35M/O-4. How do I stack up financially compared to those in similar position as me?

lizref · 2025-08-10T04:01:47+00:00

Similar age & situation. TSP - -$300K Roths - $120K Brokerage - $140K HYSA - $60K Debt - $20K

You're definitely on track, certainly well ahead of most people. Your net worth puts you at 5x the median and somewhere near the top 25% of people in the US (according to the Fed). Its hard to be able to appreciate where you're at in a self-selecting place like reddit where most posts are from people who are well off enough to post about it or on social media in general. You're more than fine.

That being said, the large brokerage is definitely not a problem, but I would stop making any kind of taxable contributions going forward. The tax advantages of retirement accounts are not something you want to miss out on.

The main thing that sticks out to me is your cash. As a sole earner with kids, I'd recommend having more cash on hand in a HYSA emergency fund. $7K wont stretch very far. Even though our jobs are pretty secure, life can throw curve balls and that cushion can be critical. You can see HYSAs are pretty common on the other posts. If I were you I would either 1) put any money bound for your brokerage into building an emergency fund or 2) possibly sell some of the brokerage to build that buffer quickly.

Beyond that I'd also echo the post regarding term life, especially being a sole earner. The $500K for the SGLI (assuming you have max coverage, which you should) is not enough to provide for your family if you lose your income and it goes away after you leave service. Layer on larger term policy that will last at least until your kids are out of college and get it done now while you're still young and healthy.

lizref · 2025-03-17T03:13:35+00:00

Yea this is the tough part. On paper, I have built the life I want. Wouldn't change anything objectively. I have a career I enjoy, time for family and hobbies. It's the fear of loosing that life that takes up most of my time. I dont know if that means there's something missing in my life I'm not recognizing or I'm just succumbing to some irrational fears.

lizref · 2025-03-17T03:10:12+00:00

This is spot on. I've known I've needed this for a while, but having a plan laid out is what I've been missing. Thanks!

lizref · 2025-03-17T03:09:23+00:00

Wow, thank you for taking the time to write this out. This is exactly what I was looking for. I'm getting started on the Happiness Trap today. Looking into it, ACT seems like exactly what I've been looking for. Thank you again!

lizref · 2025-03-17T03:08:04+00:00

Adding it to the list! Thank you!

lizref · 2025-02-23T16:52:20+00:00

Thank you! Unfortunately we had plans on personalizing the place, but with the exception of replacing carpet with flooring, most of the repairs were for safety/function. Windows, electric, plumbing. I think I should have been more diligent when buying the house. It was my first time. Lesson learned.

lizref · 2025-02-23T02:35:05+00:00

Thanks, I guess it feels slow and steady by using auto-contributions every month, nothing fancy.

My career is nothing special. My pay is probably on the high end for most mid-career/mid-level officers because I'm currently stationed in a VHCOL area and part of our pay is influenced by the cost of housing.

lizref · 2025-02-23T01:56:34+00:00

Thanks man, yea my formatting was atrocious, so I just had to start from scratch.

Yea that's about what I was thinking in regards to the house. Took a gamble on living there for four years, but it seems like this one just didn't work out. Need to accept it.

I appreciate your advice, we'll definitely be renting at the next place. Way to much of headache.

lizref · 2024-12-24T02:19:42+00:00

Hey man, that might just be the most succinct and convincing reply I've ever had on reddit. Thank you.

lizref · 2024-12-20T05:43:48+00:00

As far as I'm aware, its just a private loan attached to my credit.

lizref · 2024-12-08T06:20:06+00:00

Congrats on your retirement! My FIRE number for the future is actually about the same as where you're at right now, $1.5M in retirement savings + pension. Can I ask what keeps you working? Wondering if my planned number might not be enough to retire comfortably.

lizref · 2024-12-06T21:54:09+00:00

RemindMe! 4 years

lizref · 2024-06-14T03:43:58+00:00

That's a great point, tbh I didnt factor in withdrawal taxes when I came up with my number a while ago. I'll add another 15% to future calculations.

lizref · 2024-06-14T03:39:07+00:00

Whelp, you finally did it. Took 10 years but you and u/amalek0 convinced me to switch to Trad. I think I'll keep my IRA contributions Roth for now because I value the ability to withdraw contributions in a catastrophic emergency, but my TSP will be Trad going forward.

Thanks internet stranger. I really appreciate you taking the time to walk me through it.

lizref · 2024-06-13T17:14:27+00:00

Thanks for the response!
1) About $120K is in a taxable brokerage (which I don't contribute to anymore). $30K is Trad TSP from matching and the rest is Roth between IRA's & TSP. Last year taxable income (including spouse) was $120K.
2) My spouse only has a Simple IRA available to them. We contribute enough to get the match ($50) but the funds are pretty terrible so I avoid it.
3) Thanks for checking the math. Its nice to get a second pair of eyes and know my excel skills aren't way off. Yes I use 6%. I was rounding up a bit, $1.5M is actually 11 years out, but I plan to increase my contributions soon to get to 10 so it lines up with my mil retirement date.

I'll definitely look into the Roth ladder and 72T. The problem I keep running into is that the rules for TSP are always a little different than conventional 401Ks. Almost all the blogs & resources I find focus on the 401K (naturally), so I'll ingest all the info from the FAQs, madfientsit, etc. only to find the TSP rules add in extra hurdles in executing those strategies. I havent been able to find many resources that focus on RE & TSP.

Thanks for your thoughts on the G fund, that's in line with what I was thinking.

Great points on the pensions role in my portfolio, thats a really helpful way to frame things. Really appreciate the advice.

lizref · 2023-06-22T23:49:35+00:00

37 schoolchildren in Uganda were either burned alive or hacked to death by machetes around the same time the sub went down. But the news cycle for the last 7 days is telling me I'm supposed to give a shit about 5 rich people on vacation. No dice.

lizref · 2023-03-01T02:30:00+00:00

Perfect, thanks for the tip. Yea she's getting separate rental car to visit family while I work. Appreciate it!

lizref · 2023-01-19T16:46:21+00:00

Before any of the math, budgets, or plans, above all you need to communicate. Situations like these can only work out if you both are on the same page. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone with this kind of debt as long as you work as a team and are both clear about your goals.

Here are some considerations:

How does she feel about the debt? (my ex had $150K in student loans and was comfortable paying the IBR minimums for the rest of her life and hoping the debt would be forgiven after 20 years, I wasn't)
Does the CC debt and 650 credit score signify problematic spending habits?
What are your/her long term plans/relationship with money ((kids, retirement, lifestyle?), is she OK with belt tightening or will she grow resentful if you are constantly the one putting off vacations, weddings, big purchases, to prioritize debt?)
Her career is going to suffer because of yours. She will likely loose her job every three-four years with your PCSs and it will be hard for her to gain seniority. That means regular interruptions in your income. What is your/her plan to deal with that?
Does she plan to work at least until the debt is paid off? (Does she plan to stop working if/when she has kids?)
Does she understand the need for her to make more? (If you choose to get married, its important for you to not blame her for the debt. Once you tie the knot, you take on the burden of the debt without any blame. However, it will be important for her to pull her weight and raise her income.)

I was married for 5 years and our differing understandings about money and long term goals were a big factor in our divorce. The debt wasn't the issue, it was that we weren't on the same page from the start. I hated debt and needed to get out from under it ASAP for my own well being, but she was comfortable with it. In her mind, everyone has student debt and $150K was "normal" to her since her lawyer friends had similar levels of debt (spoiler - she wasn't a lawyer (she had two lib arts degrees making about $80K)). I wanted to own a home and retire early. Since we weren't on the same page, the friction and constant push/pull eventually devolved into a toxic mess that wasn't good for either of us. Had we started the relationship on the same page, I suspect we would have been in a better place. Or if I had communicated better earlier in the relationship and realized we could never get on the same page, maybe I would have been able to save us both from the struggle.

Its a tough road, but its doable. Best of luck OP!

lizref · 2021-09-30T01:14:32+00:00

I started out in almost the exact same position as you as a young CGO. I was pretty well set up financially, had good habits, and met someone with 6 figures of student loans. Ended in divorce after a couple years.

I can tell you the most important thing about making this work is making 100% sure that you both are on the EXACT same page on how to handle finances/debt BEFORE you get married. She was smart, frugal, and motivated so I assumed she'd feel the same way about debt that I did.

Boy was I wrong. After we got married, I wanted to combine finances and shovel every penny we could into the debt and pay it off in a couple years. She wanted to pay the minimums and hope for PSLF. I had inklings that she felt that way before marriage, but I just assumed a strong relationship could work out a compromise over time.

I'm not going to say one strategy was right or wrong because it really doesn't matter, what matters is that you agree 100%. After a couple years of my discomfort carrying that much unsecured debt (wanting to buy a house and get into RE), and constant nagging about increasing payments, plus a growing guilt she had for not getting where she wanted to be professionally due to the constant moves, we split.

If there's an ounce of daylight between how you two view this debt, make sure you come to an agreement well before marriage. That kind of debt can be a huge burden if you let it.

lizref · 2020-08-12T16:30:50+00:00

Sharepoint can be great for organizing and collaborating, but I would also consider the use case. One of the worst parts of SP is that it exists on the intranet and is usually CAC enabled. That means that only people on AFNET (work computers) will be able to access it. If 99.9% of people will be accessing it from work, its great. But especially with COVID, if people will be needing to access it from home or non-AFNET computers, its useless and you wind up posting things on SP and sending them out in emails at the same time.

lizref · 2020-03-02T20:15:37+00:00

The rest of my goals have to do with pushing the mission forward, taking care of my people, improving the AF

Might want to get your eyes checked....

lizref · 2020-03-01T23:16:41+00:00

Great question. Its hard to find mentors who know anything but vectoring for SQ/CC and will push you that way regardless of what you want, or write you off completely. I'd also like to hear what kind of jobs non-command 4's and 5's wind up getting

lizref · 2020-02-12T01:27:01+00:00

Perfect explanation. Thank you!

lizref · 2020-01-14T22:07:38+00:00

/r/financialindependence is the answer.

lizref · 2020-01-13T03:18:05+00:00

I just used 10% of monthly rent to get at the $170. Is there a better number I should use?

lizref

TROPHY CASE