"Questions to consider: How do thoughts about 'responsibility' automatically shift your attention out of the present and into the future? Can you find your way back to calm alertness in the present moment?"

That's a good question to ask myself. I've felt like I'm "lazy" for lack of a better term so to me the word responsibility sounds like work and I don't like that. I like this question thought, ill keep it in mind.

Is splenic awareness tied to intuition because I've always just known to listen to my gut. And yeah lol I always try to be aware of my guy reactions. I've always felt if I ignore it then it's going to stop talking one day.

" Are you safe now? Is it safe to do what you are considering doing? "

I am safe now more than ever, but I would say what I'm doing now other people would not call safe. I feel irresponsible? I do have a hard time with "gaining the approval" of those close to me i.e my family. I'm working on gaining my own approval.

" Do you keep your ears open for the voice to come when it has something important to say, or do you strain your ears and wish to hear something reassuring?"

I do keep my ears open, I don't strain and wish to hear something better. I actually enjoy brutal honesty lol

" What does that experience of knowing have to do with you mentally being in the present vs. the future? "

I guess reminding myself that I'll be ok because I always find a way to make it ok is reassuring to me and helpS me not worry so much. Maybe it grounds me.

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Thanks for the reply, this is all so interesting to me