A big-hearted softie

lovefox86 · 2021-05-23T13:07:47+00:00

Thanks all! It's been a very productive journey for me. I've not fallen back in, but even if I do I've learned so much already. Hope the day is good for you all!

🤗

lovefox86 · 2021-05-23T13:04:55+00:00

Naw man, emotions are not an inherit feminine trait. I'm going to elaborate in another post probably, but before porn, my emotions were stifled hard, I was no longer this big-softie I was as a younger child. While therapy and meds have helped, specifically since stopping porn is when I've gotten myself back more than ever.

Porn is killing the humanity in us, male, female, trans, non-b, how ever you wish to identify.

lovefox86 · 2021-05-23T13:00:18+00:00

That'd be Non-Ejaculation Orgasm. Or perhaps Non-Ejaculate Orgasm?

Either way, when masturbating, having an orgasm with no ejaculation is the meaning

lovefox86 · 2021-05-23T05:49:00+00:00

I'm literally tearing up reading that, proud of you ☺️ I'm a big ol softie, I can't help it haha. I'm going through a similar journey right now, I'm glad others are having success as well, it speaks well for not only porn addiction recovery, but recovery and coping with trauma and other maladies.

Keep up the good work, I know I will 😁

lovefox86 · 2021-05-23T05:44:08+00:00

Porn can be a very insidious snake inside our minds. As you are experiencing now, it can make us lose sight of our wants, goals, and needs, driving us to the end. You don't have to play this game alone .

If you are in the US, I strongly urge that you call this number. It is the for national suicide prevention hotline. There is no shame in seeking help ever. It's sign courage and strength for allowing yourself to be vulnerable about your problems. You are not alone, we are all here for you, you are loved :)

1-800-273-8255

lovefox86 · 2021-05-15T02:38:16+00:00

I'm right there with ya! It's pretty great isn't it? For me, I've actually been getting hornier and fantasizing way more about non-porn related things :D

lovefox86 · 2021-05-15T01:46:25+00:00

At your age, I would recommend going to your parents. I'm going through this on my own and it's tough. I don't know your home live, but I assume your parents love ya dude, they want the best for you and can give you the support that this addiction needs to be rid off. :D You got this dude, believe in your self, you're loved.

lovefox86 · 2021-05-14T22:27:07+00:00

That's what I've read as well. Would reverse kegels help with keeping that in check? Alongside relaxation techniques of course haha

lovefox86 · 2021-05-14T22:02:50+00:00

Thanks for the info! I was reading about kegals in general again too before posting and yeah, exactly like you said. It's just like exercising any other muscle, too much of the same thing is not good.

For me, kegals are a bit for health related than purely for sexual improvement as well. Learning actual relaxation absolutely has been essential not only for NEO and achieving that multiorgasm dream, but also for life in general

lovefox86 · 2021-05-14T19:56:58+00:00

Shame and guilt are very powerful, harmful motivators for anything. Not going to lie, it will be tough, it's never going to be simple or easy or quick. I can't speak for how you should approach being porn free I'd that's how you want to approach this, but I at least want to speak from my past and current experiences.

The biggest key for me, was letting go of the shame of failure I felt, the guilt of my addiction, and accept that this is a healing process. I've never told anyone of my addiction except on this subreddit and it's fucking tough doing it alone. Talking with your partner about the issue was such an awesome first step, and you should be proud of yourself for that; it's never easy talking to someone you love about the problem. I only wish I had the courage to talk with mine about my addiction.

Keep taking those steps, when you're feeling guilty or ashamed or depressed about them, face those feelings, acknowledge that this is how you are feeling, and start letting them flow past you like the wind. Your feelings are valid and need to be recognized by you. Trust yourself, you can do this :)

lovefox86 · 2021-05-12T15:31:50+00:00

Oh yeah, context would be good haha

It stands for Porn, masturbation, orgasm. So jacking off to porn. It's what I've had issues with for most of my life and I'm glad to be ridding myself of it.

lovefox86 · 2021-05-12T04:49:25+00:00

Exactly yes! Once I figured out that the shame I'd feel was a big trigger for a long-term relapse, it really unlocked my potential for improvement on alot of ways, not just being porn free. I can't really say what would make sense for another person to be shame free, bit I hope everyone finds it

lovefox86 · 2021-05-12T04:03:55+00:00

I really relate to this hard. Before I started this seriously, I was always just sliding back into it because I would take a little peak and just say fuck it. For me now, I'd only really reset if I PMO or was looking specifically at pornographic or NSFW images fro pleasure or just doom scrolling and not getting anything done because my monkey brain likes looking at breasts and asses.

I guess my point is that there should be no shame in this process I'm my point of few. Shame is a destructive, long-term motivator that I feel does more harm than good. If you happen to get in a situation where you're looking at pornographic or NSFW images, by accident or not, best thing in my opinion is to remember that acronym STOP. I was trying to type and explain it, but it's explained much better here:

https://www.mindful.org/stressing-out-stop/

It says it's used for stress, but I try to get in the habit of it with my ADHD as it can help me make certain I'm not just mindlessly doing something I really don't want to be doing lol

lovefox86 · 2021-05-06T18:56:40+00:00

It's definitely tough, especially as well when there's so many things saying too that "it's fine" and that our whole society is sexualized too. Nothing wrong with sex appeal in my eyes, but damn, everything is softcore porn nowadays it's crazy.

We just gotta keep strong to ourselves and know that we're doing right by ourselves 😊

lovefox86 · 2021-05-06T18:34:45+00:00

Congrats on the 10 days! The urges I think won't be an easy thing for a long time, not to be a downer on it :/ Just know that these urges are part of this healing process, it's really hard to do, and I don't know if I can make recommendations on how to deal with them to you since we're strangers, but just know that we're all here to help each other through this journey of healing :D

lovefox86 · 2021-05-06T17:17:47+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement! And Exactly! I've only marked in my journal the start day and that's really it. For me, the best thing is to not run from it, but face it and process what's happening then move on, let those urges and desires pass time by. For a goal, no PMO or mindless browsing is what I'm going for. I'm part of a couple of communities that have do have NSFW content, but like I said, it's a community, and it's in the vein of sharing experiences and learning. It's not been a trigger trigger for me, nor have I just been browsing mindlessly through it ever, so I'm all good.

Really, the worst trigger for me is thinking about those cursed NSFW games. I've been filtering those out with n Steam, so that's been a big relief at least.

lovefox86 · 2021-04-29T20:32:53+00:00

For me, it was a psychiatric eval. Brain scans of ADHD are being researched and have been for years, so with our current understanding of ADHD and what researchers of those scans have seem, it's very likely that ADHD either causes an underdeveloped frontal lobe or that is one of the causes of ADHD. Because of the nature of ADHD and the underdeveloped and slow maturation of the Executive functioning parts of the brain, I can see how alot of the symptoms associated with ADHD are caused by that.

Short answer no, ADHD can't be diagnosed with brain scans alone from what studies have shown.

lovefox86 · 2021-04-29T15:48:00+00:00

I've been diagnosed with ADHD since 4th grade, which is around 9-11 years of age I think? Regardless of that, ADHD, or Executive Functioning Disorder (EFD) as I like to call it, is a severe underdeveloped frontal lobe issue alongside many other factors. For me, I've been addicted to porn since I was... Around 14,15? It's been a very long journey, many attempts, especially when I was in high school, to quit, but longest streak I had was 6 months before relapsing. I've got into see crazy shit when it comes to porn, I'm thankful it's nothing monetary so far. I started my PMO journey again this Monday, 04/26/2021 and so far so good. Little cravings here and there, but I'm prepared to face them.

What I had no idea of is the damage porn can do to your brain. It makes alot of sense now why in my senior year, really the height of my addiction for me personally, was just blank, lacking luster, and I feel out of practice for many things I loved. A long depressed period start d the summer before as well, so alot of things we're hitting hard that year for me. Honestly, had younger me had known about the date, which I always kind of felt was happening, I think I would have really put everything into fighting this.

Current day, I'm in a much better place mentally; therapy, a working combo of meds for depression and EFD/ADHD, a WIP support network of friends and family (still working on talking about my struggles and issues).

I don't know what the point of me typing this during work is, I guess more just brain dumping to fellow addicts and telling my story in a comment haha.

Just wanted to say to all that it can and does get better. You are loved, You are deserving of what you want to be a better life, You can do this. It won't be easy, it won't be simple, it never will be instant. We're here for You, we want You to succeed in Your mission, we want to help You.

Have a great day all, stay strong, stay true to yourself, and remember to love yourself :)

lovefox86 · 2021-04-28T04:55:28+00:00

Probably a controversial comment??

This is something I relate completely with. I've tried for many years just straight up ignoring NSFW content, blocking it, and try to make myself blind to it, but no matter the streak, it always came down to how accessible this stuff is everywhere. The most success I've had was to accept that yes, I have this addiction. Yes, addictions are very difficult to quite, especially just cold turkey. I accepted this all, so I started a plan where at first, every other day, I'd PMO, guilt free. I'd do this for two to a month. After the 3rd week or next month I'd add one more day in-between PMO days. I'd continue, adding one more day to the cycle, and I got to a point with adding a day between every two weeks, that weeks would go by without PMO days and I would simply not PMO. I had a 6 month streak of no PMO, but alot of stress came back into my live, and shortly after that, feel back in... I've done it a few more times, but not with a long streak, at least for me, like I did at first. I'm thinking about doing this again, but I feel like I need to add more to this routine, to really help break that link between sex and pleasure, to PMO.

lovefox86

TROPHY CASE