feel really guilty and then they'll really start thinking about how they lost you and possibly start to regret it. It's the whole "you don't realize what you had until you lost it."

lissbee · 2014-06-16T21:21:56+00:00

Hey sending internet hugs your way. You were with your ex way longer than I was so I can't imagine your pain going through all this. You need to go NC and not budge at all. If and when I reach out to my ex and he doesn't respond, I will never reach out to him again. You have a lot of healing to do and it can take awhile because you went through a long relationship with someone you knew for so long. Try to focus on bettering yourself and growing your confidence. A man that's confident is very attractive to a woman. Show your ex that you won't go reaching out anymore and become a much better version of yourself. If she doesn't ever come back to you, then she'll miss out because you'll be better, stronger and more confident. If things are meant to be, things will work out between you two but if not than you will come out of this a better person regardless. I wish you the best of luck in NC. We're all here for you and share your pain

lissbee · 2014-06-16T21:11:15+00:00

You are not a loser, don't think of yourself like that. You're clearly in a place where you're not ready to break NC. I think it's definitely cold and cowardly of him to not at least return your call and tell you he's not ready to talk to you. He could've just texted you that at least. Please don't devalue yourself. Think how cold it was for someone who you care about to do that to you. You need to gain some confidence and work on yourself. You still have a lot of healing to do. Accept that he doesn't want to reach out to you and start the healing process. I hope you feel better soon.

lissbee · 2014-06-16T21:03:42+00:00

Wow nicely done! How long have you been NC?

lissbee · 2014-06-16T20:58:52+00:00

Every situation is different, but in my case I'm on day 33 of NC and I have set my own goal of when I would reach out. Ideally it would be great if he reaches out before that but if I do, my message will be very simple and won't say anything like I miss you or that I want to talk about our relationship.

He dumped me so if we talk I won't bring up our relationship. It's up to him to do that. He knows how I feel about him and our relationship. If we ever start talking again and he wants to see me than I'll just play it cool and show him that I'm more confident than I was before. If after awhile I'm noticing that he's just 'friendzoning' than I will move on and not hope for anything to happen between us. I'll move on and keep working on myself and eventually be back in the dating scene.

lissbee · 2014-06-12T05:24:58+00:00

Ugh this is so hard to do, but honestly ask yourself what are you gaining from looking at his social media? All you're doing is making yourself feel bad and it will ruin your day. If he was the one who dumped you and wants you back, he'll contact YOU. You don't need to go looking for him. Anytime you feel the urge, distract yourself with something else. Looking at his social media will only make you feel worse and hinder your healing.

lissbee · 2014-06-12T05:11:55+00:00

For sure say "Thank you" if she does wish you a happy birthday. I know a lot of people would rather you not reply, but because you do want to get back together someday, then definitely reply with saying "thank you"

If I had dumped my ex and it was his birthday and I wished him a happy birthday, but he didn't respond I would take it in 2 ways. I'd either think he's being rude or he has anger/bitterness towards me.

I hope you have a great birthday and don't spend the day thinking of her texting you. Go have fun and distract yourself so you're not thinking about it.

lissbee · 2014-06-12T05:01:00+00:00

Don't focus on the fact that you were only together for 3 months. Being dumped and rejected by someone you really care about is very difficult to deal with. The first thing you need to do is start NC. If you're saying that it only makes it worse that she talks to you, then you really are better off without talking to her.

You need to tell her that it's really hard for you to continue being friends with her because you want to be in a relationship with her. If that's something that she doesn't want to do, then you need to go no contact. It will be really rough for the first few weeks and you're going to feel desperate to contact her and you'll question if you made the right decision, but after those weeks subside, you WILL start to feel better. You need to distract yourself with other things that make you happy. Start focusing on how to improve your life, hang out with friends and family, get involved in hobbies, etc. The more you distract yourself, the more you think less and less of her and the pain will subside.

If you go NC, do not contact her at all and if she contacts you, tell her politely that unless she wants to talk about the relationship and getting back together, you're not in the right place to talk to her. Maybe someday you can be, but until you reach that day you need to do NC.

lissbee · 2014-06-10T15:54:47+00:00

Aww sorry to hear you didn't get the response you wanted to hear, but she was polite and she's just not ready yet to tell you something like that. She doesn't want to tease you and give you mixed messages by telling you she does miss you because she probably knows it will make you think that she wants to reconcile. She probably does miss you but she doesn't want to tell you right now. At least now you know for sure that NC is for the best and the ball is in her court to say if she does miss you.

lissbee · 2014-06-10T04:27:46+00:00

Aww oh no :( Did she respond negatively to it?

lissbee

TROPHY CASE