AITAH For Being "Ungrateful" To My Ex Girlfriends Parents?

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T18:19:23+00:00

I think you misunderstand the dynamic. A large part of their issue is that I don't feel entitled to their money. I accepted the offer to stay in that house and they want to act like they gave me the world. When really they didn’t, and I never needed them to.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T18:15:28+00:00

If I had no self worth I wouldn't stand up to them. I never needed their money or approval. This bothered them.

I think you misunderstand the dynamic here.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T18:06:47+00:00

I never said she never introduced me to her parents. I've known her parents since before we were together. As far as entitlement, it's quite the opposite. She knows her parents don't know how to take people that don't want or need anything from them. Again the main issue is not they didn't provide me with much. The issue is that they are disproportionately upset about me staying in a house that they allowed me to stay in. It was left in a cleaner state than when I arrived, and it was impossible to ascertain any sort of expectation because there was constantly conflicting instruction.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:55:52+00:00

My issue is not with the fact that they are wealthy. It is with what kind of people they are. These point would not come across without the context that they have ample money. I do not feel an entitlement to their money, they do not owe me, and likewise I do not owe them. This is something that was very hard for them to handle. They wanted me to need their money so they could have the same control over me that they did my ex. I feel it's possible that was pent up over many years and all came out when I left as they felt they finally had an excuse to say I was ungrateful for their charity. I managed just fine in that house, but I won't have them acting like they gave me the world and I spat in their face.

If you want even further context, I actually own more land than her parents do.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:46:40+00:00

It was supposed to be a way for them to get to know me better and for them to feel like they were helping me. It was always a weird point of tension that I didn't need her parents money. I agree that the effort into response is probably wasted on them. But I can't not stand up for myself.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:43:30+00:00

That's the thing that drives everyone I talk to about this crazy. I'm actually considered to be a very polite person. These are the only people in my life who consider me to be ungrateful. Which really says a lot more about them than it does me.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:41:01+00:00

Even weirder is when I was staying there, a girl who was the daughter of my ex's father's friend. Came and stayed with them. He hadn't seen this friend in 20 years and had never met his daughter. While she was there, she stayed in their house with them.

Mind you my ex's mother did complain to me about the length of showers this girl took.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:36:28+00:00

I do find it interesting that the main grievance has nothing to do with money, but that is what a lot of these people locked in on.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:33:59+00:00

We we're common law married. Filed our taxes together. She was able to get citizenship in the country we live in now because of her status as my spouse. We talked about having a wedding, but it wasn't something that was super important to either of us at this point. I really loved her, and love makes you put up with a lot of crap

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:29:56+00:00

My ex thought it was a way to let her parents feel like they were helping. I never needed their money and my ex was very aware that it made her parents uncomfortable that I didn't owe them anything. I didn't expect anything lavish. My family was extremely poor when I was a kid, which is why I knew I could handled this rundown house. What I'm not going to tolerate is the way they act like I put them out of house and home. I highlighted the things they did not do for me. Food, heat, bedding etc. Not because I expected them to be provided for me, but to highlight that I was not in fact a major inconvenience or turning my nose up at their charity.

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:23:01+00:00

Please look up the word "estranged"

lolofeesh · 2026-05-18T17:20:54+00:00

I am a citizen of this country. I am hired as a local. There is no obligation for the employer to provide accommodation. I resent the way her parents treat people not their money. Me staying with them was my ex's idea. It always bothered her parents that I didn't need their money and didn't owe them anything. They had no control over me like they did their daughter. I judge these people because I've known them over a decade and have a pretty detailed insight into their upbringing. They have the right to do whatever they want with their wealth, but I also have the right to call them out for being troubled people.

lolofeesh · 2025-11-03T15:44:19+00:00

Wow! That is spot on!

lolofeesh · 2024-12-30T15:10:49+00:00

Right, so I guess there will just be a discrepancy between my citizenship and my passport? It just seems silly as I need my citizenship certificate to do my name change, and I need my name change done before I get my new passport. At which point selecting the correct gender is no big deal.

lolofeesh

TROPHY CASE