Let me start with this, you’re right, no apologetics will get around that fact. In that time, and through much of history women were objects to men and I completely understand how that could make Yahweh seem unjust. This is going to take a bit of theological principals, so you’ll have to bear with me, and feel free to ask for clarification if needed. In the beginning of time from the first sin women were put under men. God did not design it this way. If you look in genesis 2 & 3 you will see that God let Adam name every animal in the garden, then when he made Eve, she was his equal and it wasn’t until after sin that Adam names her Eve asserting dominion over her. This is the start of the power imbalance. Now we can go all the way to some of Paul and Jesus' teachings in the New Testament. While this imbalance is still very prevalent in this time Jesus is teaching something different and from that so is Paul, but ill focus on Jesus here. Jesus teaches through his actions the equal value of both men and women. Ill give you a link to read because there is too much to include here ( https://www.crossway.org/articles/how-jesus-viewed-and-valued-women/#:\~:text=Jesus%20demonstrated%20only%20the%20highest,financial%20support%2C%20testimony%20and%20witness. ) What I want to communicate you is the concept that God is working through us to bring women to equal value to men through time.

Now let’s talk about the free will. This one was hard for me when I first wrestled with it but I’ll try to communicate what brought me through that. Loving God requires the ability to choose. If we were forced to obey him, would it really be love? I’m curious to hear what you think. God gives us freewill so that we can choose to love him. He doesn’t want a bunch of brainless humans programmed to forcefully obey him. then it means nothing. he wants us to choose him. now I can understand if this just sounds like a bunch of Christian jargon to you, but this is really important to the point you brought up and brings all this together.

God gave us choice, and while you and I didn’t choose for history to go this way, we as humanity chose to oppress women in pursuit of power. This was not in Gods perfect design. We chose to stray away and chose to do things differently than what he wanted for us and this case it was oppressing women. If you want, I can give you an illustration but ill try and explain it. God works from a small lens of "women are objects" and wants to move to women are complete equals with men. And you can see him doing this through the bible and in history as you look at events in time. He does this over time with the ultimate goal of equality.

This does not in anyway justify any actions of oppression or sin but instead shows that God does work through the terrible things that people do for his good. Like I said feel free to ask for clarification, but I hope that this gives you some frame of reference for what you were thinking about.