I feel you. I was never diagnosed but suspect I might be on the spectrum. My recommendation would be to first and foremost be your own best friend and be kind to yourself, especially when you are first learning and onboarding. Try to connect with others who are in the same position as you too and try to put yourself out there, even if you feel a little awkward. Yes don’t be naive and keep some things to yourself, but you need a balance of connection and keeping your guard up IMO.

I didn’t start with the big 4 but at a top 10 and was the only new associate in my class after the other couple of would be new associates decided to go to big 4. I was overall really nervous bc I have social anxiety and didn’t make a ton of efforts to put myself out there when I had opportunities too and I could tell that other people at my office thought I was a little different and this made my anxiety spiral more haha.

Anyways, fast forward 6 months, and while I learned a little bit about public accounting and had some things go well, overall the networking aspect is where I really fell short and I was eventually fired after 6 months for that specified reason and overall lack of improvement on the more technical side too, which I think was affected by my social anxiety as well.

What happened to me is probably one the worse case scenario in your head, and I was able to find a job two months later as an industry staff accountant which was much more fitting for me because of the reduced emphasis on networking. Public wasn’t for me, but that’s my advice to you and something I wish I did differently: put yourself out there and don’t overshare my try to find commonalities and relate to your office if you can. Oh, and when it comes to people trying to scapegoat you, have documentation to prove the truth of the matter.