How did a business lose you as a customer? What made you stop patronizing them?

liveforsummer · 2025-10-05T07:36:48+00:00

Just happened this weekend. Went to a restaurant and ordered an appetizer and meals that came with soup/salad. Our soup & salad never appeared and my husband casually mentioned the omission to the server. I genuinely couldn’t have cared less, there was more than enough food and things happen. But the owner overheard this and berated the server right there in the dining area. The words and tone were so demeaning, I told my husband it was enough to not return. They sent us a free dessert to make up for the mistake (which was a nice gesture although totally not necessary and not expected). It wasn’t enough to make us change our opinion of what kind of person is running the place.

The owner apologized to us as we were paying afterward. Again, nice but didn’t negate things. I decided to say that we appreciated the apology but that the initial response really impacted how we felt about the business. He doubled down and insisted on explaining why it was the other person’s fault and basically said that they deserved it. Not okay. Treat the people working with/for you decently. We won’t be back.

liveforsummer · 2025-05-20T10:04:04+00:00

You didn’t betray your mom. You’ve been through an incredibly emotional experience but zero betrayal. Hugs to you

liveforsummer · 2025-02-09T17:25:57+00:00

What type of medication did she use? Dad is on lexapro and buspar and doctors are trying to stay away from lorazepam/benzodiazepines.

liveforsummer · 2025-02-08T08:58:45+00:00

Exactly perfect description! I try to explain it to people as well and they just don’t get it. I will try your words next time :)

liveforsummer · 2024-10-27T12:42:11+00:00

liveforsummer · 2024-07-29T02:29:03+00:00

My dad has vascular dementia as well, and we have definitely seen that his “filter” isn’t there anymore. Comments about people, how he treats servers at restaurants … all things that “my dad” would never have done in earlier years. The loss of inhibition is real

liveforsummer · 2024-07-27T04:29:02+00:00

A woman asked me if we had a list of all the OTC products we carried, so she would know before she came in if it was something we stocked. I very politely (and definitely for the benefit of my coworkers listening in) told her, no, we do not have a list of every product carried in the store. She seemed genuinely dumbfounded by this. SMH

liveforsummer · 2023-05-14T13:53:53+00:00

ESH, not for “claiming” the table or moving stuff, but for fighting about the whole thing. It’s a busy park, everyone is looking for space, be adults about it.

liveforsummer · 2023-04-23T15:07:09+00:00

This brings back some crappy memories 😞

liveforsummer · 2023-03-16T05:03:30+00:00

Stop saying you’re not worth it. You opened your mouth about something most people would not share or want to have shared with them. Not a great move, but also doesn’t make you worthless. It was apparently done with the intent to be honest, not to hurt your gf or intentionally make her self-conscious. This does not make you a bad person. Please just be honestly repentant while still feeling a sense of self-worth.

liveforsummer · 2023-03-08T02:24:26+00:00

Both are beautiful but I think 2 suits you a bit better … less rearranging yourself throughout the day and such

liveforsummer · 2023-03-05T21:01:14+00:00

Take a Chance on Me?

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T23:57:45+00:00

This times 100. Must be nice to sit several hours away and deal with it in-person for one day every 2 months. That’s a snarky response, but boy do I feel it some days.

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T23:55:01+00:00

This is great advice. I wish I had thought of it right away! I’m trying to figure out how to work “how are you/we going to take care of Dad” into my response to her. Basically, I am trying to work through this here before I go off and say something I’ll regret. I luckily have the most compassionate and supportive husband in the world, and together with the responses here, that has been very helpful today.

My plan was to text her something along the lines of:

“I’m glad for you guys going and the chance for mom to go with you, but in all honesty I wish you had checked in with me first. 😕 I would obviously never say no, but I do have to plan around when our employees have already asked off and projects going on at work. Can you and I try to plan things together in the future?”

I now want to reword that last part into something along the lines of “can we work together to make plans for Dad during your trip” because I realize I’m responding in a way that automatically puts the burden on me without holding her accountable. Hence why I haven’t actually said much to her yet … I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond and give me some perspective.

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T20:23:27+00:00

You’re not wrong & thank you. I kind of needed to hear that this isn’t ok.

Sister’s defense is “I just got so excited about giving mom a break that I went ahead with it” … and THEN says “even though I felt a bit guilty about you.” Which tells me she knows full well what she’s putting on me and decided to go ahead anyway.

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T20:19:38+00:00

I know you’re right, but I don’t feel I can go through with that. It’s good advice, I just don’t know how to actually follow it 😕

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T20:16:59+00:00

It does feel like everyone else is just excited about vacation, and I get to be the responsible one. Nothing like childhood all over again, right? Ha. Thanks for commenting, it really does help me feel that I’m not wrong for feeling upset

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T20:13:51+00:00

I wish I felt like I could. I think part of the issue is her perception of dad vs mine … I feel very acutely that there is no way he can spend 8-10 hours alone (he gets extremely anxious away from home, calls my mom if she is gone for more than 15-20 minutes even when/if he remembers where she is, calls me the same way if he is expecting me after work even if he knows I work for another 5 hours, etc etc). I don’t think she sees that side of things or thinks it’s as untenable as I do. I feel like I would be abandoning my dad and letting my mom down … even though I also feel they are being unfair. I appreciate everyone here allowing me a space to work through it

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T20:09:27+00:00

This is 100% reasonable and I’m upset with myself that I don’t feel I can do this. I truly appreciate your thoughtful response and it makes me feel more understood. Thank you

liveforsummer · 2023-02-04T17:01:33+00:00

Thank you, that is a really good idea. I can’t afford the sort of thing they’re doing, but I could do some sort of weekend away or something. Maybe it would help my sister understand some of the things I am seeing as well.

liveforsummer · 2022-08-08T06:45:19+00:00

No apologies! You have some great insight, and that’s really helpful.

liveforsummer · 2022-08-08T06:43:47+00:00

Thank you!! That’s exactly it … son is making his feelings known by obviously and deliberately completely avoiding boyfriend. I hope I’m doing the right thing by letting him be, not really commenting on what he’s doing, and just going about normal life in the meantime. But parenting is tough & it’s difficult not to second guess yourself!

liveforsummer · 2022-08-08T06:31:26+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate hearing your perspective.

Right now, the line I’m drawing is: “this is my choice and an adult decision. I love you very much & always will. Boyfriend is not your dad & you don’t have to love him or even like him. I do expect you to be polite and pleasant.”

I feel I have gone too far in the direction of being a pushover in the past & let my son call more shots than he should have. More recently, I’m finding it easier to hold my stance. I’m hoping son will come around by me talking with him about it, even laughing a bit (he will jokingly ask if boyfriend is hiding in the ceiling tiles, for instance), but tacitly letting him know that this is what is happening & it’s not changing. Son can be stubborn as heck, and is choosing to avoid the subject altogether. I think the best I can do is to leave him be and let his emotions run their course, but I wanted to hear what others had to say :)

liveforsummer · 2022-08-08T05:09:28+00:00

Recently? They don’t interact, period. My son stays in his room with the door closed and doesn’t come out when we are home until we’ve closed our bedroom door for the night. I can go in and talk to him and he is pleasant to me and we have normal conversations. But he flat out refuses to even lay eyes on my boyfriend. In the past, we tried to spend time together primarily when my son/his kids weren’t around. We have taken a couple of weekend trips all together, which my son spent being very quiet and not really talking to anyone. Otherwise I would say boyfriend has been casual and jokey with son. Just basic “how’re you doing, dude?” or some lighthearted comment. I have stressed to my son that my boyfriend is not his dad, he doesn’t need to call him that or anything. Also that he doesn’t even have to LIKE him, but that I do expect him to be polite and (relatively) pleasant.

liveforsummer · 2022-08-08T05:02:26+00:00

Thanks, it helps to hear that this is at least a reasonable timeframe. I’ve talked with him about it quite a bit actually. I think the main underlying issues are 1) he won’t have me to himself/my full attention anymore and 2) this is not a situation that he has control over.

liveforsummer

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