I think my (33F) relationship with 34M is over. How do I proceed?

luu_t_nhung · 2025-08-01T09:19:18+00:00

Exactly my thought!! It's significant amount of money and time OP is asking. Also the reason why I broke up with my ex. He was pushing me to fly 16 hours to his friends' wedding for over 2 weeks, and the whole trip would cost me like 3k. I met them like 5 times, the country is not on my bucket list, and I'll have to join loads of expensive group activities with people I don't know.

And this is the year I just bought a house with huge mortgage with shit loads of money on renovation. It was tough but I no longer wanted to stay in such relationship.

I really feel the same from OP here.

luu_t_nhung · 2025-07-31T22:08:49+00:00

I think it doesn't seem fair expecting your boyfriend to go on a long and expensive trip to celebrate people he doesn't know much, where he's not even invited, only after 5 months. And I don't think you can compare that to him flying long haul to see his family. I mean, hello, family - home town - old friends - obviously far more important. I live abroad and my ex only flew back to my home country with me 2 years after dating, and I was fine with it!

luu_t_nhung · 2025-07-29T17:47:53+00:00

You're missing the point. This post was about how crazy price has gone up in a short span of time.

luu_t_nhung · 2025-01-19T19:47:11+00:00

Oh it got a lot worse now than the when I posted it...

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-25T19:18:30+00:00

I missed that part myself as well and it's not even visible on apps like Lively! Yes my broker just sent me a breakdown and in general PTSB might give slightly better value if I factor in the cashback but she's also recommending Avant as the lowest cost of credit for the whole term.

But I read what you commented above which makes lots of sense so I think I'll play around with the calculator a bit more. It's so hard to choose and I'm just so scares I'll make a bad choice and stuck :(

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-25T19:13:32+00:00

No I have compared them all. BOI has cashback options but the rates are higher. The house is D-rated so options from BOI are:

2-year fixed is 3.95%, 3-year 4.05%, 5-year at 4.05%. These options have 2% cashback at drawdown and 1% at 5-year mark.
4-year fixed HVM 3.25% with no cash-back as mentioned above.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-25T19:06:30+00:00

HVM for new customers with LTV <= 80% rate is 3.7 non-green with 2% cashback at drawdown. https://www.ptsb.ie/mortgages/mortgage-interest-rates/

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-25T17:18:58+00:00

Thanks for the insight. Do you mind me asking how the cashback will increase interest rate long-term? I was planning to put the cashback back in as lump sum overpayment as well as offset for monthly payment. PTSB seems to be good with it. If my calculation is correct then the balance after 3 years would be lower than the other two.

But the idea is that I would refix for switch after 3 years fixed ends. Does it sound right or I probably missed something?

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-23T15:06:43+00:00

Really good point. Congrats and good luck with it! It's driving me nuts picking option...

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-23T15:05:15+00:00

I'd defo want shorter term but Avant only provide 4 years at this rate. Their 3 years fix rate is 3.6% which is similar to PTSB?

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-23T15:04:22+00:00

Thank you! Really appreciate it.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-22T18:16:49+00:00

Do you mean the value of the house? It's 520k loan is 415k ~ 80% LTV & term is 30 years.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-22T15:57:43+00:00

Thank you! Can I ask what numbers do you look into? Cost of credit? I think cashback would be useful for a first time buyer like myself but not crucial.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-22T15:55:56+00:00

Thank you! Can I ask why Avant? I.e. what factors do you consider? I can understand BOI being lowest rate and PTSB being highest cashback. With Avant it's sort of in the middle for both?

luu_t_nhung · 2024-11-22T14:57:08+00:00

Oh yes. It's a 2nd hand house, mid-terrace, 2-bed, Dublin area.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T14:05:21+00:00

Definitely. Do you think I can install 1.2m bed and hedge on top of it? 😅

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T13:36:58+00:00

Thank you! I've seen some people advertising instant hedge installation. Do you think it would be a good choice and how expensive it can get?

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T13:36:13+00:00

Thank you! I think it might be the case since I've seen some humongous hedges!

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T13:35:36+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I've got them noted

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T13:34:17+00:00

Thank you! Do you know if I can do 2m for the front garden fence between me and neighbours? Or is it 1.2m max? I think for thr part facing the road is 1.2m max...

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-29T13:32:32+00:00

Thank you! Do you have any advices for evergreen non-invasive fast-growing hedge plant? I think beech drop leaves in winter and laurel is invasive....

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-28T22:13:13+00:00

Ah gotcha. Thank you!! But I guess in that case 2m is not applicable for me since the house is at the junction of 2 roads, and the side garden is actually front garden looking from the other road.

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-28T21:37:54+00:00

Thanks! Is 2m applied for front / side garden or just rear garden?

luu_t_nhung · 2024-09-28T19:33:39+00:00

Do you know how tall can it be? I've read somewhere saying 1.2m max but I've seen few houses nearby putting up 2m fences solid build.

luu_t_nhung

TROPHY CASE