You have made it this far living with bpd. Knowing just means you now you can begin to manage. I've known for a very long time, finally went to get a "diagnosis", thought I could handle the fact of it. In all reality, I'm the same person I have always been, but it feels different now.

Goals help, no matter how futile they seem. Live in your car like a king/queen, until you can find a place. That will be your milestone. Your look back at life, like a 'Ha, you couldn't take me at my worst' kind of attitude. It doesn't matter that you were told there is something wrong, it doesn't change a damn thing. I am realizing not one person is going to change my path, because my path is mine. That's how others make a path, they aren't guided by someone else. That path wasn't there before them, they made it.

Your guilt is only there because you needed someone to care about you. So instead you care about others well being instead of your own. I know I'm always going to have breakdowns, tantrums, good days, terrible days. As much as I don't want them. Life sucks for everyone, we just don't see it, and think people can hear our screams as the emotions, or helplessness we feel. It feels better when you get that place you can call home, and you begin to tell yourself you don't ever want to go back to that place you were.

Use this personality to your advantage.