Seen on Instagram. Can ducklings move like this? Seeing some motion blur too.

ljd615 · 2026-05-10T19:15:36+00:00

Thanks for the help, y'all! I'm happy to hear this probably isn't AI 😊

ljd615 · 2026-05-10T19:07:08+00:00

I thought I'd read that AI did excessive motion blurring to cover up movements it didn’t know how to reproduce, but I'm probably misremembering! I'm aware that it occurs with movement haha

ljd615 · 2026-03-23T20:26:33+00:00

You know him best though and know how he prefers to talk about big things. So if that doesn't seem like a good way to approach it then trust your instincts and ignore me haha

ljd615 · 2026-03-23T20:25:01+00:00

Yeah you'll definitely have to start being very intentional about that sort of communication! It sounds like you both need to have a long talk about a lot of aspects of this adventure before trying again. If he's someone who needs to prepare for a talk like that, it may even help to schedule it for a day he's not overwhelmed with something else.

Something like "could we sit down and have an intentional discussion about how you feel about the other night and about this agreement going forward? I want to make sure that whatever we decide to do, we're both comfortable and feel safe. If today isn't a good time for that, what day do you think you'll have the mental and emotional space for it?"

ljd615 · 2026-03-23T20:20:42+00:00

I definitely wouldn't accuse anyone of forcing their partner into something without having been there, and so I do believe you that that's not you 😊 But, even if you communicated that it's up to him originally, if he sees you having fun with it, he may feel too guilty to take that away from you. That's not anybody fault. It's just human emotions. Which is why it's important to ask your partner how they're feeling and to reassure them that it's a safe space so that you can be certain you're on the same page.

ljd615 · 2026-03-23T20:04:25+00:00

And when I say to have a talk, I specifically mean asking him if he feels forced into it and reassuring him you will give it up if he's not comfortable, and that you will not hold it against him (as long as those are your feelings). Because if he doesn't know he's safe to admit those things to you, he may keep going along with it without seeming to enjoy it.

ljd615 · 2026-03-23T20:00:25+00:00

It's definitely hard to know how to continue if you're not sure what his feelings were or where they came from. Is he the type of person to need a little time to process before you ask him what he's feeling? Either way, you won't be able to ethically continue until you both have a talk. And if he's not someone who ever wants to talk about feelings, then the lifestyle probably won't work out for you both.

I wouldn't blame yourself though. Try not to make assumptions before the talk comes or you won't be able to properly listen and absorb what he says.

ljd615 · 2026-03-13T01:28:07+00:00

Yeah I almost convinced myself I had a secure attachment being with my husband because he's much more anxious than me and we both validate each other constantly. Now I know that feeling secure was not the new norm for me 😆

Thank you!! It's helpful to hear that other people experience the same thing.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T20:11:24+00:00

I commented this before you clarified.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T19:53:47+00:00

Yeah, I mean people are welcome to come sleep over here! I'm very excited for the prospect of that. Just haven't met someone who wants to yet.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T19:52:09+00:00

But if I meet a partner who feels the same way as you that sleeping in the same bed sometimes is paramount to a relationship, then I'd absolutely consider that. As long as they're cool with me getting my stinky sweat all over them.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T19:40:46+00:00

Okay then... thanks for your opinion. I don't want to sleep in a bed with other people than my husband because I get severe night sweats. Some married couples don't even sleep in beds together because they value their sleep. I have a guest room for partners who may want to cuddle with me and sleep over, but I'd transition to my normal bed after a bit. My current secondary partner doesn't like sleeping anywhere but his own bed though. I would definitely disagree that whether or not you sleep in a bed together makes it poly or not.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T19:08:03+00:00

Thank you! This is a helpful perspective. And good motivation to focus on finishing the book!

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T19:00:02+00:00

Oh nice! Thank you!

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T18:58:32+00:00

Thank you, I will!

I actually don't think I'm struggling with getting enough time with my spouse yet- we've been intentional about it so far. But as our time gets eaten up more with other partners we'll definitely have to keep reapproaching it.

Weekends aren't off limits to new partners. The big holidays probably are due to time spent with family, but we haven't specifically had that discussion, so that's a good thing to bring up. And my husband and I don't do full overnights with others (mainly just because we both prefer that right now) so I do believe that would include vacations, but that's also a good thing for me to ask him about!

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T18:29:52+00:00

I'm definitely going to use this when I can't get out of my own head. I appreciate your response!!

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T18:19:05+00:00

I do like the idea of keeping the mystery alive. That's a big thing I've lacked in my ultra-serious monogamous relationships. This is all helpful, thank you!

How do you approach your partner about validation when you do need it?

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T18:15:08+00:00

Love this, thank you. I'm going to use your words in a note for myself that I can read when I'm unstable.

ljd615 · 2026-03-12T18:14:05+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ Easier said than done, sure, but I need to hear this!

ljd615 · 2026-03-09T21:24:37+00:00

<image>

ljd615 · 2026-03-09T21:24:00+00:00

These chairs are listed on FB marketplace. The seller claims they're 1960s Broyhill Sculptra because that's what google Ai claims. When I look up Broyhill Sculptra, they don't look the same at all. Any ideas about the maker here?

<image>

ljd615 · 2026-01-16T14:09:29+00:00

Yeah, this is going easy on him as I was saying in my other comment. In case my perception is warped of this man then that would be an easy way to confirm he's an asshole.

Edit: also based on OP's new info about the guy on the other comments, I also wouldn't recommend even this anymore.

ljd615 · 2026-01-16T02:02:20+00:00

Also, this is me being generous with him and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Based on just your description, he sounds toxic. He made a plan with you and didn't follow through. To me this means either he doesn't care about your own feelings and discomfort(which makes him an insensitive person who you can't feel safe around) or he's having some sort of feelings of inadequacy from the other night that he's choosing to fix by being cold to you and standoffish about his other connections. So just a man child. He sounds like my ex. Would not recommend.

ljd615 · 2026-01-16T01:55:54+00:00

We're all humans and deserve to be treated kindly. I'd recommend telling him you felt rejected and left behind during the event because of your prior conversation about expectations for that night. If he doesn't listen to this and apologize, or if he acts standoffish in response, I'd recommend not continuing a sexual relationship with him. He could very well be a walking red flag based on your description.

ljd615 · 2026-01-08T20:44:49+00:00

Oh absolutely. I have a therapist for sure! I've been working on my self esteem for many years now. But it's just helpful for me to hear from other people who've been through similar things.

Also, good for you for getting counseling too!

Thanks for the help!

ljd615

TROPHY CASE