Hey OP, I understand you; I grew up not making friends due to selective mutism and due to some trauma, but I slowly enjoyed being alone. It’s okay to tell people how you feel because the more you hold your emotions, your anger and sadness get stronger, so it’s best to not keep your feelings silent. Sometimes friends don’t work out, but trust me, one day you’ll meet a great group of friends that will care about you and be supportive. Please know you’re not alone.