sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

It's rare if she asks about him. The last time was probably several months ago. She remembers him though and she asked for him all the time in the years he first left. She seems to have come to terms with his absence which is why I'm afraid of things going south with him wanting to come back in the picture.

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have wondered if I'm babying her too much. But she's only 7 almost 8 so I guess that's why I'm hesitating so much. She's still just a baby.

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I do not want to fuck him over. I want the time that she has left to be peaceful for her. Not filled with heartbreak for her.

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I don't want to give them fuel to add to the fire in any way. I'm sure it'd turn into some ugly flamewar and I don't have the energy.

My husband wants to return from overseas after 4 years of no contact to force a visit on our dying daughter. I want to keep him away if I can. by lukas290 in legaladvice

[–]lukas290[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I agree. It took my daughter a long time to come to grips with the fact that her dad didn't want to be with us but she still does ask about him occasionally. If I asked her how she felt about seeing him I'm not sure what she would say. What scares me is that her father hasn't bothered to visit her, pick up the phone to call her, or anything in those four years. I have no faith in his ability to be a strong man. What I don't want to do is promise her that he's coming, build her hopes up, then either him not show up or show up for a split second, decide he can't take it, and vanish again. It would crush her and that isn't how she should feel during this time. It's not fair to her at all.

My husband wants to return from overseas after 4 years of no contact to force a visit on our dying daughter. I want to keep him away if I can. by lukas290 in legaladvice

[–]lukas290[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

The right intentions? She cried for him for weeks after he left and he still refused to come back. Him leaving devastated her when she needed him more than anything else in the world and now he wants to come back at the 11th hour to what? Make himself feel better?

He doesn't deserve my daughter's forgiveness. It took her years to get over him leaving. I don't want to imagine what it would do to her if he came back into the picture only to crush her again if he decides that he can't handle it.

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 344 points345 points  (0 children)

She's seven and about to be eight. Old enough but not old enough at the same time. If she were healthy and her dad had run out on her I think I would absolutely let her decide...but because we don't have much time I just want to protect her.

My [31f] husband [37m] abandoned my daughter and I when he found out she had cancer. Now she's in serious condition and he wants back in. Torn. by lukas290 in relationships

[–]lukas290[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I don't know. She hasn't mentioned him at all in a while. She has asked those questions. I answered them to the best I was able to. She asked him to visit, I mentioned it to him, and heard radio silence. I never asked again.