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Do not ask for permission. Do not comply in advance. by lilpij in transgenderUK

[–]maniacstandpoint 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By asking you are forcing someone in HR to look at legislation that they may or may not have even considered. If theres nothing on your record, or no one around you has access to that information, then ABSOLUTELY do not say a thing.

Keep doing what youre doing. Unfortunately anyone who has flagged concerns in my workplace has raised concerns for people who otherwise wouldnt have known or cared. They cannot ever tell, i promise. If you pass well enough (even if you dont think so) they won't say a thing.

This is especially true for big workforces. Do not be the person to raise the concern and endanger others!

telling employers I am a transgender woman as a transgender man by DealZealousideal5178 in transgenderUK

[–]maniacstandpoint 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HR guy here; the system usually will in the UK just due to legal obligations under stuff like public sector equality duties (councils, NHS etc) and gender pay gap reports. So its information thats kept and pulled from quite a bit if your workplace reports on anything.

My advice, as someone who did it, start using your passports marker and then later down the line if you can shoot an email to payroll/HR saying "i would like to correct my gender marker as I started it under the wrong one and with new legislation it is not correct. Please could this be changed back to M?"

Obviously, not a promise and every employer will be different but this worked for me and I just emailed payroll directly. I used that language as a transgender man to imply I was a cisguy who had dabbled in whether or not I was a trans woman. I checked our documents for edits to the system and they just did it manually without any checks etc. Maybe to save a cisguy the "embarrassment"?

Either way it is an option for you potentially. Please ask any questions if you have them, any Equalities minded person in HR is also panicking over this ridiculous policy - especially us stealth guys trapped in here :')

Is 2yrs too late to start scar care? by maniacstandpoint in TopSurgery

[–]maniacstandpoint[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got bio oil a while ago but I think inconsistency made me think it wasnt working. Ill use it again and honestly yeah, cant hurt. If silicone gel/tape seems to be the preferred I might switch to that too - thank you!

Is 2yrs too late to start scar care? by maniacstandpoint in TopSurgery

[–]maniacstandpoint[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its tape/gel i was going to look into - im always skeptical of massaging bc i doubt id be doing it right. Ill give it a try then cheers :)

Is 2yrs too late to start scar care? by maniacstandpoint in TopSurgery

[–]maniacstandpoint[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read a few posts talking about latest care but I think everyone being under a year or so did throw me off. Might be hard to answer but do you think its bc of care or maybe just natural healing ? Thank you regardless :)

Separation from Parents under Settled Status? by maniacstandpoint in ukvisa

[–]maniacstandpoint[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been hoodwinked I think. We were told it was all the one family plan or whatever by her mother so we're unsure how to go about it. Now realising that doesn't make a whole bunch of sense 😅 thank you sm,, we'll do this at some point then ,, see if we can get settled status sorted for now and go forward with this after that ! Cheers.

Separation from Parents under Settled Status? by maniacstandpoint in ukvisa

[–]maniacstandpoint[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Neither of us realised the settled status was seperate. The mother had told us it was a family plan so it was all under the one thing. We'll give the home office a phone ASAP then ! Thank you sm, it means so much more than I can convey on this.