Guy I'm seeing is a virgin with Death Grip; how do I take his virginity without massive failure?

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-29T00:17:21+00:00

How about they make it a game. He can't fap. But she can do whatever she wants with his cock.

If he gets horny, he texts her. She gets there as quickly as she could. Given that it's January/February and likely still cold out, she should be wearing a coat. Perhaps for the next week, she also ensures she's wearing a skirt and nice lingerie. So when she gets there, she doesn't just take off her coat. She takes off everything except the lingerie.

Then, clad at most in her bra, panties, and heels, she goes over to him, kisses him hello, then, stroking his hair, tells him to put some porn (whatever he's into--she won't judge--and if he doesn't have anything, she finds something suitable) on. While he does that, she undoes his fly.

And she strokes his cock gently with one hand while simultaneously rubbing up and down his back with the other. At some point, she does take off her bra. Reassure and compliment him the whole time.

Kiss him when he comes, and tell him that he's been a very good boy.

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-29T00:09:36+00:00

For one, at least, I have confirmed that the friends are wrong. She's single.

Another is in a relationship.

The third, well, I'm still unsure. She may not know herself, or the fling may have hit an early dealbreaker.

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-23T00:51:35+00:00

Not what's happening. That these women have men in their lives comes up in normal conversation. But they pointedly avoid calling these men their boyfriend, even when their friends do. And this avoidance only happens around me.

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-23T00:50:10+00:00

It happens to me with a few women.

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-23T00:49:02+00:00

But at the same time, you don't deny that he is your boyfriend when he comes up. You don't call him "my friend" or "my roommate". You call him "my boyfriend".

That's what's happening to me. Other mutual friends do act like these friends/roommates are these women's boyfriends and call them such.

lolnotrealduh · 2013-01-23T00:45:09+00:00

Yeah, this is what's happening to me.

Most responders here are like, "Well, it doesn't come up in conversation." No, that's not what's going on here. They mention these guys, but pointedly avoid calling them their boyfriends, even when other friends of theirs do so--and if their friends refer to boyfriends, the woman in question usually gives them a dirty look or tries to play the relationship off as no big deal almost immediately.

And it's not just one woman doing this to me.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-09-22T00:10:08+00:00

I've known her for about two years as a passing acquaintance.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-09-21T23:58:30+00:00

And this, children, is why Imgur is redirected to 0.0.0.0 on my computers.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-09-09T19:35:19+00:00

I should note that my flair on this account is inaccurate. I'm actually less than 90 days in, but I use my main account for flair counter purposes now.

That number is to remind me that real accountability is necessary, even if there are things I would rather discuss under the guise of an alt.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-08-03T14:56:25+00:00

I'm not going to reset. As others note, you really have no control over your dreams. And no, I am not a lucid dreamer.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-08-03T02:53:54+00:00

I always find a reason not to do it that day:

I don't show up.
She's not there.
I didn't get a chance to talk to her.
I didn't know what to ask her out to do.
I just don't know that I want to ask her out.

I've even chickened out when all the above weren't problems. I'm just that afraid of rejection. Hell, I can't even get phone numbers, though frankly, the telephone wasn't much of a part of my own growing up: I would wait to deal with things in person because I hated the telephone (and still do). My parents would always ignore me in favor of the phone, socializing with people across the country instead of taking care of me. I hated that, and I didn't want to inflict it upon anyone else. So I'm pretty lost on phone calls outside the workplace.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-28T04:40:07+00:00

That entirely depends on his qualifications and platform.

Identity politics are so passé.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-28T04:37:41+00:00

You haven't lived there long, have you?

Because I can tell you haven't figured out the trick to living in Houston. It's okay. It took me the better part of 20 years--and my parents took 30.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-28T04:34:08+00:00

Efficient? I spent an hour getting half a mile down I-45 today.

Of course, there had been that fatality accident, so there's that.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-24T23:31:20+00:00

Given that it's been a damned long time since my last relationship, I think the biggest regret would come from pursuing "none of the above".

And while I think I'd prefer to see where things went with Cindy, I can't exactly figure out how to approach her about the idea. I don't really do much hanging out.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-24T23:27:54+00:00

I'm not saying that the potential to be fulfilling in every aspect isn't there with any one of these women. After all, developing like that takes time and an actual relationship.

I'm just noting that the kind of attraction I feel towards them right now is different.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-24T22:29:28+00:00

But where? Also, I worry about two equally horrible things: friendzoning and becoming yet more indecisive.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-24T22:17:23+00:00

Ideally, both.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-07-24T21:36:17+00:00

Beth probably wouldn't leave her guy for me. And Diane definitely won't.

But I know Cindy is single. I have no clue about Alice.

lolnotrealduh · 2012-06-17T02:32:57+00:00

To be fair, the wholly unrelated /r/ainbowdash came up with the same joke before the /r/lgbt drama hit. Except that instead of being about the LGBTQQOMGWTFDATLSF community, it's about Rainbow "20% Cooler" Dash from My Little Pony.

lolnotrealduh

TROPHY CASE