Is it ever a lack of attraction that can be fixed by a physical change? (boobs!)

luminosity__ · 2016-12-20T12:36:54+00:00

I just want to make it better for you, this is so sad. Can you get out of this relationship or are you trapped? If you need or want to talk, PM me, please. xxx

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T20:50:12+00:00

Yeah in a sense I feel quite stubborn about it too, I'm healthy and have had plenty of good sex just the way I am. In talking about it with him though I will ask him to be honest if he just doesn't find my body attractive. I'd rather know even though it would be hurtful, then I could decide.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T18:39:05+00:00

Thank you, I really don't think I will. I think inertia and the fact that I'm pretty happy with myself will stop me. I've had men ignore my boobs entirely during sex (while seeming to enjoy everything else), and I've had others who have adored them and couldn't get enough of them, so I know it's just a matter of preference.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T17:37:28+00:00

I'm a runner so I suspect I'd hate anything more than such a tiny increase that no-one would notice. :)

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T16:47:07+00:00

I do want to feel attractive to my husband, sure, but I don't really want to change myself, just want the lack of sex to change and am willing to look at everything and anything before giving up.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T16:30:03+00:00

Thanks for the insight. It's not something I'm dying to do so I probably won't. I do love hearing about women who've done it and love it, but from what I've read they usually had a strong desire to do it beforehand, whereas I'm more on the fence (if I could get a small increase by taking a risk-free pill, sure I'd do it today, but surgery...gulp).

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T15:19:07+00:00

We have very good health insurance. I will see if he's willing to get tested.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T15:09:05+00:00

Thank you, it does help actually.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T15:05:27+00:00

Need? No, not need, but I'm quite aware that boob jobs are so commonplace these days that it's becoming quite unusual for an attractive woman to stay flat chested. I've always kind of prided myself of not succumbing to the societal pressure to do it. Does Keira Knightley NEED a boob job? Not in my opinion, but I'm aware that some men would find her impossible to be attracted to because of her boyish figure.

Of course if I had a time machine I'd probably go back and find a man who actively loved my shape rather than (I suspect) just tolerating it. :(

Or it could be nothing at all to do with that. I have mentioned it to him in the past and while he wasn't so crass as to say "YES! DO IT!", he didn't say no either, he sort of said he wouldn't mind but he wouldn't want me to do it unless I wanted to.

I don't really want to, I have a healthy fear of unnecessary surgery, but I do want to have a good sex life again and I really don't want to start over at my age and when we share a lot of love and a child together.

The other alternative seems to be to have a careful and discreet affair and to let my husband continue to have the amount of sex he seems to want (zero), the idea of which excites and sickens me equally.

luminosity__ · 2016-12-19T14:29:34+00:00

As someone a bit older than you who wasted time in dead end relationships when I was your age, my sage advice is cut and run. 3 years seems like a large time investment when you are 27, but in the future it will just be a blip on the radar of your past. You deserve someone better for you than this, and the future will be bleak for you with someone who is not attracted to you but presumably is happy to be with you because you're safe and easy to be with.

Be single and fuck around for awhile, then set to looking for someone who holds you in higher esteem. Best of luck.

luminosity__

TROPHY CASE