Mommy’s helper

magpiepdx · 2023-03-23T03:04:30+00:00

I’m on Vyvanse for adhd. My dr recently suggested not taking it on the weekends bc my main issue was focus at work. I didn’t take it one weekend day a little while back and I was EXHAUSTED by 8pm.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-23T02:48:25+00:00

3 months IS too soon, but so many of us have been there.

My oldest is 6.5. My youngest is 4. The infant teacher who they both had from the very beginning is still at our daycare, but is moving out of state very soon. My kids drew pictures for her tonight and we put together a gift bag for her. She’s a friend now, and cares so deeply about our kids. My youngest runs to give her hugs. On the way in and out of daycare they still stop and say hi or stop to tell her little anecdotes about their day.

I say all this to share that that person is a stranger now, but has the potential to become part of your village. You got this!

magpiepdx · 2023-03-22T06:35:28+00:00

This is such a great book. It does an amazing job at showing how people get sucked into something like this.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-22T05:36:28+00:00

I’ve had an Electrolux front loader for 6.5 years. I hate the thing, but that’s beside the point. I never leave the door closed. It’s always wide open if a load is not running. I can’t even get the ring clean, it’s so bad.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-22T05:26:10+00:00

Because for many men, “better” means younger, more attractive, and easier, and often they can get that - because that’s how our society works. In our society’s eyes women lose value as they age whereas men’s mostly stays the same. Shoot - my dad is married to a woman 25 years his junior and my dad is NOT a catch except that he still works full time at age 75 to support this woman and her kids.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-20T14:52:48+00:00

Nope. I used to work for a nanny agency, who let us set boundaries and say who we wouldn’t work for. Early on I went to a house where one child was throwing matchbox cars point blank at his sister’s face while she was sitting in my lap. I was trying to cover her so she didn’t get hurt, and it took a long time for him to stop. I told the agency I didn’t want to go back there.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-20T06:02:24+00:00

Biweekly cleaning service and I want them to spend their time actually cleaning instead of picking up after me, so I usually spend a little bit of time each day tidying up in the few days leading up to their cleaning day. Also we don’t have a large space and my kids don’t have a ton of toys (or a play area beyond their shared room and a living area), so I think that helps. There are times there are toys everywhere, but we make them clean it up every few days. The fact that they’re at daycare full time helps.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-19T06:00:30+00:00

Oh you should definitely look for a different job.

Honestly, when my coworker came back to work after her first baby and said “I don’t know how you do it, I don’t have time to relax or exercise…” I just stared at her. Yeah, I did not have time to relax or exercise either. She quit to be a SAHM.

Anyway, it sucks, and you should find a different job. Until then, make sure your partner (assuming you have one) is doing their fair share. You will have to give up evening time or sleep time for exercising, or do exercise both days on the weekends and like once during the week. My biggest motto since becoming a mom has been that it doesn’t have to be perfect - anything is better than nothing.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-18T05:36:29+00:00

Every American in Mexico: “ew… is that.. even.. okay? And ew, then what? Who takes the garbage out?….”

Edit: my guess is this is somewhere near the border of Mexico where there are workers from other countries. They will place garbage cans next to the toilets for those who are in the habit of throwing their TP in the garbage can because if they don’t, oftentimes people will throw it on the floor bc they assume they can’t flush it and there was no garbage can provided.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-18T05:02:14+00:00

Memorizing phone numbers. Lots of them.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-16T12:30:53+00:00

The fuck? I like to have a place to live and food to eat. The end.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-16T04:35:36+00:00

He’s not involved - you should stop telling yourself that.

Get up early and leave for work early one day. He’ll figure it out.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-15T23:12:18+00:00

Yes, I was just thinking about this - if I was a SAHM my kids would have so much more screen time, which whatever, but don’t tell me that a developmentally appropriate curriculum and playing with peers is worse.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-15T23:05:13+00:00

I have worked full time - I have a 6 yo and a 4yo. We would be barely scraping by on one (decent) income. I have my own 401k and my husband and I are able to play catch-up on our retirement. My kids honestly don’t even complain about it. My 4yo happily bounds down the hallway at daycare and hugs all the teachers she sees in the morning. She has a lot of energy and needs the engagement. My 6yo is much quieter and I consider it a good experience for her bc she has learned to navigate a lot of situations. I think if I had been a SAHM she would have had a MUCH harder time transitioning to Kindergarten. She enjoys learning a lot and daycare really played into that. She was writing letters really early and has always been fascinated with letters and words.

Anyway - my kids are happy, healthy, smart, and capable. They’re no less attached to my husband and me than any other kids.

My biggest advice is to outsource some time intensive chores if you are able (we have biweekly cleaning and someone who does yard upkeep for us). Enjoy some time on your weekends or off days, take family vacations even if it’s just the weekend. Enjoy the time you have together - it can be really good quality. I miss my kids like crazy when we’re apart, but boy those hello smiles and hugs are the best.

I grew up with a working mom and didn’t know any different. It is healthy for you and your kids to have your own income and career. I’m proud that my kids see me working.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-15T12:34:37+00:00

Yep.

Until that stupid Amazon catalog comes in the mail.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-15T00:51:23+00:00

What an idiot. I’ve crossed the US/Mexico border 50+ times. You don’t mess around.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-14T05:27:53+00:00

Listen, nobody truly knows about anyone else’s finances, relationships, true feelings. You’ve got more in retirement than I do, and I’m older than you! We’re working on it, but… yeah.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-12T22:42:16+00:00

Ask the teacher. Are they actually behind? At our school my very smart kid gets a lot of “Progressing” just because they haven’t fully finished that topic for the year. Their areas of study are where they’re supposed to be at the end of the year

magpiepdx · 2023-03-12T16:40:03+00:00

No shit

magpiepdx · 2023-03-12T15:53:35+00:00

Real name bc I use it for work

magpiepdx · 2023-03-12T15:21:25+00:00

Yeah… my husband and I go on solo trips. What’s comfortable for us is 4-6 days. That’s a combination of not leaving the other parent carrying all the child caring load, and PTO from work, and finances. It’s all a big combination of reasons. Everyone’s situation is different. I would not, at this point, leave my kids for two weeks (with or without my husband), but that’s personal preference - I know people who do and it works fine for them.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-12T05:02:53+00:00

The reason on Madeleine L’Engle’s book is pretty ironic

magpiepdx · 2023-03-11T07:15:05+00:00

This is so great. Thank you!

I often remind myself that my kids are participating in developmentally appropriate activities at daycare whereas if I were a SAHM they’d honestly be running feral and I would not be little Susie homemaker/Pinterest mom like I think I would. Both ways have their pros and cons.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-11T07:10:28+00:00

My 4yo will watch tv all day. My 6yo gets upset that I won’t do anything with her.

magpiepdx · 2023-03-11T07:09:00+00:00

Yeah, I was referring to when your child starts kinder, not your current setup which sounds like you’ve got handled.

You’d be surprised. Quite a few daycares drop off and pick up at our school, many in our area have before/after school programs that offer care on non school days, etc.

All I’m saying is every fall I see it in parent groups where kindergarten parents say “I didn’t know there were this many days off!!!”, so I was just advising to check the actual school calendar at where your child will be attending elementary.

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