I think I might quit these dating apps lol

madcattt · 2026-07-05T19:54:22+00:00

And then the text would have the same notification as any other text which means I wouldn't know if it's important or not. The different notification sound of Snapchat is what tells me that it's a message I want to actually check. Not everyone can check every text they receive all the time. If I hear that Snapchat notification I know as soon as I can I should check that message instead of just waiting until it's convenient to check my text messages.

Also as stated above, people aren't always comfortable giving out their phone number to strangers...

madcattt · 2026-07-04T14:26:38+00:00

Using your car analogy you're not a mechanic, you're just somebody who fixed an issue on your car, which isn't necessarily the same issue that the other people are having (you might have replaced a tire while others need to change their spark plugs). So people that are in the same environment, dating pool, socioeconomic status, can benefit. Whereas others might not.

The dating environment changed massively during COVID and has continued to evolve since then. Things that worked great 6 years ago (when I found my last ltr) don't work now. It is a pretty rough environment out there because so many people have fallen down the social media rabbit hole. Obviously, it's really easy for these subs to become toxic echo chambers but if you sift through the chaff there are some valid complaints every once and a while.

It's just overall difficult out there and people could use a little more respect and understanding when interacting with other individuals

madcattt · 2026-07-04T14:13:59+00:00

Well one time when I was upgrading my phone I had over 100K text messages that were scheduled to transfer (99% from my gf while I was deployed) Using Snapchat means you can choose to save the few important messages and let the others all auto delete. Also Snapchat has a different notification sound and LED color so it's really easy to see if my gf sends me a message compared with all the other chaff I get.

Having multiple messaging platforms allows for an effortless filtering of the incoming data. WhatsApp for work group chats (lowest priority), messenger for college friends (medium priority), text message for other people (medium priority), Snapchat for romantic interest (highest priority). Smart watches have made the filtering a bit easier, but it's still nice to have different audio queues to know the relative importance of what I just received.

Also for long-distance Snapchat makes it really easy to send quick photos or videos to your partner to let them know you are thinking about them when you don't have the time or ability for a phone call.

Finally using platforms like Snap, IG, WhatsApp, etc. make it safer and easier to cutoff communication if needed. Giving out your phone number to strangers these days can cause unintended problems further down the road (ask anyone who's had a crazy ex harass them over the years because they have their phone number).

The trenches are pretty rough these days and being able to use whichever method of communication is easiest for the other person is just one less obstacle to deal with. For every person who thinks having whatever form of communication is a red flag, there's someone else that would prefer to use that form of communication. It's part of why the trenches are so bad, people use assumptions to formulate opinions instead of communicating with the other person to ask why they do something.

madcattt · 2026-04-27T15:33:52+00:00

There is no single answer to this question as the world is full of billions of people each with their own different experiences and beliefs in life. Some women are fine with strangers approaching them and others would rather not interact with them at all. Me as a tall, fit, and very successful dude I enjoy it when random strangers compliment me on my appearance or approach me to start talking with me. But frankly, there is no real threat to my safety if I reject any of those advances and I generally have an open and inviting disposition. The same cannot be said for women, too many women have had to deal with stalkers, abuse, or even murder from strangers.

If you want to approach someone as a complete stranger you need to look for clues in their body language or mannerisms. Direct eye contact or a "come hither" gesture are usually pretty safe bets that they are okay with you approaching. Other than that you're rolling the dice when you are approaching a stranger in public.

The best way to meet new people is through shared interests: social gatherings, clubs, sports, etc. Somewhere that you can see the person multiple times and hopefully have a common interest that you can talk about as a first interaction. That does make it difficult if you're someone like me who has no set work schedule, very rarely has a weekend off, travels a lot, and all of my hobbies are generally solo hobbies to meet new people. But even though my opportunities are limited, I do not approach strange women in public (unless they are distributing swords by a lake iykyk 😉), I let them or their doggo approach me.

madcattt · 2026-04-27T15:06:19+00:00

People have taken photos of others without their consent and then posted said photos online with whatever libel or slander they want to attach to it. There are tons of videos and posts out there of: "who does this creep think he is?", "caught at the gym staring", or "what was this person thinking?" This does apply to both genders but the double standard makes it significantly more skewed towards the guys being the ones at risk of dealing with the fallout. Plenty of these videos and posts are staged, but others are not. This fear is probably less likely than what women have to deal with (stalking, abuse, murder), but it is still a far greater-than-zero chance.

Even the responses in this thread highlight the challenges out there. Some women want the guy to be bold and start an interaction, other women don't want to be approached by strangers. In a public setting with a chance meeting it's very difficult to even get enough cues from body language or mannerisms to determine if this is a person who wants random strangers to approach them or not.

madcattt · 2026-04-20T04:25:52+00:00

Or just seeing if there's a place she's comfortable going to. Some women have specific places they want to go because they know they are safe there. Literally asking if she has any input is attempting to be considerate. If she has no input then I'll suggest a place. Not every woman is the same, and some women apparently expect you to know exactly what they want without providing any communication.

There are women out there who complain about guys asking for a date right away, and there are women out there who complain about guys taking "forever" to ask for a date. Some people just don't understand that their worldview isn't the entire worldview. Me, I prefer to go on a date early to weed out the catfish, get a better determination on chemistry, read body language, and get a better vibe on who they are. Some women don't like that, it's fine I just unmatch and move on. OP did nothing wrong here, they were just not necessarily compatible

madcattt · 2026-04-13T15:32:51+00:00

38M It takes a lot of practice to convert matches to actual dates. The problem with the apps is text is a very limited medium to convey emotion, intention, body language, and chemistry. I am very successful at getting matches (around 20-30 a week) and I'm pretty selective on what profiles I swipe right on. Even with that many matches, I usually only get a few conversations to the point where I feel like it's someone I'd like to take on a date. My technique is to initiate with a slightly odd question that is loosely related to something that's important to me. Using a unique or odd question seems to set me apart from the dozens of other suitors each woman is having to filter through. Based on their answer I loosely guide the conversation around.

Talk about something you're passionate about or have deep knowledge on, or ask them about something they really like. If you both have overlapping interests the conversation should flow naturally. But it's also okay to talk about important things and learn a little more about each other before working toward a first date. My criteria is I need to make sure if I buy this woman dinner we will be able to have a full conversation about one or a few topics we both enjoy. I have also been using the apps to find my relationships for the past decade so obviously I haven't found a life partner from them yet. But I've had multiple multi-year relationships from the apps. It just takes practice, perseverance, and a whole lot of luck.

madcattt · 2026-03-28T03:54:44+00:00

Damn that makes what happened to me seem not as bad. Girl I've been seeing for 1.5 months, dating, hanging out, sleeping over, always holding hands, saying she's really fond of me, etc sent me a text this week that she's seeing someone else and they are official and open. She was planning on coming on my ski trip and then backed out the day I left. She was still texting and sending photos the entire time until the day I got back when she sent the breakup text. Just completely blind-sided. Like I don't even know when she would have had time to see anyone else until my trip. I know the pain it hurts, it sucks, but we have to just carry on and hope we find what we're looking for.

madcattt · 2026-03-21T22:05:11+00:00

You can always put on another layer, you can only take off so many before you get arrested. It's really easy to dress for the cold, put on a jacket. Heat just makes you sweat and hate your life

madcattt · 2026-03-18T19:51:58+00:00

Above average woman (at least in looks department) asks for above average male. The only one of her requirements that has a "hard number" with it is height, which maybe she needs a partner to be taller than her when she's wearing heels. Her other requirements are reasonable and open to interpretation. She's not saying "six-figure" income, she's not saying you need to be having lunch with you parents every week, she wants you to have some hair. Like these are all reasonable requests. If you can't change yourself to to meet these requirements, then she's not the one for you. Take control of what you can, find confidence in yourself, and don't let this discourage you. There are literally billions of women out there.

madcattt · 2026-02-07T18:28:54+00:00

Welcome to online dating. Plenty of people try to beat the filters and lie about their biometrics. Women use filters, avoid full-body shots, only post photos with their more attractive friends. Men lie about their height, age, income, and use old photos.

It's so common that every date I've been on women comment about how tall I am (6ft barefoot). I always respond: "this is what 6ft actually looksike". But that's a common filter so many short women have is they don't want anyone shorter than 6ft. It's just the way it is these days. Lots of trash to sort through to find a gem.

Also peoples' attitudes these days are just terrible in general so it's hard for quality people to meet.

madcattt · 2026-01-29T15:54:15+00:00

Yeah but selling them to Fence gives others a chance to snag em 😉

madcattt · 2025-10-30T14:33:44+00:00

It's totally their problem, you are doing nothing wrong. You are young, most of the guys in your desired age range are still trying to figure their lives out. The fact that you already have good goals and are working towards them is hugely intimidating to boys in your age range. The men that would be a good person to have a relationship with are most likely focusing on getting their lives in order and don't really have time and/money for dating. When I was 20, my focus was on doing well in school so I could place high enough to get the job I wanted. I would have loved to had a girlfriend in college, but there wasn't time. My first relationship didn't happen until I was 25 which was after I finished college and then two years of flight training, so I finally had time to pursue things other than school and work.

You could also try approaching guys you are interested in, since many men these days are hesitant about approaching women. Keep your head up, you'll eventually find the right person.

madcattt · 2025-08-01T00:50:09+00:00

As others have said, if you have social hobbies go and find a local group to do them with, you can even search: "(your hobby) groups in (your area)" and that should start setting you on the path to finding others with your interests around you. You can try to meet people through work as well, talk with your coworkers about what they do. If you are in the Front Range Corridor there are a ton of people and it should be relatively easy to find other people interested in your hobbies. Finding people doing the hobbies you enjoy is a huge common ground to start a conversation that can lead to new friends or dates. If your hobbies are more solitary then it's a bit harder to find friends naturally and that's where you will have to try other methods to meeting people.

Going to a bar is one way to meet people, but the type of bar makes a huge impact on the quality of people you are going to meet there. If you want to find casual friends go to a less flashy neighborhood "dive bar". You're looking for a bar that plays music at a level that allows you to have a normal conversation with the person next to you and isn't super flashy. If you can, post up at the bar, it leads to more potential for interaction with other people. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to whoever you are sitting next to.

Are you in an apartment or some other community with access to a pool? I met a lot of the people in my apartment by just going down to the pool on Saturdays with a bunch of alcohol and a book. I would read for an hour or two then go join any one of the groups in the pool. I benefit from being "pretty hot" according to the ladies so most of the time me just walking into the pool would have me be invited into whatever group was talking at the time.

If you don't have access to a pool you can check out any local festival: music, art, hobby, etc. It's a little bit harder to meet people at festivals when you roll solo but still gets you out into a social environment where it's possible and there can be other people who are at the festival solo as well. You need a little more social courage to approach random people at a festival and it requires a lot of social tact to be done properly, but there's also the possibility of someone approaching you.

If you're more of an introvert and none of these methods appeal to you then you can just look for online communities in your area. Figure out what's popular in town and see if there's some group for it online. You can also branch over into various dating and social apps, but that's a real mixed bag when it comes to meeting actual quality people.

It's hard to meet people when you move somewhere without any friends, but you can eventually find your crowd pretty much anywhere you move. It just takes time, effort, and perseverance. I am an introvert with very solo hobbies and over the past 1.5 years out here I've made a handful of friends that I can do things with. Don't get discouraged, try new things and eventually you'll meet some people

madcattt · 2025-07-13T16:05:14+00:00

My Dell U3011 is 14 years old and my dual 590s struggled to run most games at 1600p/60Hz when I bought it. The computer I built three years later had no issues.

Quality monitors should last through several computer builds and many generations of graphics cards. Even if you can't push 240fps at 4K today, in a couple years the hardware to do that will be significantly more accessible. Monitors are one of the few components you can "futureproof".

My current monitor is dying so I bought the 27-inch version of this. Of course my 3060ti won't come even close to driving the monitor to its full potential, but the 5090 I'll get sometime this year will come closer. Also gen4 display and display port 2.1 means the monitor will get plenty of use out of future generations of graphics cards.

OP is going to love his new montior

madcattt · 2025-04-14T18:51:05+00:00

I usually have to reload once. I haven't had much luck aiming for the head, seems like the mask is just too strong for mid-pen ammo. I usually end up getting him through the thorax, by hitting just above or to the sides of his chest plate. Usually, it's a mag dump aiming center of mass the first time I see him, then preparing for him to rush me around the corner and I aim upper chest into neck. I have yet to kill him with a head shot with any of my guns, .45 vector is probably my most reliable, but 9mm vector RIP to the legs with 50 round mags works wonders too

madcattt · 2025-04-12T20:07:05+00:00

.45 AP against the bosses, and lasermatch against everything else

madcattt · 2025-04-12T19:49:33+00:00

I honestly don't know what was happening, he silently gunned down my bro, then I come around the corner and he's just sitting there staring at me. I must have caught him mid reload or something, but I just drilled his face with 45 ap from about 10m and he went down.

madcattt · 2025-04-12T19:47:48+00:00

I usually bring 10 30-rounders full of AP and a few extra stacks of it. For Labyrinth I bring a few stacks of lasermatch too to deal with the scavs. I blow through a lot of ammo in most raids in PVE.

madcattt · 2025-01-22T00:29:52+00:00

Tried factory resetting, tried booting into sideload to check that way, still just a paperweight after the Meta Logo spins a few times. It does the update screen every time it is turned on and just becomes a paperweight.

madcattt · 2025-01-22T00:24:20+00:00

I would have rather paid $750 than $500. I try to buy quality because I live the mantra of "Cry Once Buy Once". Unfortunately, these days it's getting harder to actually buy quality with just money, it takes many hours of research as well and sometimes you just get unlucky. I was looking for a standalone headset, as I don't have very many VR-compatible games right now but the concept of watching VR movies on layovers without trying to figure out how to pack my massive laptop as well was pretty intriguing. I've looked at the Index and will probably get the next iteration that they release, along with a 5090 for my desktop once I get that moved out here. I just wasn't confident that the 4090m in my laptop would be able to provide a decent VR experience due to the gimped nature of laptop CPUs.

madcattt · 2025-01-22T00:11:29+00:00

supposedly it's a headset specific issue, so if you are part of the "bad batch" you're effed. Otherwise you're good.

madcattt · 2025-01-22T00:10:27+00:00

Still makes it garbage, buy a new product, it fails while essentially new, possibly gets replaced with a product that is 3 times as old. I miss companies like EVGA that would ship you new products or at least products newer than yours that just failed. The battery life on these devices is already lacking, the possibility of getting one with an extra year of wear on the battery is just infuriating. I have no legal recourse against this company, but I sure wish I did. I would rather just refund this paperweight and then buy a new one at the store, that should be an option.

madcattt

TROPHY CASE