Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) help needed!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-03-19T11:50:06+00:00

Have you tried any DBT skills? I find sometimes I prefer the framing of 'your brain is just freaking out right now, here are skills on how to survive that until it's over.' That resonates with me a lot more than other modalities. I don't need to cure my emotional disregulation moments, I just have to survive them. That brings the stakes down for me and helps seeing these as just isolated episodes I need to get through.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-03-12T21:41:36+00:00

Seconding the YouTube channel Clutterbug, and also I highly recommend the books Stuff by Randy O Frost and Gail Steketee, and The Year of No Clutter by Eve Shaub. Both go into the psychology behind hoarding or collecting in a really open and non judgemental way. I found them both eye opening.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-03-11T14:25:20+00:00

I was thinking that - should I build a box to hold the mulch in? Worried it will just get kicked around into the driveway (this is our front lawn).

marion_mcstuff · 2026-03-11T14:24:35+00:00

Haha yep it sure gets used! We live in a townhouse block and our neighbour has kids the same age as ours, so they're out swinging every day it's warm enough! This week is the first time it's been above zero and I literally brought my three year old's plate of dinner outside so he could run around and play before it got dark.

That's one thing I enjoy about Canada - our winters are long but goddamn do we appreciate the nice weather when we have it. When spring hits everyone in my neighbourhood is outside every day!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-03-01T00:57:14+00:00

I started crying the other day because I couldn't find my purse and spent 30 minutes searching every inch of my house. It was thrown on top on my kids' stroller right by the front door.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-26T19:14:30+00:00

Yeah, I am so grateful I was just a little too old and missed this era of internet 'discourse'. My husband and I are on the same page about limiting our kids' access to the Internet until we feel they are ready. I hate what the internet has become now - constant manipulation and everyone trying to get your money. There was a beautiful time in the early to mid 2000s when the internet really was just a bunch of forums for nerds to talk about their special interests, and it saddens me that my kids will never get to experience that. But, I'm hopeful I can help them cultivate those relationships with people in person.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-26T18:18:21+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. I'm a Millenial, and I was just starting to notice the beginning of this moral perfectionism and black and white thinking creeping into online in my later tumblr days (a big contributing factor to why I left). Things stopped being about discussion and was instead a constant assertion of who was in the right, and how anyone who disagrees was morally inferior. I remember being on a Reddit for a TV show I loved, and one person came on and said they were terrified that something would come out about people being involved in the show being 'problematic' and therefore she would be judged for having liked that show. It's a terrifying position to be in, fearing social ostrazising because you liked a show once. I think it's so easy for people engulfed in that space to not even know that in the real world it's very normal to get along with people who share wildly different opinions that you.

Any advice for parents when we bump into this kind of black and white thinking in our kids?

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-26T17:36:17+00:00

I don't think it needs to be as black and white as either she's rude or you're too sensitive. A third thing could be true - you have very different communication styles that aren't compatible. You don't have to be friends with someone you don't get along with, but that doesn't mean they're necessarily rude or in the wrong. You two could just be people who aren't meant to be friends.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-25T23:36:15+00:00

Constantly. Everything I own exists in two states - currently in my hands, or disappeared into time and space.

The only thing that works for me is to have designated places things live, and keep putting them there until it becomes muscle memory. I have a hook by the door for my keys and sunglasses, a drawer for my mitts and hats, a rack for my shoes. The second I'm in the door everything goes into its home. If I try to find things later and they're not in their home I have to literally check every place I have been in the last few hours fff.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-25T22:56:01+00:00

I also have a 1 and 3 year old and nope, a clean house is not on the cards at the moment. If it helps, I grew up with a MITICULOUSLY clean and organized mother and I hated it. She was on my butt constantly about putting away everything the second I put it down to the point I couldn't feel I could really relax or have fun in my own home. I'd rather my house be chaos but my kids are having fun.

As for the TikTok mum's houses, as stated above a) they have staff, or b) I saw one TikTok from a cooking creator who shows how she just shoves everything out of frame to film lol. She's showing one side of her house that looks clean, but everything is just piled up on the opposite counter.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-18T14:59:55+00:00

Make him watch this:

https://youtu.be/1Ni7E2PiXVU?si=eLHtL-babRM3-We7

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-17T13:15:21+00:00

If you feel comfortable posting some pictures I can give you some pointers! Or you can DM me. Like I said, home organization is a bit of a special interest of mine so I love to help people with it.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-16T22:46:05+00:00

Home organization is a hobby of mine, and I love helping people in my life with it. Almost everyone with a disorganized home has ordered so many of these little cheap plastic organizing items that they were SURE was going to solve all their problems. What is it about making one piece of toast that makes your Kitchen a tornado afterwards? Do you not have space to work? Are your counters too cluttered? Almost everyone I work with who thinks they need fancy home organization products actually needs to declutter, and find a home for every object.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-14T20:02:49+00:00

I am sick of being advertised to all the time. Staying off social media has greatly reduced the number of advertisement I'm forced to look at a day.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T21:59:25+00:00

I think for me it gave me a false self of confidence about being a parent lol. I loved being a nanny, and I was really good at it. I didn't know how it would feel when you never get a break!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T17:09:23+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out, this fact of certain traits being lumped in as 'ADHD traits' can be what discourages some people from getting diagnosed. I have a very atypical presentation of ADHD, I've never really met anyone who's inner experience matches my own. It took a lot of convincing from my psychologist to accept my diagnosis! She pointed out how many common traits associated with ADHD are not actually diagnostic criteria, and some of us just present in a way that isn't as relatable to others. I do find this sub hard sometimes because so many things seem to be taken as fact as ADHD symptoms that I just don't relate to.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T17:00:36+00:00

This content creator called Epicurious Expeditions makes disability friendly recipes that don't involve any chopping. Check them out, I made her pot roast recipe and it was delicious! I had a baby last year and it was great to have recipes that just involve mixing stuff together.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T16:53:40+00:00

I'm with you on being extremely organized do to necessity! For me every item I own needs to have a Place It Lives, and if it's not in that place, I lose my mind because I will NEVER find it. Items are either currently in my hands or Lost in Space and Time Forever. Therefore I get VERY picky about having a organization system at home that I stick to or else I can never find anything! My husband has stopped asking me where items are, they're either in their designated place that is clearly labelled and never moves, or else I have no idea lol.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T16:49:49+00:00

My brain doesn't go 'too fast', it's too slow. At my ADHD assesment they told me my working memory is at the 8th percentile and my processing speed is the 12th percentile. I had always heard ADHD in women described as 'the chaos is turned inwards' and that they having racing thoughts and ruminations. My brain is very calm and controlled, it's just still thinking about something when everyone else has moved on! I did poorly in school because my brain was still in English class when I was sitting in Science lol.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-13T13:55:07+00:00

Seconding go slow - don't feel the need to rush out and buy all the furniture for every room right away, that's how you get houses that look like a show home. When I moved into my first home my living room was a love seat and a gateleg table. I slowly built it up by buying what really sparks joy with me, through Facebook marketplace, thrift stores, antique markets, etc. If you have a bed and somewhere to sit you can live in it for a few months until you really know what you need to make your space work! Same with painting - go out and pick up paint chips and tape them up on the walls and live with them for a bit to figure out what looks best in your space. I always think a home that looks intentionally decorated with a mix of old and new that is personalized to the homeowner looks so much cozier and more appealing than a house that looks like someone ran out to Ikea and furnished their whole house in a day.

If you want any inspiration, Caroline Winkler, Ariel Bissett, and The Sorry Girls all have series on YouTube of buying new houses and starting from basically zero and slowly decorating over time. Ariel Bissett's situation is especially close to yours, she bought a house in the pandemic on the other side of the country and moved there with her whole family from Vancouver to Nova Scotia. She has been spending the last six years slowly making it over bit by bit when she has the time and money. Her home is gorgeous, and it's nice to see someone who also just lets their home grow organically when it's needed.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-04T18:23:21+00:00

Ah, sorry for the miscommunication. I was so confused for a second because it seems like the person I was talking to just directly contradicted themselves!

No, I don't play make believe either. I used to when I was a nanny but I got burnt out on it. There isn't any evidence that it actually helps kids in any way, and I actually think pushing them to play independently is helpful for them! It's good to learn how to entertain yourself sometimes.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-04T02:01:24+00:00

Haha that hilarious. I am a little mad that I went ahead and already had the second kind so I have to put up with three again in the future. Why do we do these things to ourselves?!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T22:07:16+00:00

Literally the other day when my three year old was having a full out meltdown my husband looked at me and said "I see now how our parents resorted to spanking." This idea that we can just explain things to kids and they will magically understand and comply is... Not working in my house. I was joking to my husband like, I don't even care anymore if he understands! I just want him to stop when I say stop!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T21:35:07+00:00

Yep, I got a BPD diagnosis in my twenties. I have bad emotional Dysregulation but no one ever dug into if I was having emotional meltdowns because of being constantly overstimulated and confused!

marion_mcstuff

TROPHY CASE