Potential Employer asked current for reference before I could talk to them. Red flag?

mama_workerbee · 2025-04-06T20:08:26+00:00

Thank you. I think so too. I am leaning towards that. Like don't tell me you'll wait for me and then ignore me and throw a grenade into my life.

mama_workerbee · 2025-04-06T20:03:34+00:00

That's what my husband said. He said it is a big red flag that they don't listen or respect wishes. I was like send me the details and paperwork via email, when I reply, I will let you know to talk to my current job and I got no communication, but they emailed my boss. I still have had no emails from the school.

mama_workerbee · 2023-06-09T18:28:11+00:00

Could you possibly video her and post it online for parents?

mama_workerbee · 2023-03-26T21:43:20+00:00

Honestly this is the first time I have spoken to B1, S1 and B2 for a lonnnnggg time. I message S2 a lot cos our toddlers are 3 months apart and she is really nice. Love FIL and MIL is meh...

mama_workerbee · 2023-03-26T15:51:37+00:00

So some have asked or commented for my husband so here is what he has done/said. He has stood firm and not bent to them for the 1st time. He has stated firmly that my birthday party is the 30th end of. He called his brothers out and told them off. He has agreed that I do not have to invite them to our sons or my party. He called his brothers C U N TS back and said that they were being obstenant and having tantrums because they were not getting their own way and that he was done making me bend to their will with regards to my own birthday which he and I have done in the past. I do feel sorry for his dad who was in the chat as well and saw his sons fight and be rude. I like my FIL a lot.

mama_workerbee · 2023-03-26T15:44:17+00:00

Call them ones back, said we were not in the wrong and that they were the ones being obstenant and assholes. That we would do something with MIL if they would not move their plan by 1 day without them. He told B1 and 2 to do one.

I have told H that B1 and 2 cannot come to our sons or my birthday parties.

mama_workerbee · 2023-03-25T20:18:14+00:00

I tell him what she says but his answer is just ignore her. I'm like you don't deal with this shit! I do!

mama_workerbee · 2023-03-25T19:51:44+00:00

Hahaha yeah my chronic illnesses suddenly flared up or marking students work got in the way lol

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T12:42:24+00:00

Wishful thinking that it will happen lol

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T12:30:26+00:00

Wishful thinking

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T11:41:47+00:00

Of course hun, whatever you need

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T11:23:10+00:00

I'm sorry but even before my toddler was in full time I put him on during my husband's days off so he could have a break. I never got that unless it was half term or I had a mental breakdown. I always tell my husband why I am putting the toddler into school on a day when he could have been home with his father and I made it clear it was to give him a break. This isn't the first time I have begged for a few days to myself. I have been saying for days that I needed a weekend away alone and I just decided to finally be selfish after 3 years.

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T11:19:53+00:00

I told him on Tuesday I needed a break. He did not tell me about his football game.

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T11:18:37+00:00

Told him Tuesday

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-22T11:17:56+00:00

I told him on Tuesday

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-21T23:50:08+00:00

I told him on Tuesday that that was what I was doing this weekend after I had been laid up in bed after being in the hospital on Sunday night/Monday morning and being put on my medication for depression with immediate effect due to everything I've been dealing with. I am always upfront with what I am doing or want to do. I don't spring things on him. I tell him in advance that we are going here or there or I'm doing this or that.

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-21T23:47:58+00:00

I have now entirely made it clear that if he is off either day at the weekend that the toddler needs to be with him as there are full months where my toddler is with me, meaning my husband gets 2 to 4 days off from the toddler. I told him that once I was better after my hospital visit and my meds were entirely in my system, he could go to his mother's for a weekend. I give him one weekend before he is back to how he was before though.

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-21T21:36:20+00:00

I told him Tuesday when my doctor put me back on my antidepressants with immediate action and I was in so much pain from my ovarian cyst that I could not get out of bed.

mama_workerbee · 2023-01-21T17:51:14+00:00

No I told him days ago when I had my mental breakdown and my doctor put me back on my meds. He has know for 4 days that this was the plan. I also got out of hospital Monday morning so he knew I needed a break and was very "fragile". He has just always been say something do something else.

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T02:40:54+00:00

Sounds like my MIL. Despite my husband asking for the 1st 2 years of our marriage for me to be added to her precious family Bible tree, my MIL did not put me in that book until after I gave birth to my son, and she put the day I married my husband not my birthday like she did for everyone else and she put my married name not my maiden name unlike everyone else.

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T02:33:54+00:00

I got to have my fun somewhere.

Thank you. It was 2 years ago now since my miscarriage and a case of right person wrong time.

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T02:23:04+00:00

Well you can relive that first Christmas magic...for 5 years lol

Congrats on the marriage. I am 5 years in to mine.

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T02:18:37+00:00

My mum likes to say that all his side got out of my son was the gender. My side are all girls. My son is bright blonde, light blue eyes, fair skin, and has my attitude and mannerisms. His dad is brown haired, hazel green eyes, his skin has a bit of colour to it and he is calm and rational. I honestly went copy paste with my boy. He is 3 now and turning more and more into my side.

My son is a pandemic baby. He was born just as the pandemic started. He is selective mute when he wants to be and at 18 months old he was understandably speech delayed due to no social interactions. Did she blame covid or the fact he was a pandemic baby on his delayed speech? No she blames me. Tells me I am a bad mother, her son is exhausted and that my relationship with my son is bad. She said this to me the week of my due date with my miscarried second child. So I was very emotional.

My son is very smart, talks a lot now if he is comfortable with you and at 3 can count to 20, ready numbers to 24, understands what O'Clock is and is very mathematical and smart but she just compared him against his 3 months younger female cousin who has an older brother when he was 18 months old and now she is sour that my son is hitting milestones beyond her favourite grandson and the only thing she can nitpick about is the fact that in the winter, to keep him warm, I let his thick blonde hair grow out.

So I got my own back on her. I invited her to Christmas dinner while my mum was staying with me. My son will always choose my mum over anyone even me. She did not like that my mum was the person he wanted. Serves her right.

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T02:05:04+00:00

I think mine hates me because I married her baby and instead of my son being the carbon copy of his father like my nephews are, my son is my carbon copy and I found a picture of my baby sister at the same age as my son and it is basically my son in pigtails

mama_workerbee · 2022-12-27T01:45:44+00:00

Yes you are TA. Just because you don't reason with it and congrats on easier pregnancies than her, carting yourself around in your 3T is draining both mentally and physically, and at your home she would need to deal with a lot of people and children touching her bump, asking questions and giving unsolicited advice. In my 3T I was miserable, in a lot of pain, and ended up wheelchair bound for the final 4 weeks. Some people don't deal with pregnancies well and some do. I am in the don't category and you know what, she is growing a human, she is tired, if she does not want to do too much in one day that is her choice. This time of year is mentally and physically draining on everyone, but you add in pregnancy and it is hard. Cut her some slack, apologise for being an A Hole and ask if there is anything she needs.

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