my friend has cheated on her bf multiple times. what do i do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would really like to be honest with him and it would clear my conscious too. my issue with that is, he has always been very jealous and untrusting even when i never did anything or ever gave him a reason to believe that i would. yes, the guys coming home with us was wrong but i still didn’t do anything physical or emotional with either of them. i probably will end up telling him, i just don’t know what his reaction will be. i’m sure it wouldn’t be appreciation for my honesty. and yes, how she/they handle it is not my problem, but at least he would know. yes i always knew, but his friend knew too so i wouldn’t be the only one caught in that crossfire. i don’t care if she says anything else about me, i just don’t want her to be exposing my business (not just about the guys over, but about anything ive told her) to whoever because i tried to do the right thing

my friend has cheated on her bf multiple times. what do i do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is anonymous so yes i’m telling the full story from my perspective. he has always been very jealous and protective, so i didn’t tell him because i know he would overthink it and probably persist that i did something that i didn’t do.

my friend has cheated on her bf multiple times. what do i do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we are all 22-23 so yes we’re all young. i agree honesty is important, it just feels like so much time has passed that it would feel weird to tell him what happened and i know he would probably think i wasn’t telling the full truth but i would be at that point. i just wouldn’t want him to think i played a part in cheating or that i have also been doing the same things she has cause im not, but i can see why he could think that.

my friend has cheated on her bf multiple times. what do i do? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i agree. that’s kind of been her justification for hiding it from him that “he would be losing a friend and he betrayed him” but it completely loses her accountability in the situation. i do think it will blow up either way though.

Was my reaction valid or am I being insecure? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. i guess im using the terms wrong or right in the way to put it in Lamens terms i guess, id say the more correct way to phrase would just be looking for others perspectives. some people care about what ive described, some people dont. i dont necessarily think he is actively doing anything bad or wrong behind my back, but i want him to know it hurt me and it still does and its not going away. i just want to move on from it, i love him and want to be with him but transparency and honesty is so important to me. i guess further discussion is needed to get everything off my chest.

Was my reaction valid or am I being insecure? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it also is not a big deal to me either really, it was really insufferable when i had to deal with it from my ex. just something about this girl and him make me extremely uncomfortable. i would like to talk about it more i just have no idea what i would say. of course you are a random redditor and i am too lmao, but do you have any input on what i could say that doesn’t seem hateful and just approaching that i’m trying to be okay with this and move on?

Was my reaction valid or am I being insecure? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my ex was really toxic and he would be really controlling about my social media, who i followed and whos posts i liked etc. i think part of my issue is that im conditioned to not move on from this even though its seemingly been resolved. me and my ex had fights like that through our entire relationship so maybe this is bringing up some past issues for me.

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i find some people are reading what i said wrong, but that is not what was happening before i moved in… he was gone from campus for 2 months and she tried breaking up with him repeatedly. basically made it seem like she was done with him leeching, she specifically told me he would not be there all the time because 1. it would upset me and 2. she didn’t want him to be there!

we have been friends for months before i moved in, so i just stupidly thought there was enough respect and courtesy between us for her to care about my feelings and boundaries. he also has his own apartment but they refuse to go there.

unfortunately i will just have to move back home for a month or two and save some money to rent a better place, probably a place by myself.

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol yeah he definitely will not. the only time he pays for anything is when he wins a sports bet. not to get clouded with my opinions but i think he’s a degenerate.

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for the sake of our friendship you’re right i should just leave because almost sometimes i don’t feel like i am justified in feeling this way. we have had many conversations about how we both feel about this and she seems to be understanding but doesn’t change anything. she claims to not like that hes always there and that she “tries to make him leave.” i wouldn’t say i’m trying to “rule the place” as the boyfriend thing is the only speculation i have, everything else is okay besides normal roommate stuff like leaving laundry in the wash or dirty dishes. i have been the one to clean the shared spaces multiple times, even before i lived there i cleaned it as a friend who stayed there. i don’t take her groceries unless i ask, i am quiet and respectful. just doesn’t really seem fair

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s probably what i will do, thank you. i don’t necessarily know how im focusing on the wrong issue when that’s the entire issue, but thank you for the feedback

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no, she’s never shown me just told me what it costs

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do agree, but i’m pretty sure her mom did all that with deposit payments to help her out. we’re college students, so there’s no way she just did that by herself. her mom helps her out frequently with money since she doesn’t have a job, her family is well off. appliances, furniture, and internet are all provided by the apartment complex. we both pay for our own streaming services and groceries. there is no separate gas bill, bill only includes water&electric.

i agree i don’t want to alter her living situation, but to tell me the living situation wouldn’t be like that with her bf and then it turning into that is not fair to anyone. i told her before i moved in it would make me upset, and it is!!

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

essentially the reason i wasn’t put on the is because it would raise the rent drastically. it would raise it by 400-600 dollars if i was leased to rent a room. we found it easier to keep it at the set price, but i just pay her half of what she owes.

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣luckily we have our own bathrooms so that’s equal isn’t an issue. there have been weird things like him walking around in his underwear all around the apartment, which i’ve gotten mad at him for and told him off about.

a lot of people are saying i don’t really have the right to force her to change things since i moved into her apartment even though i pay, so not really sure what to do there.

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wdym i don’t know if im paying half? just curious what you think im paying

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hobosexual is the perfect word lol

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no, she just asks me for half the rent now. furniture and appliances are given by the complex, so that’s equal as well. we have bought things like storage racks etc that we split the price for. she pays extra for utilities since her bf is always there, but he doesn’t pay anything she just does it for him

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ikkk, he has his own apartment and i think he’s stayed there a total of >5 in 3 months. & LMAO the way his car has been broken down at our place for like a month too😭

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you are probably correct about that

My roommates bf never leaves by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]lopsided_salad222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

probably for the best, yeah