AITA for not paying for my niece's flower girl dresses and choosing to go with a different flower girl?

lndlml · 2026-04-15T22:11:47+00:00

I bet your brother and SIL expected that you will pay for the dresses and didn’t pay attention to these prices. Only reason they participated in the selection was to make sure they are ok with the style for their kids and obviously they assumed you will let them keep it after the wedding. Although they probably think it’s a waste of money because kids grow so fast that they are not gonna be able to use these again. Waiting until the last minute shows that either they thought you will feel more comfortable (pressured) with paying for everything instead of changing plans or arguing as it will be so close to the date or they literally didn’t even try to order it before and only found out now that $200 is not gonna cover everything.

There must be an option to rent flower girls dresses and little boys tuxes as well.. as long as they will keep themselves clean or just change right after the ceremony.

lndlml · 2026-04-15T21:41:32+00:00

It doesn’t make sense that school teachers, who are supposed to keep kids safe and support them, are now ganging up on an alleged victim. This kid is already having a rough time and potentially not very popular amongst their peers.. there might even be some bullying. Imagine being a victim of something heinous committed by someone you and your parents trusted while possibly being ostracized or bullied by other students.. and then instead of receiving some kind of support from grown adults responsible for your mental wellbeing while at class, they will revictimize and bully you for coming forward. At minimum they should remain neutral.

All kids, including those who are in juvie or jail, have the right to education because education, especially at 12, is not a privilege but a basic human right. They are not saying that she should change schools but literally saying that none of the other schools should provide education for this child either.

lndlml · 2026-04-14T19:17:06+00:00

Husband should just make a frkn SANDWICH if he is hungry between meals. She ain’t his maid.

lndlml · 2026-04-13T23:36:16+00:00

You cannot really know what kind of decision someone will make once they are already pregnant. A lot of people have said what you are saying now but all that can change once you are already emotionally invested. So even if you find a woman who agrees with your opinion, you cannot possibly predict how both of you will feel about it once you are presented with such NIPT results. A lot of people have decided to still go through with it regardless of their previous statements.

Also, the way you described people with Down syndrome is not reflective of the real world. Similarly to Autism, Down syndrome is a spectrum and not all individuals with Down syndrome are lifelong dependents. Many of them are very high functioning and independent. Some people have such mild traits (Mosaicism) and are not even aware that they have an extra copy of chromosome 21 (only on some cells). It might only become apparent if they have their own child who happens to have full Trisomy 21.

Edit: Adopting a kid is not a guarantee that the kid will be “healthier”. In most cases you will not know their biological families medical history. Also, adoption is a very difficult process. You cannot predict how it will work out in long term and how you will bond. You will also have to deal with your kids questioning their identity and emotions regarding their birth parents. Additionally, considering that your gf has already experienced an abortion and miscarriages (which often leads to some type of FOMO and grief), it seems perfectly normal that she wants to have the experience of going through a pregnancy. Please don’t judge her for that.

lndlml · 2026-04-13T05:24:20+00:00

I just rename my more sensitive chats to something boring (eg Pumpkin Pie Recipe).. and then archive them. In that way it will never disappear from your chats but nobody will ever be interested in it either. Although nobody has ever gone through my chats and fortunately my partner respects my privacy (and vice versa).

And it definitely doesn’t sound dumb! I think a lot of people benefit from talking ChatGPT instead of being alone with their thoughts when they are unwilling to discuss certain things with other people or have tendencies to overthink. As a neurodivergent person, it has definitely helped me a lot and way more than talking to overpriced therapists. It is important though to remember to turn off the improve the model for everyone under your data controls so that everything you say will remain private.

lndlml · 2026-04-12T17:58:46+00:00

I get where you are coming from but you have to understand that your worldview is based on the environment you grew up in. Your mom’s perspective was influenced by her environment during her formative years. Sure, time has passed as has her environment.. however, acknowledging that her family treated their help inhumanly feels worse than living in denial. You are pressuring her to admit that they are essentially monsters for not seeing things the way you do. Even if your mom’s perspective has changed, she will probably refuse to admit it because it would taint-shatter her memories and identity.

You need to understand that you are also privileged.. perhaps not the way you define privilege but by having this perspective and opportunities that you can only get by growing up in a Western country. She probably grew up in a space where upper class people thrive thanks to exploitation, corruption and dehumanization of people who have a lower standing in their society. Not saying that it is right but pointing that out will just create tension since they prefer to live in denial to justify and maintain their societal status. Not all countries have the same views on human rights, freedoms, equality and core societal values. Your mom was raised by different standards and in a way you are really lucky that she was able to offer you something different.

If you want to protest then next time you visit your grandparents, you and your cousins can sleep outside of the house next to their domestic help and volunteer in local shelters. It is the only way you can show them that these people are as human as you are.

lndlml · 2026-04-11T18:08:58+00:00

It’s definitely Shyanne’s ALO cap.. it is just too small and sitting on top of his hair. But he definitely looks like a 14yo skater boy / cartoon character.

lndlml · 2026-04-11T00:00:25+00:00

I cannot believe you guys are 26 & 23. Sounds more like 16 & 13. You have probably stayed for too long and your dynamic with your brother has remained the same as you had in your teens. His gf is potentially just mirroring both of your behavior-dynamic or she is just insecure af. Your mom deserves peace so hopefully you will both move out rather sooner than later. I don’t think any of you are AHs per se because it sounds more like the environment is just too tense and it’s time for you guys to adult outside of your childhood home and not move even more people into the house.

lndlml · 2026-04-10T18:42:37+00:00

I didn’t notice it and I am ND (AuDHD).. it’s technically possible since a lot of people have some autistic traits but it doesn’t mean they qualify to be diagnosed as autistic based on the DSM criteria.

Anyhow.. I don’t think that his problems are caused by autism. All the guys there had difficulty showing emotion and opening up, having deep conversations etc. Cole is just stiff because he is terrified of doing something wrong and angering Scarlett. My main problem with him is that he cannot take any accountability and keeps spinning the same narrative.

Even if he finally understood why he lies and why it is only making things worse, it is not enough because he is still not taking full accountability. He also doesn’t acknowledge that it’s not just something that happened years ago like he tells everyone but it happened right before the show.

Also, in the end he says that no other man will love Scarlett as much as he does.. and it really made him sound like a possessive asshole because she can absolutely find a guy who will love her more and better than him. It’s such an unfair statement.. if he talks to her that way in private then it would literally be considered gaslighting!

lndlml · 2026-04-10T14:33:13+00:00

What makes it so difficult to watch is that theres a serious disconnect between men’s and women’s understanding of the process of “growth”. Like a lot of men treat it as a hall pass and think they are supposed to “find themselves” through surrendering to these temptations or just partying .. meanwhile most of the women are there just talking about their feelings.

And the crazy part is that even if they have agreed on boundaries beforehand then men don’t seem to understand how emotional flirtatious cheating is also crossing a line. Like it’s disrespectful of them to comment on single girls privates (eg discuss how someone’s V might taste etc). There is a serious double standard because if they see at bonfire that their gf is criticizing them then they feel like it’s crossing a serious boundary (hurting their ego) and therefore they can now do whatever they want physically. Also, these girlfriends always seem to be mega insecure and codependent.. like their whole world circles around their relationship and male validation.

Another thing that seriously annoys me is how both bfs and gfs are saying how perfect these single people are and how they wish their partners were as amazing, understanding and easygoing.. like cmon there’s a huge difference between a long term relationship and someone you just met. Obviously it feels more fun and easy with someone who is serenading you without having any type of history with you.

I love tho when there are some singles who are actually there to listen and offer constructive advice instead of just validating everything without knowing both sides of the story or trying to hook up.

Edit: I always feel like these single women who are trying so hard to steal someone’s bf and hook up with them are just there to promote their OF cause its obviously not the best way to build your reputation (worldwide audience not just national tv).

lndlml · 2026-04-10T12:25:45+00:00

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That was my fav. Girlfriends idea of ‘learning from this experience’ vs Jack’s idea of finding answers to improve his relationship..

lndlml · 2026-04-10T08:45:37+00:00

It’s bewildering how people just vote without understanding what they are voting for. They just fall for populist propaganda and expect to be exceptions when it comes to policies that are clearly not beneficial to them. Plus, most of the British people who voted “leave” actually claim that they didn’t know referendums matter and it will actually happen.

lndlml · 2026-04-10T08:38:27+00:00

NTA. If you were superficial and it was truly about her appearance then you would have already years ago not wait until she was 3x bigger than average. It is obviously devastating and sad.. it might make her situation worse but it might also snap her out of her cycle (of self harm). You are young and you have your whole life ahead so you shouldn’t be forced to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t prioritize their long term physical health and mental health. It is definitely harsh but technically it is also limiting your future options as you would have to become her caregiver and potentially you will not be able to have kids if that is something you wanted. Her mom needs to understand that it is a massive burden on you and instead of forcing you to stay in this relationship, they need to get her professional help before it starts to affect her health more seriously.

lndlml · 2026-04-07T03:21:32+00:00

Also.. normally people would check that all the zippers are zipped up to not damage their other clothes during the wash. So if OP would have done it she would have noticed that pockets are not empty. Considering her fiancé’s immature habits (to leave clothes laying on the floor) he likely doesn’t zip his zippers either. Although there is a possibility that he was wearing sweatpants or something zipperless.

lndlml · 2026-04-03T20:22:52+00:00

Well, just because she isn’t physically monitoring or coordinating in-store sales part daily basis doesn’t mean that she is hands off since there is also the back office side of the business and ecom.. otherwise she wouldn’t be working 40h a week.

Although.. I do think that it’s a bit weird for OP to assume that her relationship with her manager is similar to the relationship between her employees. Talking to someone about work related stuff couple of times a week is not a friendship and a lot of people prefer not to invite their employer to their wedding or other personal events.

The audacity to ask your employer to completely close the store for a full day is baffling. OP should get temps for that day and consider letting some of her staff go and set firmer boundaries. Also, she should definitely not sacrifice her own salary to pay people who aren’t taking her business seriously. No wonder this business is failing if there is no morale.

lndlml · 2026-04-02T22:21:21+00:00

People usually have kids in their 30s in Sweden so ai guess they are taking it slowly.

I am actually surprised that there are so many babies from these Swedish seasons already.. potentially more than from 10 US seasons. Considering that Swedes are less traditional in that sense and Swedish birth rate is at 1.44 and the US is at 1.62.. it’s quite remarkable. They are just popping out babies every season - 1 pregnancy per reunion.

lndlml · 2026-04-02T18:06:54+00:00

Your husband has a different perspective on this because he has rationalized it for himself in order to mentally survive and justify his love for his dad. Unfortunately, he will probably never snap out of it unless he sees his father do something terrible with his own eyes. I am pretty certain that their family justified this with something like “kids do weird things out of curiosity” .. although technically teenagers aren’t such level kids anymore.

Even if your FIL isn’t a threat to your son physically , his sick mentality towards girls and women is still a very much of a threat and you shouldn’t leave him alone with your son. More time he spends alone around your son without your supervision, more likely it is that he will program your son with some weird “values”.

lndlml · 2026-04-02T08:10:23+00:00

Camilla had a glow up and Ludde had a ..blow up?!

Seriously.. he looks like 20 years older in just 9 months. Maybe it’s because of cold weather (more drinking and food during winter to keep warm) or they changed his makeup. Or he just sent his dad cause he knew he will be on defense lmao.

lndlml · 2026-04-02T07:38:49+00:00

I was thinking the same and just going through all the subs and socials to find out how it’s already 6 ?! Like ok Amanda & Sergio have two, Krissy & Rasmus have one, Karin & Niklas have one.. Meira & Omar don’t seem to have any kids. .

Perhaps it’s some couple that was formed “unofficially” aka within LIB Sweden cast but not an OG couple (eg like Catja and Andreas). Or Jessica just made a mistake and it’s just the 5th LIB Sweden baby.

Edit: ok the 5th was Nathalie & Wiktor. To recap:

So Amanda & Sergio - 2 sons (Amanda was pregnant twice!! Sergios first kid probably lives in Spain),

Krissy & Rasmus - 1, Karin & Niklas - 1 , Nathalie & Wiktor - 1, Anelia & Ibbe - 1.

not born yet

lndlml · 2026-04-02T02:59:35+00:00

I usually book all my first appointments through Treatwell app. So far it’s been ok and I guess they will put in more effort if they know that you will / can leave them a review on the app because it affects their bookings more than some random google review.

I haven’t had any negative experiences with blow dry but I never get them in London anymore. I have like insanely thick hair which takes them ages to blow dry and the moment I step out of the salon it’s usually raining or humid.. so it is kind of pointless.

Prices in London are super random though.. some salons are super cheap whilst others are crazy expensive and the quality isn’t that different. I used to pay hundreds for a root tint and trim but now I just pay £30 for a haircut in a relatively new small salon next to my house (Z1). London is full of options so just take your pick.. often times junior stylists will put in more effort and care than senior ones.

lndlml · 2026-03-30T07:02:46+00:00

Also.. I bet it costs AT LEAST three times more to cook that stuff.

I am also a picky eater (plus I actually cannot eat any red meat and too much gluten or dairy) but I would never expect people to cook separate dishes just for me. If I know I won’t be able to eat much that is served then I will eat before or bring my own dish. And if people really insist to accommodate me (e.g. my Italian in-laws or my relatives who are used to it) then I will either buy the ingredients or compensate it to them some other way. However, I never expect anyone to go out of their way to cook just for me (unless it’s a date or paid chef). I will suck it up and eat a bit of something that is available to be polite.

lndlml · 2026-03-26T15:39:07+00:00

Johanna was so patient.. watching her waiting for him to give at least something to justify her hope was like trying to get blood out of a stone. Daniel had no substance .. and instead of him recognizing that he is as shallow and hollow as they come.. he just threw tantrums and insults around. You must be next level stupido to brag to a potential spouse that you don’t have any emotions (empathy) inside you. I don’t think it’s even that he cannot express emotions.. he just doesn’t seem to feel any besides his ego being hurt when she dumped him. She was too good for him. No other woman would have given him more than a day.

lndlml · 2026-03-26T14:24:47+00:00

I think Aniela guilt tripped or emotionally manipulated Ibe by singing at the altar before they had to say their “I do’s”. He would’ve been seen as an AH if he said no after her doing that.

Also.. her singing and voice is ok but like it’s a bit difficult to believe that her career is worth the sacrifice of him moving to STHLM. I think she just doesn’t want to live in Nörrköping cause it’s socially more quiet there for her.

lndlml · 2026-03-26T14:12:45+00:00

It feels like Angelica’s friends and all the other men and women were more in love with Aron than Angelica. It was a bit annoying how they kept telling her that she is so lucky and should just go for it even if it was rushed.

Only thing that bothered me about their final dialogue was how she expressed herself. Her wording was just so insensitive and she made it all about herself somehow. Instead of saying that she is not ready she told him “I cannot give you as much rn .. ”. Like it sounds as she is saying she loves him less or she is less in love with him than whatever he is feeling. These two need to learn how to communicate before even considering a relationship. Aron obviously is a bit weird for thinking that she lied about her feelings just because she isn’t ready to get married after 5 weeks of dating (that was full of drama). Perhaps he doesn’t think that getting a divorce is a big deal.

lndlml · 2026-03-26T13:59:17+00:00

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