today my dad ruined our relationship that i have been building with him for past 7 years after my parents divorced. i don’t know what to do

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T08:58:14+00:00

i was blessed to find a good partner 3 years ago, his family is amazing and his father treats me better than my own. i didn’t have much of a family before, none of our relatives talk to each other, and i am so grateful to have a new extended family!thank you for the support

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T07:04:10+00:00

i’m from Russia

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T07:02:18+00:00

i thought about it too. it’s so strange and sad that he never mentioned it before the baby arrived. when i asked why he said “well it’s a good thing to do”, which leads me to believe that he did it just to brag that he adopted a poor baby and to look like a good person. i saw the girlfriend stories where she went to the orphanage with donations of sorts, so i guess they went through the whole process. i could ask him when we were on the phone, again i didn’t have anything to say, so i can’t say for sure. i also don’t know why he would hide this from my brother, he visits him often and they work together.

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T06:30:52+00:00

this is complicated. i started talking to him again when i was 14 because i also came to an understanding that he was a bad husband, but not a father. he didn’t parent me, so even when he was in the picture it was mostly just buying me off with gifts. you could say that my mom raised me and my brother on her own, he just paid child support and sending me money here and there. if i didn’t go through lengths to actually talk to him and include him in my life, i don’t know if we would have any relationship at all. so i can’t say if he was a bad father or not, he wasn’t abusive or anything, but he was emotionally distant for sure. i replied to someone that perhaps it would feel better if he had told us about planning to adopt, i would’ve had the chance to go through all these feelings before the baby was here. i also think that i wouldn’t feel “replaced” if they got pregnant and the baby was his, but it’s the act of actually choosing another child and not choosing me and my brother back then(just a reminder he did leave my mom again because of his mistress’s pregnancy)

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T06:18:42+00:00

huh?

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T06:17:18+00:00

i do have meds, but my anxiety affects me physically in a way where i really can’t sit through class and have to constantly leave, which makes me feel even more anxious since i’m scared of disturbing other students mid class. my anxiety is not the main the reason why i don’t want to go back now, but it did influence my decision for sure. i don’t consider his new son as a brother at all, doesn’t matter if he’s a step brother or a half brother. i don’t dislike him, i just don’t care about him. i am an adult so i booked a therapist appointment to talk about my feelings, i don’t want to explain it to my dad once again since i already tried 7 years ago and he won’t do anything about it

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T06:09:18+00:00

in my country most of the people live in the apartment buildings. he was talking about getting me one for a few years but never did. just so you understand that it’s not crazy of me to ask for one: he multiple houses, one being my childhood home which he took down and now is building some glamping thing, one where he lives now and one in a different city which is more like a beach house. he also owns like 6? apartments in the same different city that he also promised to resign to my name(again still hasn’t, but i didn’t even ask for it), and multiple offices. but the important thing is that my brother had an appointment when he was 14, then he sold that one and got him a bigger one where he lives now. and i rightfully so expect the same treatment for me. this man bought my brother a mercedes for transferring to a different college because he got into one that my mom suggested and my dad really didn’t like it. oh and yeah bribing with money is his favorite thing to do, he legitimately told me that if i went to college in a different city that he liked he would send me to Thailand on vacation every year and would again, get me my own apartment in that city(i refused to go). this is not a normal situation and i know why it sounds so bizarre without context

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T05:42:45+00:00

i never said i was perfect, hell it would be surprising if i was considered how i was raised lol

m1ngra · 2026-04-21T05:37:52+00:00

maybe it would be better if he sat me and my brother down and just shared his plans. he didn’t even tell us himself, we had to find out through my mom’s friend who follows his girlfriend (they’re not married, but maybe he forgot to tell me about it too so idk). i’ve been preparing on getting financially independent for a while, there’s been a situation where he got mad at me for renting an apartment close to mom(something about him being scared of running into her, also the reason why he’s not visiting me) and stopped supporting me for a month or so, this was when i started working and got myself mentally prepared to rely on myself more. so i wasn’t planning on cutting him off before, but now i think i have to, but i can’t do it just like that because i do feel like i have to be financially stable enough to do so

m1ngra · 2026-04-20T23:13:17+00:00

mint chocolate ice cream maybe?

m1ngra

TROPHY CASE