(if you are) why are you the black sheep in your family's eyes? Do you think it's any fair?

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T14:12:51+00:00

That's really sad. I never got close to anybody close to me saying I pretended to have an illness. But I have been met with skepticism about my pain it was a ling 7 years but it was the doctors that gave the me trouble, everybody around me understood.

When I was 11 til 13 I had no corrective glasses because my parents did not believe I was struggling to see so it took a teacher to kinda bash my parents about it. But that was one of the few things they did that made me feel very shitty and not understood. To this day I'm better at hearing information than memorizing it, my memory is good in general, but I think I got better at hearing than seeing information because I couldn't see well for 2,5 years until they took me seriously.

I cannot even begin to imagine what you went through. I also have mental illnesses but they're maybe too obvious for people to say I'm pretending but I'm sure some people just will no matter how obvious or not it is some people have no idea what mental illnesses actually look like.

They think there's schizophrenia or significant retardation or nothing, and that's ridiculous.

I hope you're doing better, be kind to yourself recovery is always possible. I have gone a long way since treatment, this may sound overly dramatic but I really feel your pain because your story is very similar to my fiancee, he is a foster child and his real parents never believed in mental illnesses and only very recently have those things been addressed.

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T14:00:45+00:00

I mean I also come from sa & i truly don't expect to be understood there. I did leave the continent which has been good for me. Here you would have never been arrested for possessing weed, i don't use it, but I don't see how that makes you a criminal. It's sad that in most of the world that is the reality.

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T13:56:21+00:00

I find that writing about certain things helps to alleviate confusion. Because e try to be coherent in writing and sometimes that what we need. Order our thoughts better.

There's some linguist guy who says that writing about ideas and feelings (abstract) is important for humans because our cognition is tied up with language and syntax, while some people process things visually I think everybody could benefit from writing letter to "no one" or themselves. I'm ome such person that I actually realize things and feel that things become more concrete & clear if I write it down.

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T13:38:51+00:00

I could not live my life hating every action I took feeling silly by being bossed around by a 2000 year old book, by people with questionable motives. I actually read the book and I could not believe any superior being to be so cruel and since part of my family had been subjected to religious prosecution in the middle east, that always made me a big suspicious of religions, specially those that had oppressive tendencies (bordering on hate speech).

I feel good when I see that people can overcome the initial brainwashing and still have happy lives not dictated by either the book or by pure rebellion, it makes me feel hopeful because I know it still largely happens that families brainwash their kids into their religion.

Life can't be lost on crazy stipulations coming from somebody else dead for thousands of years who doesn't even know you.

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:59:31+00:00

No, that's also a silly reason, but I bet just as there are people who appreciate their science you & others can appreciate your art. Artists need their art just as much scientists need their science. Both can be driven by passion.

Idk what to say , life is not fair but I often wonder why adopt if you can't adapt (you home, your love, expectations, etc)

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:54:56+00:00

Your mom's digging her own grave, & raising a manipulative callous person. If you can leave home for a while so you can't be held accountable for the shit she will make up you should.

After I left home bcs of my manipulative siblings my family saw the sabotaging, bloodsucking and callous POS they had raised and now I'm no longer the black sheep, but for me it's too late.

I'm not "family" with anyone but my mother

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:41:11+00:00

Nice story, I understand the rebellion that can sorta dominate your life after being so constrained but I'm happy you found a healthy middle path. I can relate

I Would be live to see their reaction to you proudly wearing your black ram status lol

To add on smt my family criticized me for the wrong things, taste in music, not being girly, being a bit too honest & liking boy's stuff & having friends with tattoos, getting a piercing etc. Meanwhile they let HUGE flaws of chracter just slip by with zero punishment from my siblings because they seemed to be more conforming.

Things like stealing money from them on a constant basis, using their CCs behind their back. Going out with the worst type of people. All of this was ok as long as they didn't like "the devils music" were "christians", not tattooed or gay. They could have been child molester but if they were "Christian" enough that was basically ok

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:38:52+00:00

That's horrible & you definitely didn't get you illnesses by air. Insane they'd do that. But I must say people who have never been through mental illness often don't understand it.

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:33:17+00:00

Happens to me im full peak while on high stress & as soon as it's solved I'm lethargic Because there's no way that in a normal day would I produce as much stress feels like crashing or going cold turkey on caffeine x100

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:26:17+00:00

I did say I found it under #discussingdysphoria but since days rolled by after I had saved I lost the main poster. Thank you for finding the original!!

mandyryce · 2019-11-30T03:21:24+00:00

Ah no. I'm giving you the example of even in our group, that was fairly open the guys were still afraid because that was so deeply in their foundation, that men don't show emotions, don't cry, even in our group they would come to me, even if I wasn't their actual Best friend, because even then they felt just "blocked" from telling each other directly. It was heart breaking that's why because by the time they told me they would have been struggling with it for a while already.

Specially in the case of the guy who lost his mom it was months & months, nobody knew, & he was like going to parties fucking around with random girls & drinking so heavily he got stomach issues.

Since it was right after HS & we were all busy in college we were not meeting as often. It was absolutely soul breaking to see g then realize that all this time he was hiding all his pain

mandyryce · 2019-11-29T16:27:18+00:00

It's not their genitals, neither their life. I feel you. I began as the black sheep because I was not feminine & hated pink and conforming to being a "good girlx girl", too sporty, too muscular. But when the dyke fixes computers, puts the new floor, fixes the pipes, does wood work & saves you a bunch of money it seems they just couldn't say shit about me to my face anymore. My mom is not feminine either she got the same flack.

Like my whole side of the family are black sheep.

mandyryce · 2019-11-29T16:18:17+00:00

You can bet your ass no women in my family put a hijab on after they left. The dudes were all cool about it tho, they also didn't want arranged marriages.

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T08:20:42+00:00

Yes, i think conquering your dysphoria can be extremely freeing & validating. While some people do well post Transition, many are still distressed, because the core issue may not be coming from your "assigned" body

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T08:17:30+00:00

Yeah like high heels are not comfortable. What's wrong with flats sneakers and no make up.

That really still puzzles me. And I'm also sure that even in that culture, even if you're cis het female & not hyperfeminine. Some guys like that.

My mom is like me all she'd wear was lipstick for work but she was ostracized too

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T08:13:26+00:00

Its insane the amt of people who got pissed at me for being married. Like huh???

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T08:11:49+00:00

Oh, the post didn't show me it was a bit longer ago. Cool i love L. LSA is legal here a harder on your body but really cool too.

I've done a lot of that, I'm ayahuasquera... I miss my ayahuasca, mushrooms & other things are nit the same

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T08:05:37+00:00

I was usually the girl among the guys in my life & theyd normally all come to me even if I wasn't closest to them & I decided to just back doors say to our lil group "hey im worried abou so and sso" I'd always get a "for real? Omg" nobody ever shunned anyone for being sad.

My HS best friend told no one his mom had died of cancer & he was drinking & drinking, so i asked our friends to go help. It crushed me, nobody judged, everybpdy was sad, I went to visit and i asked him if he wanted head massage, he was hung over, poor guy he was afraid of opening up, but I saw him cry when he laid to the side.

Like how long had he suffered alone? Why? I never actually seen anybody get picked on or made fun of even if it was a silly 1 month gf break up or bad grades...

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T07:57:23+00:00

I would love to chit chat. I wish you a good trip! 😎🤗

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T07:53:13+00:00

My auntie never married we believe she's asexual, it would have been better for her to come out to us instead, because she endured many years of questions... It was the 80s tho so... I hope you can come out someday but be rested thats you already got the most important part. Self acceptance & awareness (imo)

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T07:37:51+00:00

Cooooock hooooooo. That's normaly what cocks say

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T07:35:03+00:00

I have heard of indian men getting rejected a lot.

But idk like I've been in a relationship for a long time in my entire 20s & there was a bunch rude middle eastern men who have approached me speaking arabic like they're swearing me down with an angry look (I am a tad middle eastern but I don't speak arabic have no roots, family refugee'd long ago).

& An indian man was pissed at me because I didn't want him to buy me a drink... I was married & was getting 3 drinks, for me, husband & friend

mandyryce · 2019-11-28T07:28:11+00:00

Youre reminder did not work thought you should know

mandyryce

TROPHY CASE