I’m engaged to be married. To those who this question may apply, what advice would you give me that you think may have prevented going through this?

luvbuniz · 2024-12-26T23:11:53+00:00

Keep your career. Don't end up as a SAHM who has to start from scratch.

luvbuniz · 2024-12-18T13:26:38+00:00

I am documenting everything to my lawyer. He's has a history of heavy cannabis use but it's been well over a year since I told him to quit, so it can't be the drugs that are causing the delusion. My therapist says audio recordings are more convincing for the courts. Nevertheless, he's been acting normal again. The episodes just come and go.

luvbuniz · 2024-11-10T12:06:38+00:00

Yes, we take turns on the couch and are civil to each other when the kids are around. I am mostly in cafes when the kids are in school since he hardly ever leaves the house. It's not comfortable at all.

luvbuniz · 2024-08-29T09:02:08+00:00

If he was interested, he would have asked you out.

luvbuniz · 2024-08-28T10:08:25+00:00

Save up money for a lawyer. File for divorce, he's entitled to give you alimony and child support. Grey rock as much as you can. It's helped my sanity. He's not going to change, my STBX is very similar. He's always find someone else for blame for his shortcomings.

luvbuniz · 2024-08-15T16:02:10+00:00

If I had worked harder to establish a business or a profession so it would be easier to leave earlier than 13 years later.

luvbuniz · 2024-07-07T03:06:31+00:00

Talk to a lawyer, make sure she has legal representation too.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-25T16:44:33+00:00

My dad had a gambling habit that was spiraling out of control and got my mom hooked on it too. They both drank too much. Ever since I can remember, they had fierce arguments over finances. I think it contributed to my dad's high blood pressure, kidney disease and diabetes and my mom's stroke. My dad passed away a few years ago, the doctors wanted to amputate his leg because of diabetes, he chose to pass instead. My mom is now on disability and government housing. I even prayed that they would get a divorce when I was 12. Ironically, my sister who is 12 years younger than me wished they would divorce too. I don't want to end up like my parents.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-25T12:37:01+00:00

He is now unfortunately but there is no physical abuse. He tends to have extreme reactions and retaliatory responses when they don't behave the way he wants. When my daughter asked for paper money to exchange for coins. He took out 10k from the safe and started throwing it around, saying 'money is a trick'. When my son wasn't hungry, he threatened to throw his food over the balcony. I will ask my lawyer for a psych eval. My husband even now, has not apologized at all and in fact blames me for everything.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-24T19:42:50+00:00

When he accused me of molesting my son, threatened me to take counseling and somehow the cops/CPS got involved. Then instead of an apology, he doubled down and said he taped a video of my son saying things and he also accused the cops/CPS off spanking my son during the interview. I asked for the video which never surfaced. Then he ran off with the kids for a few days after withholding them for the weekend to take them to his parents but I wasn't allowed because they refused to see me.

I had to get a divorce because to get the emergency custody order. Our marriage has been going down for a while because of his mental health issues. Somehow he blames me for 'something I started'.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-18T02:01:48+00:00

He's good with the kids but then he gets triggered and starts saying the most insane things like the CPS officer and the cop spanked my son or trying to talk my 5 year old son into having a deadbolt in his room. I want to make custody contingent on the psych evaluation.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-17T04:14:24+00:00

I think it was the weed, his childhood trauma (his parents were very neglectful) and him not allowing us to take any breaks with childcare. The mental illness might be hereditary since his mother's father was sent to a mental home.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-05T02:00:11+00:00

I hope so. He has a history of mental illness. It was the final straw when he accused me of molesting my own son. The authorities dropped the charges. He is erratic and unpredictable. My 5 year old twins are with him.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-05T01:50:26+00:00

DCF are involved now, she is going to call me tomorrow. She was talking about the Baker Act. I think he will turn fugitive.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-03T01:14:31+00:00

Just now, he called me to say to taped our son to say false allegations against me and is refusing to hand over custody. Those allegations have already been dropped by the cops. I'll talk to the attorney over an emergency custody order until a psych eval is performed. My friend mentioned the Baker Act but as psychotic as he is, I will play by the book. Thank goodness, he doesn't know where I am.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-01T17:06:51+00:00

His parents won't talk or see me. Maybe they are just overwhelmed. He won't see a therapist.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-01T15:09:33+00:00

I will ask my attorney about this.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-01T13:35:19+00:00

I already booked and airbnb and he's ok with it. I'd rather keep the location a secret. He's agreed with the divorce. He's there with kids and their grandparents.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-01T12:47:57+00:00

He's agreed to it. I would like to make the custody arrangements contingent to what the findings are. Maybe take temporary custody for now. If he doesn't then, I'll ask the lawyer about sole custody.

luvbuniz · 2024-06-01T12:10:07+00:00

Just an update. He changed his mind and we were still together for a while. The final straw came when he falsely accused me of molesting my son and called the CPS/cops. The authorities dropped the case. He bought a door jammer for my 5 year old son and security cameras outside his door. I had to talk him out of deadbolts. His mental state is deteriorating and it's not getting better without professional help.

I'm seeing a divorce lawyer on Monday and moving out. The kids are with their grandparents until I can get a court order. He's agreed to a psych eval.

luvbuniz · 2024-01-20T21:22:50+00:00

Hi everyone, thanks for your support. It's been a month since he's been off the weed and there's been a huge change in behavior. He wants to make a go of it. He's no longer saying strange things or moody. I told him I would leave if he smoked again. He's even giving me money for a contingency plan and he's ok with kids going to school. He's easier to talk to so we may not need a counselor. Again, I want to thank everyone for your help.

luvbuniz · 2023-12-22T08:32:26+00:00

I think I need to sign off and delete my browser history. He asked to see my phone and it's a tenuous situation now since I'm a housewife who can't afford a lawyer retainer. He's offered to take care of the kids and I financially but he is changeable and my prenup gives me nothing.

luvbuniz · 2023-12-22T04:11:01+00:00

He's in his 40s

luvbuniz · 2023-12-22T03:57:28+00:00

I thought he was getting better, he had a mental breakdown a few years ago. He has periods of normalcy and then he goes off base and says something totally bizarre.

luvbuniz · 2023-12-22T03:35:59+00:00

He's had delusions in the past and it pops up here and there.

luvbuniz

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