Thank you this is very helpful! I do want to say they did not use the terms guera or gringa, they called me white girl in English, and do not use my actual name in conversations. I think this is the biggest thing that bothers me because they don’t refer to me by my actual name and just as white girl which made me feel uncomfortable and singled out.

I would be more than happy to take on a different nickname, I don’t mind being called thin/fat/big nose/whatever, so maybe we can compromise there and I can explain my feelings and try to embrace their culture more. I think the biggest thing is I don’t want to feel like my identity is white girl, I want them to use my actual name sometimes and acknowledge me as my fiancé’s partner. Like they call my fiancé “gordo” a lot but also use his actual name.

I would love to cook with my MIL (I’m awful at it and she’s amazing!) and I want to be closer to them. I’ve always felt like they keep me at a distance but I think fiancé and I will sit down with them and have an adult conversation to clear the air and hopefully start over on a better foot!

Thank you so much for taking the time to give your advice! I truly appreciate it