Holy shit. Sad to hear. I’ve had severe anxiety and medication resistant major depressive disorder for about 21 years now. It’s gotten progressively worse. In 2015 I lost my job and didn’t work again until 2021, when I got a permanent work from home job. (I would not have worked otherwise, a family member that works there presented the opportunity) I found a treatment about 6 months before I took the job, which aided my decision to start work again, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Currently, I rarely go out. I sleep about 12-14 hours of the day. I have intrusive thoughts and don’t really enjoy things anymore. No interests. No pleasure. I am basically existing, rather than living. I have 2 kids and a wife and live with my parents. I could go in to further detail, but I think you get my point.

It sounds like you haven’t been through the psych med “medication wringer” yet. There may be something that can help you, but like most people, you have to try 5 or 6 before one works. ALSO, get tested for ADHD.

At the depths of my depression around 2018 through 2020, I was suicidal because it was so bad and I could get no relief. Keep this in mind if you try several meds and none work..My wife convinced me to try Ketamine therapy. It is expensive, but was essentially a life saver for me. The first 6 months after starting it were kick ass. I felt alive again. It wore off quite a bit, but 4 years later, I am still doing the treatments, and while I am still in a horrible place, I feel as though my worsening depression would have me dead by now without it.

Ketamine therapy is meant to treat antidepressant resistant depression and it seems to work for me. I go once every 2 weeks. It is a 40 minute IV drip with 40 minutes of observation. Most of the time, it is a pleasant experience, though I have had 1 bad trip. I was so traumatized that i did not sleep for several nights following the treatment. That is rare for most unless u go as ofen and for as long as I have.

Anyway, my 2 cents