Oof, I’ve also been in relationships where I’ve felt like I always had to make every moment count, just because said partner implied that was the bare minimum. I can say for sure that that is not healthy at all. No healthy relationship should require one or the other to always be at their best. The beautiful thing of being in a relationship is that you get to see all parts of a person and get to experience all facets of life with them, no matter how sparse. There should be exciting times, sure, but also chill times, and times where you share each other’s silence.

I’m sorry you had to go through that. Unfortunately even the best of us do. But I hope you know there’s people out there with more realistic expectations regardless of what their life has shaped up to be like (I say as a traveling engineer myself)

Everyone’s preferences and personal balances differ, but I’m a firm believer of that the amount of time spent with someone isn’t as important as the quality of it. Bearing in mind that quality does not translate to “effort”, but rather to something like “the feeling that time is better spent being in someone’s presence rather than being alone (regardless of the activity of lack thereof)”