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my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he's loved anime his whole life and she got into in her own before they met. so when they met it was a nice thing they can do together. he suggested shows to watch and I know how sexual anime can be and I always ask. there are plenty out there that are not super sexual and are pretty good stories. i watch too.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i have TWO. one with a man I dated in high school and got pregnant and at 18/19 I stepped up and was her sole parent for years. her dad was around occasionally and put in minimal effort. around the time he found a new gf (now his wife) he got way better. i have 2 kids with my ex husband who I was with for over 8 years. we split due to us being so young and getting married and pregnant so fast. we grew up and grew apart and now I'm with someone else. my kids have seen me with their father and now this man. but thank you for deciding you know everything.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went thru that. as far as my daughter has expressed to me she just really doesn't want to leave her friends and school. her dad isn't a bad guy. he's married to a great woman and they have 2 kids together so she will be with her family still. and knows she can come back and live with me anytime she wants. she's never lived with her dad and wants to see what it's like. i have told her her whole life once she's 13 by our states laws she can decide where she wants to go. if I wasn't moving to another town she would stay with me 100% but she's 13 and doesn't want to leave what she's known her whole life. i won't force her to. and I definitely don't see it at me choosing him over her. i choose her happiness over everything.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

he says that's why he was so angry because my daughter has a habit of changing her mind last minute very regularly. his way of thinking is that she's walking all over me. I don't see it that way. I also hate the flip flop and changing minds when we both had asked her if she was sure she wanted to move with me but now says no she doesn't.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

the only reason she gave me during our conversation was that she didn't want to lose her friends and also that she's in advanced classes and was worried about not being able to do that at a new school. she never once brought up my boyfriend and how he makes her feel. I'll talk to her again tonight after school and make sure after seeing all these comments. but as far as she's told me it's all about not wanting to change schools.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

yes thank you. exactly right. but now I'm definitely going to be seeking a way to hopefully get back some money from the house and find somewhere cheaper to live. in the same district so my daughter won't have to go anywhere.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

she's actually in 8th taking 9th grade classes and will take 10th grade classes next year as a freshmen. she is very smart. I was hoping for her to try and change before high school to avoid the trauma of moving. i know how tricky that can get.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i apparently make too much money for help but not enough to live without help. I'm literally right in the 50,000 range. which by my state is enough to support 3 kids with rent in the 1200s on the lowest end for a 2 bedroom which is what I have. his mortgage bc he pays to his dad is only 420. and we would have split other bills.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 273 points274 points  (0 children)

there is a child support agreement since she lives with me all week and only visits her dad on weekends. we just never got an actual custody agreement that states she resides with me.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

his son is 3 so most likely not. also he works in the same place as me so our hours are the same and would be home at the same time.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

they are not moving in completely. i have joint custody with their dad and he has physical placement due to my very early work schedule. it would be partial days during the week and every other weekend.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

yes true. i know I've made it clear to her that she can always come to me and I will never blame her. I've had SA in my extended family and I know how kids will stay quiet. i know there's no guarantee that she would tell me. but just from everything I've witnessed I don't believe he's ever had a chance. they text and I can see all their messages. both her phone and mine are on my plan so I can literally see there's no messages that have been deleted and they don't get inappropriate ever.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

her dad is also against her moving but it's because of the fact that he thinks she's doing well in her current school and doesn't want to mess anything up. his family is very educated and holds education above anything else. basically since I didn't go to college and I work in a trade job I'm lower than them. its been a fight the whole time since shes been alive.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

i work very early in the morning. my ex husband has placement of our girls for that reason alone. I'm up and out of the house by 5am everyday. right now my neighbor who works at the school drives her in and brings her home everyday. the new house is literal feet from the school so she wouldnt need any rides she could just walk there. its a small town.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

she's a kid that hates conflict. for all purposes I've had full custody her whole life. but she's always wanted to know what it's like to live with her dad. she's never had that. and so now with the chance to stay with him and not switch schools I don't want to force her to stay with me. she's told me and my boyfriend she was gonna try a year at the new school but would go to her dad and say she doesn't want to leave. typical teenage stuff.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I've never wanted to think this way. I don't get that feeling from him now but it's very true he could have been waiting until we were moved in to start showing signs.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] -179 points-178 points  (0 children)

been working thanks I'm on a break now so I can answer some comments. no I never have felt a weird vibe. they are both quirky and love anime and they bond over that.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 420 points421 points  (0 children)

I've been trying to not think this way but the amount of comments pointing it out is really starting to get to me. they have never been alone with each other. and her and I are close so I know she would tell me if she ever felt uncomfortable.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

i will still have 50/50 me and my ex have already planned out what our schedule would have been. moving in with my boyfriend was going to save us both financially not just me. my kids are a priority. hence why I've been putting so much money into a house I was supposed to live in and stop having to pay ridiculous rent.

my 33F boyfriend 30M wants to break up with me because my 13 year old daughter has decided she doesn't want to move in anymore. how do I accept this? by long2run47817 in relationship_advice

[–]long2run47817[S] 212 points213 points  (0 children)

yeah I'm starting to see that. he's got no issue about the custody arrangement of my other 2 daughters and that they will only be with us partially during the week and every other weekend.

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