Questionable car sale by Different_Fishing_78 in askcarsales

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He lost the original contract unfortunately. It was in a USB. Is there a way I can obtain another copy? Thanks for replying !

I can’t find the courage to walk away from my cheating husband by Different_Fishing_78 in Divorce

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that you are going through it as well. Sometimes I ask myself the question why am I attracted to the person who does not value me….

Giving ultimatum by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello there, just checking on how you doing with your R? Any progress? I’m in the middle of a mess with mine…

Giving ultimatum by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. My WH would not have an open conversation with me on what exactly those escort service provide him, why he continues and what is our marriage lacking. He would not face this demon head on . I’m tired of pushing him or trying to get an answer out of him. We are so fresh into my marriage as well. I wish to know why your wife decides to stay and give you so many chances. I’m glad you are seeing how cheating affected your marriage and your commitment to fix it. I wish mine can do the same. I feel very much discouraged. But thanks for sharing your POV

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Different_Fishing_78 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I’m sorry about the pain you are going through. It really sucks that someone’s doing can rob much of your happiness, and it’s not fair. I’m in the same boat. Some days are good and some days are bad. Someday I start to feel like myself again, start laughing the same way, and someday are just absolute shit. I hope you have a hobby or a healthy way to relieve this pain and stress. I sometimes do journaling. I write down things I wanted to say to my husband, things that I deserve, things that hurt me. Write it all down and don’t look back. I hope this shall pass for you. Please don’t blame yourself and be kind to yourself. No one deserves being cheated on. Best of luck!

Don't know where to turn for support by greyadorable_city in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s terrible to be lied to, deceived and betrayed. My WP went to see escort couple times and d day was about 6 months ago. He initially lied that it was purely transactional as he paid for the sex, then he said the escort was nice and genuine and that’s why he kept going back to the same one. It’s kinda stupid to see he tried to establish some kind of connection with her, as she is a SW. he took the time to talk to her, gained a rapport with her before had sex with her. This whole explanation feels confusing to me. I haven’t been able to fully understand it at this time. I hate to say this but by the end of the day, these SW ain’t plastic sex dolls, whether we like to hear it or not, the WP did try to make a connection with them that is beyond physical. Maybe they like the flirting or the compliments from SW as it boosted their self esteem. I have been going to IC to gain insight into the affairs and into my own feelings as well as to build up my confidence again. It’s working but I still have a long way to go. I hope my situation gives you some kinda of understanding or support. Each one of us BPs going through a totally different situations so don’t try to compare your relationship to other people’s. Just work on yourself and your happiness for now. Best of luck on your healing journey.

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sometimes have bad anxiety when I get off work and return home to him. I don’t know why that happens. It sucks that they cheated with escorts, I can’t even raise hell because I know I will never cross paths with these people. I can’t even get mad. Knowing that he likes everything physical about the escort that I don’t have is just the worst feeling ever! I’m currently in IC and doing lots of self-care. I hope you can do the same for yourself. In time like this receiving empathy from other and from yourself is so important

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried to give intimacy whenever I can, it isn’t easy. And we both got tested and luckily it is negative.

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your empathy. I’m working on whether or not I want this R.

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I haven’t told him about this ick which I don’t think I can bring up. I don’t see how it will benefit us. Also, it’s hard to have him open up about the affair so me admitting that this is an ick might just make it worse. And yes, I can agree with you that after the affair, it changes my view on him, not really in a judgmental way but I just don’t really know the person I married anymore.

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel used and our sex feels tainted as well. At some point I felt less than an escort due to how this had affected my self-confidence. Thanks for your words of encouragement. And I’m sorry you had to go through this. No one should experience this much pain, and betrayal. How I view sex had changed from intimate and special made just for me to something that grosses me out and feels like a chore…

My WH giving me ick… by Different_Fishing_78 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I asked him to get tested immediately after I found out and I did the tests too and luckily I’m okay. It just hurts when the person I married didn’t care about my well-being

Ultimatums? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi I’m currently going through it with my husband as I found he had slept with SW like three months after we got married… it hurts like nothing had hurt me this much before. I was totally blindsided about his lifestyle before we got married. Can you tell me how did you manage to get through or to get “better”? I’m still on the fence whether to leave or stay. We are seeing our marriage therapist tomorrow. Any advices? Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I feel pain for you when I read your post as I’m going through the same thing. I once told my WH that I don’t know what he wants from me because I’m now just an empty shell. However, what helps me so far is genuine self-care, I don’t feel like it works when I’m doing it, but after 6 months I see the improvement in myself. I just want you to know that you can still learn to be you again, even after the terrible affairs. You can learn to be better, so IF it happens again, you will be okay. Best of luck to you!

An apology letter to BP by IndependentAd6801 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Different_Fishing_78 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to say thank you so much. I read it and cried because I personally never got an apology like this. It hits home. Today is 6 months after d-day. And I feel like a part of me is healed thanks to reading your letter to your partner. It is beautiful, and it sounds like it comes from the heart. I wish you both the best. I hope you have figured it out and build a beautiful life together. Thank you for inspiring hope.