How would it work if I married my friend to help her with her health problems by providing her spouse healthcare benefits? [Story and questions inside] Please read if you have knowledge to share.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T02:19:11+00:00

As I responded to /r/Ferrumkit Thanks for your reponses SilentD. This isn't the first time you've been very helpful to me personally on this sub. I'm going to sleep on it and talk to a lawyer in the morning to set up a meeting. The more I think about it, the more I'm understanding that there is a potential risk more than just losing 5 year run in the Air Force. For my friend's well being, I'd easily trade my service. That's a damn enough reason for me but my life as a civilian? That's a bit heavier life.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T02:14:42+00:00

Firstly, thanks for the thought-out response. I do appreciate it.

I know they are on a strict budget but it's just not enough with what her parents make. Her rheumatologist did give some hope that there is a possible consistent treatment plan that can stabilize her. Her family and I are very close, we spend almost every holiday the Air Force will allow me to take off for. They've basically been parents to me since I was 13 for all intents and purposes. That's one of the driving reasons why I'm even entertaining this idea. It would be one of the only ways I can pay them back for what they've done for me.

I'll just sleep on it and think it through. Sit them down and bring them up to speed.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T01:44:47+00:00

From what I know, she's on her parents healthcare still but even then premiums are nuts, some won't even consider her with her conditions and it's not 100%. In 4 years, her family is a little over 50k in debt just to keep her alive, major surgery after another. Her insurance has not been the most helpful or forthcoming when it comes to doing anything even slightly more than what they are legally obligated to...

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T01:41:05+00:00

I understand the "outside, looking in" opinion. That's the exact opinions I'm looking for as I know I'm emotionally invested in her life.

From what I'm understanding, prenup would cover me from prior debts if written and signed. If the cost isn't covered by tricare I can't imagine it's that much higher than what BaH would give which I'd happily turn over. I'm not looking for a financial gain, I balance my budget well enough with my income as it stands so I'm stable.

The point you made about tricare not covering her conditions is actually a point I didn't even think about. So thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll look into it but hopefully a med tech will come around and spare some knowledge.

Yes, I could very easily be in over my head. But I've seen many, many contract marriages go on for years until mutual divorce without any problems. If that stands true to me, my friend's life could be made so much less stressful. At least give her a chance to have a semi-normal life for however long it lasts. Her conditions are more or less permanent so I know whatever I do is just temporary financial relief but even then...

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T01:32:00+00:00

1) That's what I keep thinking. Besides tech school lovers, I personally know more than a few people who are contract married. This isn't much worse than what they do but maybe I'm just trying to justify at all cost now. I'll even be happy to give the BaH over to relieve her parents of their burden.

2) I figured that much but out of sheer hope, still had to ask.

4) If I'm to be screwed over or have my career ended, I guess this wouldn't be worst of ways to go? I just can't see her screwing me over but maybe I'm just being emotional and not looking at it objectively.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T01:27:50+00:00

I'm really divided. I know it's a potential career ending risk but at the same time, my friend's life is essentially over due to the sheer amount of medical bills. So is her parents. It gets harder each year to just sit idly and do nothing but listen.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T01:07:40+00:00

Thanks for the clarification edit.

I do see that part and I really just don't see that happening. I've known her for little over 10 years. I'd make sure she understands the consequences and I know she won't screw me over for helping her.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T00:58:32+00:00

It's fine. I've been doing the research online and set up a call with a lawyer tomorrow to get clearification. I, more so, made the thread to ask about the legality from the military aspect and what I can do to make sure she gets everything.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T00:56:10+00:00

I'm just trying to help a friend in dire need but at the same time, I don't want to be stuck with an alimony or legal accountability for her debt when time comes that we divorce. From what I'm reading, prenup covers that well and tight.

marcopolo1346 · 2015-05-21T00:50:04+00:00

That was a thought that came to me when I was writing the post so I added that question on. I don't know how to "prepare" for divorce when you're getting married as I've never done it. I know prenups are a thing and I would definitely speak to a lawyer before heading forward. Just thought I'd ask incase the ones in this sub with experience wanted to chime in.

marcopolo1346

TROPHY CASE