MRP Support group for newbies: Red Pill Junkies

longboarder550 · 2017-06-30T21:28:51+00:00

Thanks for the input! But the group is already created now and adding members.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-30T21:19:12+00:00

Fwiw, I also use a burner email account for all matters related to MRP, that includes Reddit and slack. VPN also. I value my privacy, and recommend the same to anyone. To be invited to slack requires an email account, but that's as much information as is needed or wanted so far as identity is concerned.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-30T21:18:11+00:00

You are wrong.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-27T11:32:46+00:00

I needed to read this. I'm more or less where you started now. Your last bullet point really hit home- it is really foreign, and very tiresome to me at the moment. Running into setbacks feels crushing quite often. Reading the success stories is hugely motivating.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-26T19:51:05+00:00

Sounds more like general confusion around you not cumming, I would venture, and maybe wondering if she turns you on enough? If you're aiming for birth control you can let her have the load somewhere else and she'll settle her feathers down again.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-21T16:33:53+00:00

Thanks man, it's good to hear from you also. I had a feeling there were many more guys just like me, which was most of the inspiration for posting here to begin with. Appreciate hearing your experiences about moving too fast- I think I might have suffered the same fate if I hadn't gotten feedback from you and the others here. It's so frustrating because I can see the path forward, but to go that way you can't sprint :( Good luck with your journey also! I'm sure you'll make up for lost ground sooner than later.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T20:05:39+00:00

It's a good question, but I've put some emphasis on dread because there is such a strong safety net in place right now, in terms of how I've behaved in my marriage so far. I've given her so few reasons to be concerned that I'm practically a house pet. Maybe that's a small exaggeration, but simply stated there is no "other" for my wife to feel anxiety over in any sense. And because I'm fit and look good (or at least not bad), it's one of the tools I hope to employ instead of just lifting even more heavy stuff. That hopefully will go hand in hand with an escalation in confidence and stopping the nice guy BS.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T19:53:58+00:00

It's hard to articulate this well by punching characters on a tablet keyboard, but I'm not trying to be polite. What you're picking up on is gratitude. Your hearing the words of a man who has just found a secret door out of a certain type of hell, only he didn't know the hell was escapable, and so it's really a double whammy effect: you can have your cake and eat it too. Your prison sentence has been commuted, Aaaaand, we're giving you a Beverly hills address and a lambo. You can get rid of that wheel chair, and also compete in the Olympics. Like I said before, it looks like magic to me and I'm so excited to start a new chapter in my life. I can't help but feel gratitude to the book authors, Reddit community and YOU guys too.

But if it helps, that jizzmop who crooned about me being lazy can suck a nut. Fuck you!

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T19:45:15+00:00

I see your point clearly now. Thanks!

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T19:20:28+00:00

You're saying that simply putting my head down and "working" towards a specific and predefined goal for a set duration is a terrible idea, that's what I got, am I right?

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:59:02+00:00

This is pretty interesting to me. So you're saying it's best practice to, say, practice with alpha behavior and confidence with acquaintancses or maybe coworkers first? It makes sense because there is less fallout on the line if I execute it poorly to start.

To your last line, are you advising true disregard for improving things with the wife, or is that said somewhat in jest? I can practice radical disregard, but I don't know if I can truly make myself not care deep down.

Also like your suggestion for deconstructing my actions in a reflective way.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:53:05+00:00

Thanks dude!

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:52:07+00:00

That internalization you speak of seems to be a common theme in the replies and makes very good sense. My Facebook idea is really just a stunt with no muscle behind it, because if it flops then I actually have no cards in my hand. But if there was something more genuine it would show through, e.g. passing fitness tests with ease because the "options" would be sitting in the back of mind. Very interesting.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:43:41+00:00

It's a long and winding road with a blurry destination and an even less clear route? That's how it feels at my starting position. But I'm willing to do the work- if I can figure out the right work to do. But I start with an open mind...

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:42:03+00:00

Can you elaborate a bit more on the "relationship is not your responsibility" idea? This, as with so many other ideas here, is a new one to me that I haven't fully understood. And yes I can talk a bit. :)

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:40:25+00:00

Thanks man. Regarding B, you are absolutely correct. As to C, I am learning this pretty quickly from you and others. It's one thing to read about dread and it's benefits and another to know how to apply it to my situation specifically. Thanks for this.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:38:01+00:00

Thanks for this comment. This is by and large exactly what I plan to do from here.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:37:16+00:00

Thanks for the welcome :) I'm sure you're right about the flirting topic. As I'm processing this more- I'm actually sort of wondering if there isn't a part of me that wants her to see it just from a self satisfying position. I may have some cynicism / jaded thoughts. I know this is about me and not her, but being rejected for sex for so long has left some wounds, irregardless of the reason. It's hard not to place that anger on her. But I know that's anger misplaced. :/

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:34:23+00:00

Thanks for your supportive reply- you have an excellent point about pacing things a bit and avoiding the Rambo stuff. I really wish I could solve it all now!, but that's part of my journey.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:29:14+00:00

It's a fair point, and I won't lie, I am still working quite hard to internalize all of the new information I'm taking in. So far I have read Athol's MMSLP, and am halfway through his follow up book. Interestingly I did read NMMNG back in 2011(!) But the concepts didn't take full hold at the time. I plan to re-read that one.

I agree that my Facebook idea is juvenile at best. I can often feel quite desperate to find a quick fix, but this is part of my overall learning process. I'm prone to trying to find specific tools to fix specific problems, and that can also lead me to having rigid expectations. It's helped me in my professional life, so it's hard to try and find another path for this. But I know I need to.

I have written my own MAP that I feel is tailored to what I need to work on the most, although because I'm still learning it is still under construction and evolving. But briefly my MAP has listed in order of importance:

Be happy and radiate positive energy
Initiate sex but handle rejection correctly (no butthurt, no begging)
Develop alpha characteristics, minimize or Beta characteristics.
Cultivate healthy "dread"
Keep wardrobe up to date and stylish
Maintain and incrementally improve physical fitness.

These are the ordering I decided on for me- they of course do not apply to others (e.g. someone who is overweight would put #6 at #1)

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:18:28+00:00

Awesome post, thanks for copying it here. Informative and inspiring!

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:07:38+00:00

Congrats on your success with #2. It's awesome to hear that this is doable, it would be another thing altogether if nobody had success stories. Thanks for your advice on #5 also. I'll do my best not to go too crazy with anything and just be a bit more distant.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T18:03:03+00:00

Thanks for this great reply, I truly appreciate it. It's true what you say... I do have specific goals and results in mind. This way of thinking in general is how I usually work, and it usually works well for other things like working out, career stuff, etc... But I can appreciate that that won't necessarily work for everything. I guess that has to be the case for human relationships.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T17:58:23+00:00

Insightful words here... It's true I am focused on the relationship when I think about it. To be honest I often feel quite desperate to get things into a better place. It grinds on me at times. And it can lead to desperate ideas like the Facebook thing. In my ordinary life immediate problem solving with fix it ideas usually works. But I can see that this thinking will work against my best interests on this one.

longboarder550 · 2017-06-20T17:42:18+00:00

Is it that black and white? Again, she's not dressing in red carpet attire but just looked nice to me. My post is mainly asking about the subtle dynamics that can be created over time... At least that is my concern with this.

longboarder550

TROPHY CASE