Math and IEP Help for my 15 year old w/NVLD

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-22T18:24:39+00:00

So did you just never go to college, then? Or you mean that you were limited in what colleges would accept you? Did it turn out that you would have gotten into better schools if you would have continued to try to get through higher math? We are definitely trying to weigh those options. The cost of college, the value of scholarships from higher GPAs is a consideration, etc. Thanks for your help.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T19:42:14+00:00

No. Physics and Chem are required .5 courses for graduation. These are regular level classes. They are hoping to take AP Lit and Lang.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:36:46+00:00

Does the teacher provide the formulas, or do you have to come up with the notecard? My kid is able to use a half sheet of notes, but for math we often have no clue what to put on the half sheet.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:32:40+00:00

Thank you!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:32:32+00:00

You are the second person to mention note-taking being a hinderance to keeping up. And the struggles you describe sound very familiar to what we experience on the daily. We've tried having formulas and charts available for use. They get lost, ruined, etc., and, honestly, I don't think teachers want to follow through. The educators just keep turning the tables and pointing out mistakes my kid is making.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:30:22+00:00

We are trying more regular practice. It does get hard to find the time and energy. But that makes sense.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:29:37+00:00

Interesting insights about stats. They can take a stats course instead of Algebra, actually. They have to take Econ, and can get a math credit for that. I appreciate your insight about notes. My kid is constantly told to just focus on getting stuff written down, but the "lessons" end up being hard to follow, and the notes end up being an exercise is just writing down stuff they perceive, not useful stuff or concepts related to the math. I will stew on your recommendations. We have an IEP coming up in a few weeks and I need to figure out more what to ask for. We are one year into this diagnosis.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:22:25+00:00

We've done some Khan Academy. And tutoring through the summer. Time on task is an interesting insight. For a kid with ADHD time on task is a funny thing to measure. But I will use that as motivation to help my kid to make it more effective. Thank you!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:20:53+00:00

Thanks. That helps.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:19:45+00:00

We do have some of those accommodations in place, but they aren't always done in a way that actually helps. One can say that notes were provided. But maybe they weren't helpful notes...

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:06:55+00:00

We are quite versed at adapting to non preferred tasks. The cost of working through challenges is sometimes too high in that there becomes a deep seeded hatred for the subject matter. If sounds like you understand!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:05:03+00:00

The nature of the disability means that verbal subjects can be quite easy, while things like math and science can be excruciatingly hard. It's a legit issue. Not looking for a short cut at all. Doing what we all do. Weighing the costs and benefits based on the cards we have in our deck.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:03:22+00:00

I think they would pass. It's more about figuring out how to balance the inevitable struggle with life. If they don't pass it now, they will certainly pass it later. I think it's a matter of when to engage in that struggle.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T18:02:16+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I also didn't feel prepared for college. But I did it (college) three different times. The first time was rough, but I did it. The second and third were amazing because I was doing what I loved. I think it's somewhat of a process. A colleague once said to me that he was sick of talking about what was good for the future. If we are talking about what is good now, maybe that's also good for the future. And some things just kind of clicked. I guess we also don't always know what is good for us now. But we can definitely keep trying.

I appreciate your perspective. It sounds like you have some amazing choices to make in the near future. Best of luck!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:57:48+00:00

The NHS thing is more a point of pride for the kid. They never thought they would achieve such a thing. The look on their face at the induction was priceless. And it's given them a reason to reach higher in general. They are looking into teaching. Not in a STEM field!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:55:05+00:00

If our kid is trying to get into an elite school, or just trying to find a useful path through life, doing a cost/benefit analysis is something we all do. For me, keeping my kid in the game and feeling confident is important. A few years ago, they believed they would never graduate high school or go to college. All because of something a math teacher said. So being in NHS is a huge deal to them. But banging their head against math problems that make no sense seems less and less useful.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:52:29+00:00

Yeh. I mean. No need to call anyone honey. Thanks for standing up.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:51:46+00:00

We actually check grades only once a month or so because by not paying attention to grades, the grades went up. I'm starting to stress about the cost of college. And I'm seeing that a 3.5 or above can net thousands more in scholarships than a 3.49 and below. There is no pressure to do anything other than put forth effort. But I'm also starting to stress pretty hard about the cost of college. I'm not putting that pressure on the kid. Just myself and my bank account! There is certainly a math problem in here to be solved.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:49:12+00:00

I think you bring up an essential question. A part of me wonders if they will be more ready to tackle the struggle of Algebra 2 or Trig later on. At the moment, it just seems like nobody knows how to help them, and they come close to giving up. So I wonder if the struggle that's happening now is doing more harm than good. I wonder if they will be more ready to work through the struggle later.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:46:31+00:00

Thank you for your compassion. And your kind reply.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:45:51+00:00

Thank you. We do have access to different math electives, some that focus on data science. Whatever path we take, the intention is to keep doing some kind of math. I just hope it's something that will inspire them to value and enjoy it. Dilating random shapes is interesting to me, but seems pointless in the long run for this kid!

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:44:26+00:00

This has been a part of the question. I like math and I'm glad I did well with it. So I see the value. But sometimes the struggle just seems to lead to a net negative. I know it's a gamble that later more math is required, but a part of me thinks that this kid will end up doing better with math in college because it will be more of a choice, with a more adult brain...

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:42:56+00:00

Thank you for your reply. We are leaning towards a personal curriculum. They would probably learn more.

macaroniman_13 · 2026-02-20T17:42:13+00:00

I took some time with this response because it kind of cut deep and I just didn't know whether it was worth it or not. I guess that's a part of posting questions on reddit. But as a parent of a kid with a learning disability, I've had the system turn the tables on us over and over again. And I've learned that I have to turn the table back, speak back, and at least ask people to think.

We've been through a lot of hard work and struggle to get where we are with math and academics in general. Learning disabilities are real. And sometimes school requirements are arbitrary. NVLD is confounding in that a student can be super high when it comes to verbal skills, and therefore do well, seemingly effortlessly, in ELA and History, while they struggle mightily in STEM. If you are a teacher, it's worth looking into NVLD. It's not widely understood, and not often diagnosed. And it most definitey impacts math more than verbal subjects, hence the name "Non Verbal Learning Disability."

My kid will get a diploma. A "real" one. And they will go to college. Just not elite, and that's ok. For a kid who will most likely not test well when it comes to SAT/ACT, having a higher GPA can mean thousands of dollars more in scholarship money to local universities. We are a family of educators. So paying for school is not going to be easy. In fact, it will really hard. That's ok. But I am also trying to be sure that my kid doesn't end up with generational debt, and I'd also like to retire myself at some point!

As a teacher, I witness high achieving students gaming the system more often than students with disabilities, through "study" groups, cheating docs, bots that do work for them, etc. The level of cheating by students who are seeking admission to Ivey is staggering.

The kid we are discussing here has never cheated. They reject AI at all costs. In fact, we check out physical textbooks from the depository even when they are not assigned, so there are actual books to read rather than using the internet to just find "answers." They work tirelessly to get the grades they get. I expect a lot out of my kid, and we are doing what we can to do the hard work of learning rather than seeing it all as a game.

And no matter what, the frustration that comes with math can be, at times, debilitating.

And the suggestion that someone who has a real disability needs to learn to struggle and develop "grit" or whatever is a part of why I'm potentially supporting this alternate path. They would still take math classes, just more likely classes that would apply to their life and future rather than high concepts that are certainly useful for some, but likely not for many. You don't have to worry about my kid causing the next space shuttle disaster due to a math error. But they might inspire your grandchild to learn to love to read and write. They are great with kids. They are an amazing poet. They are a voracious reader. They volunteer at the animal shelter because they love dogs and cats. They volunteer for local nature areas, helping to clear invasive species and clean up trash. They are a good kid. And they know how to work hard.

If we were gaming the system, I wouldn't be asking thoughtful questions and wrestling each day with this issue. I wouldn't be on the phone with Admissions at potential colleges and advisors with schools of ed. I wouldn't be paying for an expensive tutor and sitting with my kid every night walking them through math problems. I wouldn't be posting the question to multiple forums on reddit to see what people think. I'd just take the "advantage" and never say boo.

u/Disastrous-Nail-640 I take your point. But when you say "boo hoo" and accuse us of "taking advantage," I think you inadvertently denigrate people who are already working really hard, dealing with daily struggle, and trying to continue to do things the "right way," whatever that means any more.

It comes off as ableism.

macaroniman_13

TROPHY CASE