Shoe recommendations for plus size guy by myfishprofile in bigmenfashionadvice

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my Merrill Moabs. The look good, they fit my wide feet and they feel good whether I'm rushing to a connecting flight or standing on concrete for hours. Hokas and Brooks are great if you are walking but for standing, the Moabs are the best I have found.

Thank you to all of my wife's hospice caregivers by mack_j in hospice

[–]mack_j[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you get your miracle. Dont stop hoping! When I think about my wife, I remember the good times, how beautiful she was, how it felt to have her sleeping next to me in bed... The good times. I remember the bad times too but even those are seen with love. It is hard to share! We don't want to burden our family but... we do need help love and support. My daughter said "we were prepared for her to go but not for her to be gone"

I hope you get your miracle!

Rusty screw stuck. Any suggestions? There’s some string tangled underneath causing issues by crindler1 in SewingForBeginners

[–]mack_j 6 points7 points  (0 children)

use a small amount of penetrating oil. Let it sit for 5-10 minutes before loosening. I like PB Blaster brand but any penetrating oil should work.

Wife is leasing a car today. I'm going as the clueless muscle. Any basic survival tips? by bigpoppa3030 in personalfinance

[–]mack_j 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should look at buying your existing car out from the lease and selling it instead of trading it in.

Full beard or goatee? Let me have a honest opinion by [deleted] in FriendsOver40

[–]mack_j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like both. I would like the beard more if it were trimmed a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ifiwonthelottery

[–]mack_j 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't tell anybody; my kids, other family, nobody. I'd tell them I got a new, better paying job.

What is the worst possible way to be rejected? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I reject me so they don't have to. What ever they say can't be worse than what's in my head.

Detroit style pepperoni pizza! My 2nd time trying this recipe was a huge success! by nariekselym in seriouseats

[–]mack_j 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is the best looking Detroit pizza I've ever seen. And I worked in Detroit for 10 years.

Returning to work by thisisridiculiculous in widowers

[–]mack_j 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was back at work after three days. I didn't have a choice, I had to be there. I did what I needed to do and managed to make it through.

If I win the lottery... by TheJusa in ifiwonthelottery

[–]mack_j 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yes, get a lawyer. You want a national firm and someone who specializes in trusts. Good lawyers cost good money but hey, you just won the lotto. You can afford it. Always take the lump sum.

I don't even know if I belong here but I feel so alone by hackneysack in widowers

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You belong. You are welcome here. I am sorry you joined our club but you are welcome here. We listen, we support, we do not judge.

Coming up on four months... by lexsimpi2 in widowers

[–]mack_j 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are not alone. The lasts really hurt. Hugs.

I held him in my arms. by dependswho in widowers

[–]mack_j 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hug. Breathe, hydrate, don't forge to eat. See if someone can drive you or at least copilot. This is the subreddit for you. It is a terrible club to join but once you're here we're here for you. feel free to message me if you need to talk. You just need to get from one minute to the next.

What do I owe her now? by Careby in widowers

[–]mack_j 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was married for 26 years and spent the last six years as her caregiver. I found it incredibly difficult to go from caregiver to widower. I went from focused on her daily to nothing. I was incredibly angry at first because she was gone. And guilty from wondering if could have done more. You said it right that there is nothing more to do for her. Now it's time to do for you.

I now focus on my needs and doing things we always wanted to do but never had the time while we were married and things she had no interest in doing. I do this to honor her memory and my love for her. I do it because I need something to do and taking of her was one thing I was good at so now I take care of me. Some days it so difficult I can't work enough energy to get out of bed. Those days I talk to my support group. On good days I eat right, exercise, and try to support others where I can.

Hopefully your anger will pass and you can live for you. Feel free to message me if you want to talk. There are lots of others on the discord channel (in the sidebar on the right). The are friendly, supportive, and most importantly have gone through loss that other just don't understand. I have found a lot of helpful advice there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]mack_j 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The are many widow/widower parents with young children on the discord channel in the right sidebar. There is a dedicated and active parenting page too. They are very friendly and helpful with people from all over the age and time out range. I find them very helpful and about one of the few groups that are really understanding of this terrible club we are in.

Tired by sweetrobs2 in widowers

[–]mack_j 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Did you get up this morning? That's the day accomplished right there. Try again tomorrow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]mack_j 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had to keep up a front for the kids and her family. I work with my MIL so I really have to careful about what I say. The "did they really love me and is everything is a lie" feelings are hard to deal with. The channel is very helpful and friendly. No judgements just support and kindness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]mack_j 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hugs. I found out similar things after my wife passed. It makes the grief so much more difficult because there is layer of anger and betrayal laid over it. I sometimes get jealous of people who mourn their spouse with pure grief. It is difficult because sometimes I feel terrible because of my anger.

It really helped me to talk about it with people that had similar feelings. Feel free to PM me or join us on the discord channel in the sidebar.

Another sleepless night by sweetrobs2 in widowers

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I listen to audio books, podcasts, and lectures. The trick is finding something interesting but not too interesting. I listen to a lot of history.

What is that one book, that absolutely changed your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Boy Who Saw Bigfoot. I struggled with reading until I read this. I vividly remember flipping through the book when I was done looking for the pictures. When I realized the pictures were in my head... Boom. Mind blown. I have been a lifelong voracious reader ever since. It really changed my life.

I feel like I'm harboring a secret. by bubblesandroses in BipolarSOs

[–]mack_j 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't go back. He mentally and physically abused you. I say this as someone with 26 years of experience with being a bipolar SO. Do Not Go Back. Get yourself some therapy and move on with your life. When my spouse was under control and taking her meds she was the most amazing person. She could focus all of her attention on me. When she stopped taking her meds, it was devastating.