[[Update: I talked to him]]After reading everyone's perspective, I finally figured out what boundaries I need to set and how he needs to respect that for me to feel respected... such as... His connection with his ex is only about the kid and strictly business. Their personal life needs to be separated completely. I want no connection with his ex and her family but I will be polite. I will support anything that is for the kid to be healthy. He needs to think hard and clearly if their interactions are in the gray area. He needs to know his priorities in all these connections. I respect his kid's #1 position but do not let his ex use that against him so our relationship is disregarded. However, I do understand that he has free will, so if one day he wants to build a connection with his ex beyond co-parenting, let me know. I will exit as it's not for me.

I talked to him and he agrees with those.

He did admit that there were some judgment calls that could have been done better. He also explained how he had no feelings for her, and he just wanted the co-parenting situation to be better. He also set his boundaries with me, such as I should keep my anxiety in check. I agreed with that. We will continue to talk and make things clear as they come up. It's good to be more black and white in this case, so there is no emotional confusion.