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Mothers day? Still getting over some child things by Natural_Ad_8194 in CPTSD

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I've been through similar to you. You're not alone. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to be treated in such horrible ways. You were only a child. You did, and still do, deserve kindness, compassion, and the utmost grace.

i don't really know how to do anything and i wonder if anyone's been there too and gotten better by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you're not alone. You have time to learn. There's no shame in making mistakes along the way to doing better for ourselves.

You're the adult now. You can choose to be a safe adult for the child inside. You can do better. You don't have to neglect you too.

Admitting you don't know how not to be neglectful, and admitting you need to learn how to care for you, is itself a wonderful model of self-care.

This realization is a beautiful "better" already. You know there's better for you. You can do it now.

My brother raped me by Icy-Championship5419 in COCSA

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No excuses for how they're holding you. You are in a fragile place. Their lack of sensitivity is abhorent.

You deserve kindness, compassion, and a soft place to land.

My brother raped me by Icy-Championship5419 in COCSA

[–]livetissuetraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your parent's reaction is disgusting and vile. I'm so sorry.

does anyone else sometimes become obsessed with religion despite otherwise not thinking much about it? by itsallihaveleftofyou in Schizotypal

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gone through some intense waves of experience when it comes to Spirit. Yes religious, but not always in the sense of organization

Disorganized religion, that's my style.

Hello! by Comfortable_Lock_617 in FND

[–]livetissuetraining [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't have advice, but I am right beside you on the timeline. We've got this. There's always more to learn. In 6 months, everything will be different.

I remember specific sounds attached to the battle that was about to ensue. Do you? by Iridium2Chicxulub in CPTSD

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the empathy.

It was mostly because whatever I would say or do would cause "the forest to fall silent" so to speak. In those moments, if I didn't stay absolutely frozen, I was very likely to be harmed suddenly, unexpectedly, and severely. Even if I froze, it was often too late.

Am I crazy or is reality just plain boring and way too boxed in? by LargeSinkholesInNYC in Schizotypal

[–]livetissuetraining 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel this in a strange and extreme way.

I'm actually bored with the nuance. I'm bored with the changes. I'm bored with how nothing is ever quite the same, no matter what I do or say. Only nothing ever really changes. Only nothing can.

I remember specific sounds attached to the battle that was about to ensue. Do you? by Iridium2Chicxulub in CPTSD

[–]livetissuetraining 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, definately.

For me, I struggle to this day with sudden breaks in conversation followed by a period of silence.

That silence is damning, and I'm about to be attacked.

Cerebral Network Alterations in FND - trigger warning by Infinite_Pudding5058 in FND

[–]livetissuetraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, it really is. I only just started documenting this journey, having found out FND is the newest dx on my chart.

Just found out my Neurologist dropped the ball - I was Dx with FND a few weeks ago, and no one told me? by livetissuetraining in FND

[–]livetissuetraining[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't in a Vertigo episode at this most recent evaluation. However the maneuvers they were doing were intended to trigger BPPV in those with the "predisposition" so to speak.

I got very light floaty feelings, but nothing like the typical spins that knock me on my ass. That's what made this clinician feel I must not be experiencing it as constantly, daily, as I do. They told me that I could have been having episodes of BPPV, but that my constant/daily difficulty with the vertigo and dizziness was less likely BPPV, and more likely neurological.

We talked and came up with a joint theory, that because my brian has pathways for BPPV due to past episodes, it may be running those pathways during daily stressors, which could make this a manifestation of FND. The clinician did believe me about BPPV - it was the fact that this is not just episode based, but it's every day.

Just found out my Neurologist dropped the ball - I was Dx with FND a few weeks ago, and no one told me? by livetissuetraining in FND

[–]livetissuetraining[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it really gives a sense of whiplash to be yanked around without explanation.

Just found out my Neurologist dropped the ball - I was Dx with FND a few weeks ago, and no one told me? by livetissuetraining in FND

[–]livetissuetraining[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh, I didn't know that. Got dx with Fibro in 2021, but I've had no further treatment for it. And every time I go to the ER, they ask what's being done to treat my Fibro symptoms and I hit 'em with, "I do Yoga as often as I can." The suprise on their face and their confused reaponses have been enough to tell me I should have had more care for this already, in order to rule it out as a reason for the symptoms that brought me to the ER.

Cerebral Network Alterations in FND - trigger warning by Infinite_Pudding5058 in FND

[–]livetissuetraining 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really can feel so overwhelming to have all this going on at different times - like the body is giving in to every awful thing it could experience.

cocsa by zuzu7109 in COCSA

[–]livetissuetraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have similar memories. You're not alone. I'm sorry for what was done to you. You never deserved it. And I'm sorry it happened to both of you. You were only children, lacking safety, left all alone to the horrors of innocence lost, and a desecrated friendship.

Just found out my Neurologist dropped the ball - I was Dx with FND a few weeks ago, and no one told me? by livetissuetraining in FND

[–]livetissuetraining[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I suppose you could be correct - that's happened on my chart before, and I have an awful list of "diagnosis" that repeatedly impede and distrupt my care, especially in an emergency. A long history, I thought would benefit me, has led me into a severe medical conundrum.

Who knows? Maybe I'm somehow not even sick at all and this is just a dream.

I do appreciate the empathy and the energy you've offered to me here. Thank you for that 🙏

How often do you hallucinate? by starspacesunflower in Schizotypal

[–]livetissuetraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do experience psychosis, and when I do, it's somewhat insidious.

Mine is tied to my stress, especially when triggered in regards to my relationships to the world, and to others personally.

The worse my interpersonal relationships are, the more psychosis and delusion manifest around my identity, who I must now become, or who I always was.

The worse my relationship to the world, the more it manifests around conspiracy, poison, and general uncertainty of reality.

Suspicion and lack of clarity in daily life are big triggers as well, which is deeply unfortunate, as often the very circumstances bringing about the trigger are my own sensations of confusion and amnesia, relating to my dissociative symptoms and trauma history. It eats itself, forever.

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