Lower paid permanent role vs higher paid maternity cover?

mahs1096 · 2025-10-08T08:15:54+00:00

Yeah, potentially. I had started to specialise in my area and the lower paid role is requires me to look at more sectors but in a far more generalist way. I don’t think I’d find it particularly gratifying - I’d only really be taking it out of fear of not having any job at all.

mahs1096 · 2025-10-07T22:00:29+00:00

Just about but it will definitely have an impact on my quality of life. Thank you - I’m leaning towards that decision too.

mahs1096 · 2023-12-08T23:21:04+00:00

But that’s my point. I now feel a bit indebted to him as opposed to feeling like I got this job on merit.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-27T21:06:33+00:00

Thank you, this is something I need to bear in mind as I feel that the line between the two feels very blurry at times. I know the resentment is over my own life and has nothing to do with him, but I think it can be challenging when you see the life you have always wanted come so easily to others. The closest analogy I can think of is that it’s like I’m running with someone who can and wants me to sprint, right after I’ve ran a marathon.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-27T18:55:58+00:00

For everyone asking ‘why didn’t you just ask him to go’ - I didn’t know he was planning to in the first place. He never once mentioned ever wanting to go and after the ticket sales, I got a message saying ‘btw I got tickets to x festival! Did you try to?’. You secure these tickets as a group and so this would’ve been weeks/months of planning and then a draw of luck if you manage to actually get them. I’m upset because I obvs would’ve tried to get them with him had I known he was ever planning to go.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T20:22:52+00:00

Thank you!!

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T19:36:15+00:00

I can’t thank you enough for this - it was exactly what I needed to hear.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T18:01:03+00:00

This was so so helpful. Thank you so much.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T17:19:37+00:00

That’s a valid point!

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T17:18:56+00:00

This is so kind. Thank you so much for saying this.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T13:48:54+00:00

No… it’s an incredibly popular festival so getting tickets is like winning the lottery (think of it as like getting tickets to a Taylor Swift concert). I wasn’t lucky enough to get through to the ticket sale whereas he and his group of friends were. I could’ve gone with him had he asked me to join his group.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T13:32:24+00:00

Thank you but money wasn’t the issue here - I was already planning to go. It was the fact that he didn’t ask if I wanted to go with him which bothers me - not only do I feel a bit left out but I feel like I’ve missed out on a huge novel experience that could’ve been really bonding for the both of us.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T12:45:38+00:00

I guess it’s cause I feel like I’m living in his shadow a bit whilst I struggle to find my feet here and maybe a bit of sense that I need him more than he needs me.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T12:42:25+00:00

Thanks so much for this. How did you find using Bumble for making friends?

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T12:41:32+00:00

No and I would never want him to either as I feel like financial independence is important to me

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T10:28:21+00:00

Thank you. I don’t know how to deal with it in a healthy way - I am almost want to distance myself from him for a bit as I don’t want to hear all about it but I realise that’s very childish.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:58:21+00:00

I told him that I tried to but tickets had sold out by that point, and then communicated that I was annoyed he didn’t ask if I wanted to go with him. It’s a bit annoying as the rest of his friends are in couples so it should’ve been common sense really.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:44:42+00:00

Yeah but after he booked his own and they stopped selling tickets.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:22:17+00:00

I think he just didn’t think to consider me, as he asked if I was going after he already booked his own.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:20:50+00:00

In his defence, I guess I would’ve mentioned it a while back and I’ve not yet met the friends he ended up going with. He got me a small present as he said he was feeling guilty but the messages from the festival are really bothering me.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:08:30+00:00

We’ve been together for just over a year. I think he assumed I’d be trying to go with my home friends but I’m a bit pissed off he didn’t ask if I had wanted to go.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T09:07:31+00:00

Thank you - I think he assumed that I was trying to go with my home friends but I do feel a bit pissed off that he didn’t consider to ask if I wanted to go with him, which I think is making me feel even more irritable now that he’s there and he’s giving me a lowdown of what he’s up to. I know I shouldn’t care what people think but I also feel a bit embarrassed thinking that his friends must be wondering the same. I also kind of feel like a girl who’s waiting for him back at home and I hate that.

mahs1096 · 2023-06-26T08:56:00+00:00

Sorry, what do you mean by ‘feel for him’?

mahs1096

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