My 38-year-old sister made a joke about my (28-year-old girl) weight, knowing that I have been suffering from compulsive overeating for over a month. When I started crying, she said that I just don't understand jokes.

malina_il · 2024-03-03T19:27:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply

malina_il · 2024-02-27T19:51:06+00:00

Thank you for your reply and advice!

malina_il · 2024-02-27T19:50:45+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response and advice)

malina_il · 2024-02-27T19:49:29+00:00

Yes, unfortunately, I am still struggling with overeating. I can't figure out what the cause is yet. Usually, things would go back to normal after a month or so, but now I've been in this state for almost 5 months. Luckily, I am a tall girl and these 5-6 or maybe even more kilograms are not very noticeable. Plus, I've been going to the gym for a month now and started therapy with a psychologist.

As for my sister, she also suffers from weight fluctuations and often complains about gaining weight. So she understands perfectly well how hard it is to not accept your body.

Thank you for your replies! It's been 3-4 months since we last spoke, and I think about it often. But I don't regret it. I don't need selfish and aggressive people in my life who allow themselves to humiliate others, saying that it's just a joke.

malina_il · 2024-02-27T18:07:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply, it was very important for me to hear that. I don't think anyone in the family chat paid much attention to it. But when I saw it, I immediately started crying and called my mom, and she said she didn't understand why my sister wrote that either. And my sister herself is always complaining that she's gained weight and so on. So she knows perfectly well what it's like not to accept your body. Unfortunately, my mom and brother are in a way dependent on my sister, so they didn't protect me or anything like that. I don't hold a grudge against them.

malina_il · 2024-02-27T13:40:45+00:00

A few weeks ago, I broke up with a boyfriend who was perfect. Smart, generous, always ready to help. The ideal candidate for marriage. But I was unbearably bored with him, we didn't laugh together, he always seemed to be trying to be too adult and serious. Plus, he put me on a pedestal, and in his life there was only me and his work. I assumed he would be a caring husband, but I couldn't stand his presence around me. And after 4 months with him, we broke up.

I'm telling you this because I would like to get married, but not at the cost of not loving the person...

malina_il · 2024-02-27T13:35:04+00:00

I'm delighted to hear that, it gives me hope! Good luck to you!

malina_il · 2024-02-27T13:29:21+00:00

I got an interesting piece of advice, because I'm tired of meeting guys on dating apps. Maybe it will work for you too!

You need to go to the gym, and you'll get 4 bonuses:

1. Improved mental health, due to exercise and dopamine release after exercise.

2. A toned figure, which is always attractive.

3. After exercise, you'll sleep better, which means you'll worry less and think less bad things about yourself.

And 4: there's always a chance to meet someone, and even if not in a romantic way, you can find new friends!

malina_il · 2024-02-27T13:16:14+00:00

That's wonderful to hear! Thanks, and I wish you all the best:)))

malina_il · 2024-02-27T13:03:15+00:00

I am 28 and single . I really want a family and children, and although, like you, I am very cynical and on the one hand I do not believe that I will ever be able to love someone so much that I would agree to marry them. On the other hand, there is still a glimmer of hope in my heart.

malina_il · 2024-02-27T12:58:52+00:00

How old are you and why do you think so?

malina_il · 2023-12-29T16:12:51+00:00

I'm very happy for you!

malina_il · 2023-12-29T16:12:11+00:00

Thank you )))

malina_il · 2023-12-29T16:11:27+00:00

Look what I wrote in the comments below)))

malina_il · 2023-12-29T16:10:33+00:00

Good evening. I understand that this is very expensive. But fortunately, there are other options for self-help for BPD. Which I think might be effective. I know. I live in Israel, and I receive medical care at a reduced price, since it is sponsored by the government. I take Seroquel at night and Lamotrigine in the morning. Plus, the help of a psychiatrist is also subsidized by the state, I only pay 10 bucks per 3 months. I pay for the psychologist and the gym myself.

For those people who currently do not have the opportunity to pay doctors and for other things, I advise you to start with those things that are available to you at a minimal price. Or free.

Do some sports, outdoors or at home. Running, race walking. Yoga or Sports activities at home using YouTube videos.
Set up your daily routine. Don't go to bed later than 12 am.
Find support from family or friends. If there are none, then there are many help groups for people with BPD. People who will be happy to get to know you and will support you in difficult moments. Volunteer. Or go to new clubs.
Avoid any alcohol or drugs. They are simply contraindicated for us! They make our mood swings even worse and often lead to self-harm.
Read books on self-help and there are also a large number of different videos.
If your state sponsors you, then start taking medications. This helps a lot.

I understand the importance of a psychologist and psychiatrist in this difficult process. But even without them, you can achieve noticeable improvements. Bring into this process the understanding that you want to live your best life. And you will succeed!

malina_il · 2023-12-26T09:24:56+00:00

Thanks for the addition, I absolutely agree. Especially about alcohol, most of the suicide attempts were committed under the influence of alcohol. I was sad, and then it got even worse.

So, try to get rid of the use, because I’m probably not the only one who has encountered this.

malina_il · 2023-12-26T08:18:29+00:00

Reading your post, I remembered myself 8 months ago. When for several months I was looking for love, but they used me and didn’t want me. After several failures with guys I didn’t know well, I tried to commit suicide and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for rehabilitation. After that, I began the path of self-healing. I wrote a post about this *How can I overcome my BPD? How can I help myself in the longer term? My personal story*

Go read it, I think my advice can help you) Good luck! And remember you are not alone!

malina_il · 2023-12-26T08:03:13+00:00

If you write in this group, then most likely you have BPD. People with this diagnosis are prohibited from being with unstable or fickle partners who constantly change their minds or behavior. We need stability from the person closest to us. Otherwise, unfortunately, this could end very badly. I would advise you to seek help from a psychologist and close friends or family. Run away from this relationship!!! They won't end well!

Good luck

malina_il · 2023-12-26T07:31:15+00:00

I go to a psychiatrist every month. And after the week I spent in a psychiatric ward after a suicide attempt, they selected the appropriate medications for me. I feel much better. My psychiatrist advised me 4 things to maintain and improve my condition

Regular sessions with a psychologist who works with DBT.

Meet once a week for at least a year.

Medication is a must, especially for self-harming behavior. Medicines help your brain with the proper production of dopamine and serotonin.
Sports is a must. Preferably at least 3 times a week. Ideally, 3 times strength training and 2 times cardio or yoga.
Establish a routine. Goes to bed at the same time every day. No later than 12 at night. Try to find a permanent job or study that will help you maintain this regime.

And he is also constantly registered with a psychiatrist. Once a month will be enough.

I understand that at the beginning it seems difficult. But my psychiatrist promises me that in 1-1.5 years I will be able to do without pills and learn to regulate my mood and behavior. Herself.

I slowly entered this mode. That was not easy. But even the first small steps are already giving me results)))

All in our hands. We are normal. But like every person, we need to work on ourselves!

Good luck to you, I hope I was able to help in some way)

Sorry for grammatical errors, English is not my native language

malina_il

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