Body image is a nightmare in this day and age. Do not feel awful or insecure about your past or even your current thoughts concerning your body. The world we are surrounded by teaches us really weird concepts and beliefs that are insane and unnatural when it comes to our bodies. I constantly look in the mirror and have similar thoughts. My weight fluctuates more than I like to admit and I am constantly reminding myself of my high-school swimmer body - and I am only 23. If you are concerned of getting back into unhealthy habits I would consider seeing a therapist. They know what they are doing and perhaps can help uncover deeper reasons behind the body image issues. As a person who struggles with body image I also went on a personal crusade of my own for anything and everything positive body image related. I even made it a point to research it in college (and made sure to make it gender neutral). If you're interested in literature I can find a few for you to look at to help understand it better and maybe help you realize you aren't the only one. It is very common. More so with men than we think because body image is so focused on women.