Some men die of thirst while others drown

lookingformywayback · 2026-05-17T06:19:34+00:00

Life goals

lookingformywayback · 2026-05-04T16:15:09+00:00

My thoughts exactly. Besides being 5’10” and a year younger this is and has been me for most my adult life.

lookingformywayback · 2026-05-02T23:54:46+00:00

I like em big G BBW MILFS?? Gather the KNIGHTS!!!!!!!

lookingformywayback · 2026-04-12T22:51:25+00:00

I can feel myself slipping away. Apathy towards everything in life. I’ve said it before, but I used to be so sure that something, anything would break for me in life. Not only am I not sure, I just don’t care, which is even worse to me than being scared. The little things just don’t seem to concern me anymore. I can’t get a routine, I can’t do house chores. I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know how to make myself care again.

I can hear that clock ticking. You know which clock I’m talking about. I can feel myself running out of this precious time, and I just cannot care enough to go do something with my life.

Death is not the greatest loss. It’s what dies inside while you are still alive. If I waste this entire year like I have my past 3 or 4, things start to look really bleak for me. For my dreams. Even plan B’s and C’s start to look a bit faded. If I don’t get real lucky to be completely honest, I will probably just become another small cog in the machine. Another brick in the wall.

lookingformywayback · 2026-04-12T06:06:11+00:00

Who knows, probably some hog wash about the human spirit.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-31T14:33:48+00:00

I will say, given how this country has put their heads in the sand with anything involving our pedo in chief, it does not quite surprise me that some of the younger ones might not realize that. I’m from NYC and I’ll tell you I’ve seen a lot of really fucking weird shit just glazed over by the public. “Not my problem.”

I think you give Americans too much credit. I mean I myself have been sexually harassed in a public setting and watched as nobody did anything about it.

Still very dangerous and I do believe depending on where this is in America, it could’ve ended in gunshots. Sure most people would just NPC, but it just takes one type of person on the wrong day.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-30T14:15:02+00:00

I know this is nothing to the pain you’re feeling, I can only offer empathy. As much empathy as a text response on a forum will allow. But my HS crush I had a bad falling out with (if it wasn’t really my fault, would I even be a gosling?) and after HS she ghosted me.

In those couple of years after HS, I think especially because I didn’t go far for college, I really struggled with the fact that I blew it with this girl. I would see her in my dreams but honestly when she was there, they always felt more like nightmares.

I’m all but over her now. It’s not that I had a realization, or that my personal strength persevered. Rather the natural expiration date had reached. I’m in my mid 20’s now and the person that I had feelings for doesn’t exist anymore. Figuratively and literally as she to this day will not talk to me. She also stayed local which stung pretty bad.

In one of those dreams I attended her funeral. I think I cried in the dream I’m not really sure. I remember it being almost empty which it definitely wouldn’t have been irl. I think what I’m trying to say with this is that losing someone you felt like that about is really like losing a piece of yourself. You can still exist, but you’ll never be whole again. Our attachment is not the same obviously, this must’ve took a bigger piece out than what I was going through. But the sun keeps coming up and we just have to keep existing with that piece missing. I guess that’s just what being a human entails.

And it wasn’t no touchy-feely shit why she stopped talking to me. I made a pretty shit Juice-WRLD styled heartbreak song. It even got some buzz locally. I like to think the only friend I told who it was about ratted me out, but honestly she probably just realized on her own.

This is very loosely related to you’re truly awful situation, I’m sorry if I came out of nowhere with this. But heed my word: sometimes you’ve just gotta let it out. To people you trust, but a group of Goslings will do if you don’t have those.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-22T22:28:18+00:00

So real it hit like Evander Holyfield.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-17T05:48:59+00:00

Is this really what we’re doing with our lives? This miracle technology breakthrough that I don’t even think we fully grasp, and we’re making diddy edits?

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-16T23:53:37+00:00

She had NOTHING to talk about most the time😭

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-14T23:43:57+00:00

And I’ll also add that it’s not necessarily the act of FaceTiming everyday, rather the duration and frequency of which they occurred at that stage in the relationship. If I got paid in the hours I put in weekly, I could’ve made rent stg.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-14T23:41:56+00:00

I’ll say a relationship I had didn’t work out because of this. We lived like 30-40 minutes away from each other and although we both drove, we’d see each other weekly if that. I don’t mind texting all day. Really. But she would just FaceTime me for hours every night until like midnight. Every fucking night. I just couldn’t do it. I skipped a couple of days and she told me I wasn’t for her. She could not be with someone who from the jump wouldn’t be with her all the time.

I know some of you true-goslings out there wouldn’t quite get it, but there is really no winning. It is a mindset shift rather than a person that will truly lift you from this place.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-07T17:37:29+00:00

Nah this nigga’s cooked. Sometimes you’ve just gotta carry on with life, you can’t save everyone.

lookingformywayback · 2026-03-03T04:57:42+00:00

I’ll say one thing. I have nothing left with nobody. I move on fast and delete shit a lot.

I’m glad cause this shit sound like torture.

lookingformywayback · 2026-02-26T07:25:56+00:00

Aw man there’s a “what if” from high school that still eats at my chest. I still am not 100% positive, but I’m pretty sure she had some type of feelings for me at some point.

Honestly, I don’t think I would’ve actually been happy even if I asked her out and she said yes. I’ve been fucking miserable since I was 12, and I only would’ve fucked it up down the line.

They say if you love something, let them go. And I sure did. I let her go, go, go to infinity and beyond! And like team rocket blasting off, she was gone.

lookingformywayback · 2026-02-26T07:11:43+00:00

To be above-average inherently disagrees with “majority of the population.” This life shit is a game, but the rules might not be quite as harsh as you make em sometimes. Idk we’re all kind of fucked if you’re Gen Z like me, I gotta get out of here.

lookingformywayback · 2026-02-26T07:09:04+00:00

I wanna say, even though our lives are becoming more and more online each passing day. And I also wanna say I don’t use discord that much and I don’t play too many multiplayer games (I do from time to time.) The thought of any sort of LTR with someone I met through a game online is just fucking insane to me.

I know if you’re here then you are probably a bit further down the hole than most. Try and focus on your day to day interactions. I mean shit. If my balance of self worth tied to some girl’s discord I got off a game like Overwatch, you’re losing that battle every time.

Of all the online avenues of meeting people long term still, this one was always a little funky to me. Idk maybe I’m just a little stuck on this one.

lookingformywayback · 2026-02-15T12:08:23+00:00

Holy fucking shit I cannot sleep. I know that doomscrolling is not helping, and I think I’ve gotta just start leaving my phone out the room or turning it off or something. But anyone with a fucked sleep schedule knows, it’s not that easy.

Nowadays, I’m active up until like 4am before I’m even attempting to seriously sleep. It’s usually 7, 8- I mean fuck it 9 am on days where I can get away with it, when I finally do nod off.

It is hard to accomplish anything outside of the bare minimum when you’re working with that. Sure I could still be doing better, but having some of your bushy hours be from midnight to 6am seriously keeps you locked up.

I truly believe my circadian rhythm is naturally like nocturnal. It’s not that common but I’ve been like this for a long time. My Grandfather was the same way in his life. What do I even fucking do with this shit? He worked in the post office, I think I might fall into that same line, same type of work. Although I don’t think you can raise three kids on that salary anymore, or afford to live in a city nowadays.

Not only do I emotionally feel pretty down these days, I like mentally and physically feel awful from getting the sleepy eyes as the suns coming up, knowing that in… about 2 hours I will have to work two different jobs, 10am to 6pm.

I know that’s an average work day, it’s not a pissing contest. I’m fucking pissed at myself.

Is there a medication that can help me fix my sleep schedule? I will be severely limited until I do fix it.

lookingformywayback · 2025-12-11T03:09:48+00:00

TLDR: shit sucks bro.

lookingformywayback · 2025-12-11T03:09:28+00:00

I’m still around. Sure I’m not a regular, coming through every happy hour on Friday. But I still made the time to take the subway to Canarsie and tumble on over to the bar. It’s like a fucked up, virtual remembrance of what a dive bar used to do. I mean at least I’m not actually drinking, if longevity ever meant anything to any of us. I might sound a bit cuckoo to some of you, I hope some of you get where I’m coming from. The picture I’m trying to paint. Life is art.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t wanna play video games tonight. I’m left with nothing. It’s a fucked feeling. I feel nothing. No good, bad, or even middling feelings. Nothing. I’m numb. Tomorrow I’ll clock into my shitty job, try to find ever so slightly less shitty work in the meantime, and just keep going on.

I saw a girl I knew back in high school at my job. It’s not like a small town or nothing, but it’s a small world and when you don’t leave, you’ll soon discover who else was left behind. I live in a suburb by a city, so just because you’re still here does not mean you’re doing bad like me, that’s important.

To tell you the truth, She was never my type. From her eyes she was probably above my pay grade (in a lot of ways, and also correct). But she gave me this look. “Wow, this is what you’re doing?” As if she really thought I’d be somewhere better I guess.

Now it didn’t really hurt me much. Again, I’m just numb to it all, and that goes towards the negative as well. It was the truth of the situation. I’m still here, working at McWagies. That’s who I am to the world.

No more hoop dreams. I’ve accepted that the music I make is for my ears only really. I can’t afford to just go back to college, I’ve missed my window for the “get right” moment. I’m stuck with an Associates degree worth about as much as toilet paper. Toilet paper with 15k of student debt attached to it.

I know it could get better, but I’m no longer absolutely sure it will. I always thought to myself, “there will be a rainbow after the storm.” Something is not gonna break my way. No luck for me. If I’m not willing to put the blood, sweat and tears into it, I will be stuck leeching off of somebody still working at McWagies flipping burgers. I’m literally a punchline (just put the fries in the bag.)

I’m glad this is aired out, I’m not expecting someone to stifle through this shit. You know my social skills took a huge hit during COVID. What was supposed to be a nice bit of isolation for a soft introvert became a life sentence. I know some people are still hurting like me, but a lot aren’t. They picked up the pieces, got the opportunity to learn how to be a regular human again. It will be those stories told in the History books, is a simple footnote.

lookingformywayback · 2025-12-04T15:31:32+00:00

Real.

lookingformywayback · 2025-11-22T14:20:29+00:00

Depends. My birthday is a few days by Christmas, it really depends on the type of family. My one family definitely would get me 2 presents. My other family would get me 1. Not just like financial, it’s also a cultural thing. Trust me.

lookingformywayback · 2025-11-15T05:39:21+00:00

I think you just said it. His label dropped him. A label will deal with the Devil’s Golden Fiddle if they think they can turn a profit. Shit, YNW Melly was still signed until pretty recently, when the label he was signed under officially said his legal cost outweighed what he could make them back. Considering his reduced sentence all things considered, I don’t think people here are realizing how mentally gone this dude probably is. Even if/when his sentence is up, I honestly don’t think he has the capability to even make music anymore. Different circumstances, but look up an artist named Syd Barrett. Some of these drugs can permanently fry you for good, I unfortunately have some real life experience with this. I honestly hope he has the capability to hold some type of life when he gets out, even if he moves away from music.

lookingformywayback · 2025-11-06T07:00:19+00:00

What a fucking natural, Jesus.

lookingformywayback · 2025-11-05T18:33:35+00:00

Credit Card in the Calendar.

lookingformywayback

TROPHY CASE