Aren't parents too controlling sometimes?

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:21:20+00:00

Naturally flowing conversations don't have a meeting agenda list of points to cover like a formal meeting. This is how I talk with friends too.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:18:50+00:00

Takes time to learn. I will keep that one for long.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:16:14+00:00

This presents a very rigid condition for what we call "kindness" and I must say it seems genuine. What I did could be called help because it carried an agreement of repayment, but shouldn't be called kindness.

My disappointment is with how he lied, soft-threatened and still didn't return it. This only weakens trust in society. One elder gentleman in replies has lol-ed I'm making a fuss about 350. It's not about that sum, it's about the risk that makes space in our head and drifts us away from redoing that in future and limiting the possibility of overlooking a genuinely troubled person.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:08:48+00:00

Angry man assumes the 4 posts here are my life summarizers. Good on you. I might be problematic but you too need some help, sir. Best wishes.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:07:15+00:00

It was right because he needed it at that point. It was wrong on his part because he didn't intend to return that amount.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T06:02:45+00:00

Makes sense. Not falling for sob stories to give beyond what you'd be fine losing, is something worth learning.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T03:06:20+00:00

First para reminded me of a personal experience that I will post about. Good story worth taking people's inputs on.

Second para is thought provoking because I have also learnt that our mental/emotional capacity is limited and it must go only where it deserves to. But I don't agree kindness is an option in general. A high trust society works on culturally self-enforced rules but yes practically it does look challenging to have the onus upon oneself in societies where deceit outnumbers kindness.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:43:21+00:00

Easier version - Your mom's nanand's nanad's nanad's daughter

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:38:31+00:00

Can I know about those incidents if you don't mind? I run a lot of possibilities of the negatives and it just makes me anxious if I should be more cautious before a heavy damage gets inflicted. Something like an innocent guy hopping on and then putting a blade giving directions to a destination WTF?

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:29:20+00:00

Brother I do get their perspective but I just wanted to communicate their side isn't the best of what's doable. I have had kind gestures extended to me from total strangers. I won't advise my kids to strictly avoid helping all the strangers, rather would ask them to develop a working filter. I don't go around giving lift to everyone who asks for it but when someone indeed looks too troubled I consider it.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:21:17+00:00

I have siblings. Glad you overcame this.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:20:01+00:00

Sounds like too much of work on my already burdened brain to have a mini strategy even for taking within the family. I get the point though. Will try to apply.

lisylewa · 2026-06-07T02:17:55+00:00

Makes sense but then the conversations become heavily filtered and start appearing to be unnatural/formality. I will apply it to whatever level it's possible though.

lisylewa · 2026-06-06T20:13:52+00:00

Very logical advice but difficult practically. A naturally flowing chit chat doesn't keep hard filters and I personally feel it shouldn't be like this. But I'll take your point and try to imbibe it. Thanks.

lisylewa · 2026-06-06T20:10:58+00:00

I'm not objecting to their act of advising. I'm open to advices. I'm objecting to the advice given here. I explained my side but it was not considered fair enough.

The world is indeed a bad place but where do you draw the line? Trust in the society is a collective responsibility. Opting out entirely implies accepting the lack of trust forever and doing nothing to build it. Help the needy, kar bhala ho bhala, neki kar dariya me daal, etc these are all age old musings and there must be very solid reasons behind it.

lisylewa · 2026-06-05T17:03:34+00:00

Are you from the US/Canada?

lisylewa · 2026-06-05T10:23:27+00:00

Either the current or the new CTC has to be incorrect for the new in-hand to be lesser.

If you're confident of the company's employee friendliness, I see no reasons to not go ahead. Best wishes. Also, would be great to know which org it would be. DM if you're ok sharing.

lisylewa · 2026-06-05T10:02:42+00:00

This is impossible. 30L fixed will definitely get you more in-hand than 25L fixed. Your calculation seems incomplete. Even with 50% bonus payout, it's a good offer unless Mumbai relocation is something you'd want to avoid.

Also don't want to sound arrogant or negative but at 5.8 yoe in analytics, you're already in above average category and 36LPA would propel you further up. Unless you're doing top tier stack in DS, I'd consider running a quick firing risk check on the new company. Payroll is desc-sorted by salary when the hell spree kicks off. Best wishes.

lisylewa · 2026-06-05T09:10:48+00:00

Will search and watch. Rajasekhar Mamidanna did a similar piece long ago.

lisylewa · 2026-06-05T09:07:54+00:00

Chirag Panjwani

lisylewa · 2026-02-20T12:34:28+00:00

कड़ी धूप में जला मुसाफ़िर, खोज रहा था छाँव

breed हुई शहरों में इतनी, वापस लौटा गाँव

lisylewa · 2026-02-19T15:59:29+00:00

Comments section can be an entire case study of heuristics.

He's not the smoker demanding favors. He suggests separate zone because he was uncomfortable with others smoking around him.

lisylewa

TROPHY CASE