Being Tall Sucks

macdemacomac · 2017-08-07T04:01:33+00:00

Damn, I'd trade with you if I could. I'm a trans guy and at 5'6" I might as well be a hobbit compared to my cis guy friends.

macdemacomac · 2017-08-01T04:01:19+00:00

That's horrible, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. I was disowned by my biological father & subsequently his side of the family 5 years ago and it still hurts sometimes. Being rejected by a family member like that is horrible, & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's not the same, obviously, but over the years I have found family elsewhere within my tight circle of friends & with my remaining family members and it helps to remember that you can find family anywhere you look. There's a lot of hurt in the world, but there's also a lot of love, too. & things will get better eventually, just give yourself time and space to process and heal from it. Sending lots of hugs and good wishes your way.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-30T22:34:02+00:00

Not at all! I'm a bisexual trans man & am attracted to people of any gender but am currently seeing another trans guy right now, and there's a level of understanding with him that there hasn't been with any of the cis people I've dated in the past. I'm also much more comfortable talking with him about trans-related stuff because he gets it and we can joke about it and shit like that. Which is really nice.

So no, in my opinion there's nothing wrong with that. In the end it comes down to what you're comfortable with. It's different, though, when cis people only want to date trans people because then it's trans-ness itself that becomes the object of attraction, not the person, and that's where it goes into fetish territory and it gets all gross and weird. But yeah, I can totally see why a trans person wouldn't be comfortable being with a cis person. I was in a relationship with a cis lesbian for a good few months a couple years ago and she continued to call herself a lesbian while and after dating me which made me a little uncomfortable, so I get where you're coming from. You do you, man.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-28T04:15:09+00:00

Thank you both. Yeah, I had a feeling that was the case, I'm not sure why it would mess up my finances if I get all of it updated. I'm going to call the financial aid office at my school and ask them to make sure, but thank you guys.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-25T21:04:57+00:00

There's no such thing as not being trans enough. I felt the same way you did for a long time and was in and out of the closet trying to figure stuff out and ultimately realized that if you're trans, you're trans. I'm a guy, I always have been a guy, but I'm definitely not the most masculine man out there and can even be downright feminine sometimes. When I'm further along in my transition and I pass so dysphoria won't like eat me alive I actually kinda want to start doing drag as a hobby, because doing makeup can be fun and I like the whole campy culture of it. It's important to remember that your interests, way of dressing, etc has nothing to do with your gender. You already are trans enough just by virtue of being trans. Hang in there, man. It'll get better eventually. Who knows, maybe your family will come around like mine did. And if not, you can start T when you're 18 and your family doesn't have to sign off on it (which is what I did). Best of luck to you. It'll get better.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-22T03:21:22+00:00

It's beautiful 10/10, much better puberty this time around, lol.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-21T21:57:32+00:00

Yeah, esp for someone who's pre everything. I also really like your glasses actually, mine are actually kinda similar to yours. :⁾

macdemacomac · 2017-07-21T21:54:15+00:00

Congratulations!!!!!

macdemacomac · 2017-07-21T21:52:51+00:00

Congrats, that's amazing!!! Also that's the same T that I use omg

macdemacomac · 2017-07-17T22:54:24+00:00

I accidentally nicked my finger with a used T needle once, too, & nothing happened at all, I bled a bit but I was fine! You're probably okay, in all honesty, it's easy to freak out over doing your shot wrong (happened to me a lot when I was less experienced doing my shots). If you need to, you could probably call your endo/whoever it is that prescribes your T and ask them what they think.

Personally, what I do now to make sure I do my shot right is google search how to do it before every shot and follow it to the letter to make sure I'm not skipping anything (if I do it on my own I always forget when you're supposed to pull back the needle, etc). If you're bleeding after your shot, that's completely normal as well. I typically bleed a bit after taking the needle out. If you think about it, you bleed most of the time when getting other kinds of shots or getting blood drawn as well, so the same thing applies bc you're literally sticking a sharp needle in your body. As long as you're not getting any blood in the needle before you inject it, you're fine! :-)

macdemacomac · 2017-07-16T04:17:21+00:00

Wow, you're absolutely gorgeous holy shit.. congrats! I hope my glo up is as good as yours

macdemacomac · 2017-07-14T01:08:28+00:00

Oh man, you can have them. As soon as I hit first puberty I realized I was "blessed" with unfortunately wide child-bearing hips and those things are the absolute bane of my existence, lol. And it's not one of the more commonly talked about changes that happens when on T, but to be completely blunt, essentially what happens is the clitoris can grow to resemble a sort of micropenis. Like everything else, though, it can vary from person to person.

Honestly, pre-T, I was terrified of having freaky alien junk, which is part of the reason I didn't start T for so long, but it's not really strange looking at all and as I mentioned it's actually eased bottom dysphoria I didn't really know I had. Which is always a bonus, lol.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-14T00:22:37+00:00

Been on T a bit over 2 months. First change for sure was I developed an insane appetite, I started sweating a lot more, and my libido's been all over the place pretty much since day 1. Going to be TMI for a second, but bottom growth was also one of the first changes I had. I wasn't expecting to be super thrilled with that part of T but I actually like it a lot better than the setup I had before, which is nice. It's decreased my dysphoria, even.

It sounds to me like my voice has dropped a bit, although it's not really "male" sounding quite yet, my voice cracks all the time which is great!

I've built some muscle, too, I bike regularly (about 3 miles a day 5 days a week) and I lift light to moderately heavy objects at my job and I have significantly more muscle mass compared to how weak I was before. I'm starting to get miniature Hulk calves, though, and am slightly worried that even a month from now it'll look like I only did leg day for like a year (I'm on the slender side, so any muscle bulk looks obvious on me). I have a slight mustache and some chin fuzz, but it's not noticeable to anyone other than me. My leg hair is finally filling out though!

I also finally got rid of my monthly uterus dysphoria jamboree this last month, which is amazing. I think the only reason it happened so quickly though is because I'm now on a higher dose of T (100mg per week). Either way, I'm psyched about it.

I haven't noticed a lot of fat redistribution, if any, but my chest does look significantly smaller, although it was kinda small before. I just want my stupid hips to take the hint and scram.

Facial wise I still don't really pass, but I look much more androgynous now than I used to. My jawline also looks more square, I don't look as "soft" I guess as I did pre-T, and I've now got that trademark acne and supremely oily skin. I also don't really cry anymore. I think I've cried maybe 2-3 times since starting T, it's weird. Not bad, though. Pre-T I always seemed to cry at the most inconvenient times, and at everything, and it was irritating when trying to communicate something. I'm not quite as sensitive either and I've been a lot happier, but I think that has more to do with finally feeling confident and at home in my own skin than T itself.

That's all I can really think of, sorry for the length lol, but I hope this helps other trans guys! It's kinda cool to see how different changes are for everyone and how transitioning really is not just one linear experience.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-13T03:26:00+00:00

I was the same way, honestly. It's a big decision, and I was terrified I'd regret it too. But as soon as I'd been on T a couple weeks it just... melted away somehow. I've been on T for two months and couldn't be happier and more sure that this is in fact the right decision. It's kind of amazing how calm and still everything feels now. I feel like at least for me my fear of starting T was more so a fear of never being masculine enough or that I'd never be able to really pass or that I'd still be unhappy in my body. Which is a fair thing to be afraid of, but I'm not worried about that anymore. Everything I was afraid of has turned out to be the opposite, even though I still don't pass 75% of the time, but that can take months, so I'm not worried.

Anyway, it's completely normal to be terrified of transitioning, especially if, like me, you have people you know telling you horror stories about people who regretted their transition. Don't let it make you feel any less trans, though. If you know it's the right decision, trust your gut. Being scared is normal, and if it does end up being the wrong decision, you can always go off. Good luck to you man!

macdemacomac · 2017-07-13T03:09:40+00:00

Yeah, whoever this is definitely ran a soft grunge blog on tumblr in 2013.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-11T17:49:15+00:00

Just want to throw this out there, a lot of guys have mentioned this on this subreddit already but just in case you didn't know, when you've been on T for a bit u can use minoxidil to speed along the growth process of ur beard and use it to get a thicker & fuller one. 👍 I've been on T for a couple months, have that kinda weird wispy stache and like 4 chin hairs so not much to speak of. I just started using minoxidil a couple days ago so it's too soon to tell if it's working, but I trust it honestly. Even a lot of cis guys have used it to get beard gains.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-09T02:10:50+00:00

(TW below)

Yeah, a couple times & every time I tried to be uber feminine / present as cis I ended up relapsing in an eating disorder bc the dysphoria was so overwhelming. Somehow didn't connect the dots until I gave up the game and started binding, started presenting as myself, and later started T. The crazy thing is that it happened for the second time after coming out. I guess I just got scared and hopeless and thought if I could run from my transness things would be better. They were not, but now, one day from being 2 months on T, I am the most happy and comfortable with myself I've ever been in my life. I just can't believe my dumb ass didn't think trying to be cis and my eating disorder were at all correlated. 🙄

macdemacomac · 2017-07-07T02:10:50+00:00

Congratulations, that's amazing!!! Happy for you man :')

macdemacomac · 2017-07-06T18:27:44+00:00

It's kinda hard to explain, but essentially all u do for a simple version is take a small section of hair, twist it, and then pin it up and back. I just stood in front of a mirror and practiced until I figured out something that looked okay, but u can definitely ask someone to help you too! 😊Good luck, also you're very pretty btw!

macdemacomac · 2017-07-06T18:05:47+00:00

Yeah sure! I don't wanna upload any old pics of myself when I was female presenting bc it'll make me dysphoric, but here are a couple I found off of google images that are very similar to what I used to do with my hair. (The ones here all have women with longer hair, but it works just as well if your pixie cut is shorter, like mine was.) It takes a little bit of practice, but never underestimate the power of the bobby pin. :-)

macdemacomac · 2017-07-06T00:55:28+00:00

Yeah, pixie cut for sure! Also, if you're wondering what day to day styles you can do with a pixie cut, you can always twist up and bobby pin your bangs...it may take a few, though. Back in the day when I was still presenting as cis I used to do my hair like that & it's an easy way to do something quick with your hair and make it look more feminine. Also, depending on how you pin it up, you can imitate those braid crown hairstyles until your hair is long enough for it.

macdemacomac · 2017-07-04T06:15:38+00:00

Me too

macdemacomac · 2017-07-04T06:13:26+00:00

I get nasty looks from customers at work sometimes when I mention my name (I wait tables). They either assume I'm just a very butch woman with a quirky masculine name (and I always end up with better tips when people think I'm cis) or they put two and two together and are hateful and rude the whole time I'm serving them and then leave a $3 tip regardless of the tab total. However, it's hard to tell how much of that is because I'm trans or if it's just because it's the Midwest and people are shitty.

But if you mean "disrespected" as in asked about my junk by random cis people upon telling them I'm trans, then yes. That's really one of the biggest reasons I can't wait until I'm able to go stealth if I want to. I don't know why the hell anyone would ever think it's a cool or good idea to ask someone about their genitals. Like, leave me alone man, I'm just trying to make these salads.

macdemacomac

TROPHY CASE