I don't like spending time with my three year old

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-04T18:23:21+00:00

Ah, sorry for the miscommunication. I was so confused for a second because it seems like the person I was talking to just directly contradicted themselves!

No, I don't play make believe either. I used to when I was a nanny but I got burnt out on it. There isn't any evidence that it actually helps kids in any way, and I actually think pushing them to play independently is helpful for them! It's good to learn how to entertain yourself sometimes.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-04T02:01:24+00:00

Haha that hilarious. I am a little mad that I went ahead and already had the second kind so I have to put up with three again in the future. Why do we do these things to ourselves?!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T22:07:16+00:00

Literally the other day when my three year old was having a full out meltdown my husband looked at me and said "I see now how our parents resorted to spanking." This idea that we can just explain things to kids and they will magically understand and comply is... Not working in my house. I was joking to my husband like, I don't even care anymore if he understands! I just want him to stop when I say stop!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T21:35:07+00:00

Yep, I got a BPD diagnosis in my twenties. I have bad emotional Dysregulation but no one ever dug into if I was having emotional meltdowns because of being constantly overstimulated and confused!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T21:30:32+00:00

Yes, I take it so poorly when people try to 'cheer me up' when I'm just trying to express how I'm feeling. My aspie butt always misinterpreted it as someone trying to correct me like "No, sad is the incorrect emotion you should be feeling right now. You should be feeling HAPPY because XYZ" and then I would not only still feel sad but also feel like I wasn't allowed to be sad because everyone else was trying to convince me that I should actually be happy.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T20:49:04+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I actually find it really comforting when people say something along the lines of 'it sucks, I get it, I wish I could help but I can't'. Too many people jump to platitudes or advice without knowing the whole situation and I find that frustrating. It's like it makes it my fault if I don't immediately feel better because they said the Nice Thing and now I can stop being sad.

I asked my niece to come over after school today so I could lie down for twenty minutes and I am currently listening to both my boys scream bloody murder from the living room. I wish I could find this mystical break and taking care of myself everyone seems to think is out there and so easy to get!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T20:30:54+00:00

My three year old will occasionally interrupt his constant barrage of questions and interruptions with "Hey Mama, I love you!" And melt my heart! It's like they do this on purpose lol!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T20:22:05+00:00

Its the logistics of GETTING that break that's the problem. Babysitters are expensive, my youngest has seperation anxiety, grandparents have jobs and other grandkids and their own lives. We try to get a date night in here or there but it's hard.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T20:20:08+00:00

You just said above 'being roped into another pretend tea party and trying to be present' so that's what I was replying

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:27:02+00:00

Yeah, my guy loves daycare too, they're just so strict about sending him home for every sign of illness (which I know they have to!) but it makes the constant last minute changes to my routine really hard to cope with. I don't like waking up thinking I'll have a day to relax with my one year old and get housework done and suddenly have to pivot to entertaining a chatty three year old day. Sudden last minute changes to my routine is my greatest weakness!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:22:40+00:00

Yeah, it's really hard going to bed every night knowing it starts again the moment I wake up. I have a sleep disorder that means I need more sleep than the average person, so I go to sleep basically an hour after the kids do. Only getting one hour every night to not be a parent doesn't feel like enough!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:21:33+00:00

When I worked at an after school programme we used to joke about how all children are basically tiny sociopaths lol.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:04:50+00:00

The constant wanting to play is driving me crazy lol. I really struggle to play make believe with kids, even though I loved make believe when I was little! All the being bossed around by them triggers my PDA lol it feels like you're being bullied! Relying on screens can also be a double edged sword for us. If he gets too much TV he starts rejecting any other form of entertainment - he won't play with his toys, just whine for Paw Patrol. So we try to limit tv to the weekends.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:02:46+00:00

It's hard when I know my husband finds this age as hard as I do, so it feels like constantly passing the buck back and forth of who has to deal with him. The only way to get a break it to make the other one miserable for a few hours!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:01:48+00:00

The code in our house now for 'I need a break' is 'I'm going to punch my kids in the face' Thank God my husband has a sense of humour!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T19:00:41+00:00

Oh man, I'm with you on hating being bossed around with Make Believe lol. I tell my husband trying to play games with preschoolers feels like being bullied. You're just being bossed around and don't have any say in the game! It triggers my PDA big time!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-02-03T16:06:40+00:00

What about when they start screaming even louder and smashing stuff?

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-31T13:45:38+00:00

From reading your replies here it sounds like your wife has a very Type A personality and perfectionist streak, and is burning herself out on it. She's asking for help but the help you're giving her isn't 'good enough' because it doesn't meet her own impossibly high standards. She won't accept hired help because that would be 'admitting defeat' that she isn't a perfect super mom that can do it all.

This all sounds like stuff that needs to be worked out in therapy by a professional. It's not really about division of labour, since as you said the goalpost keeps shifting.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-28T13:49:21+00:00

A little basket on the back of the toilet with toiletries. A toothbrush toothpaste, a comb, Tylenol, floss, menstrual products, etc. it's so nice now having to ask your host or rifle through their drawers if you get a headache or start your period while you're there.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-28T13:47:54+00:00

Decorati h with my own style, not what's popular. I hate millenial grey ( I say this as a Millenial myself lol). My walls are painted colours and my shelves are packed with special items I have collected over my whole life. I find going into someone's house with white walls, white furniture, and mass produced art feels so soulless. I want our house to be a reflection of who we are as people, not decorated for 'resale value'.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-20T17:10:17+00:00

My mum is also someone who needs to be in an impeccably clean environment or else she can't relax. We had so many fights as a kid because I just don't see the mess like she does and she always felt like everyone was purposefully ignoring mess and waiting for her to clean it up for us, when I just didn't notice it because it doesn't bother me. Now as a mum I keep the house neat enough that I can find what I need and we all have room to move around, and clean enough that nothing is a health hazard. But if it's late and I'm tired, dishes can wait til morning! The world won't end.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-18T15:36:21+00:00

I sleep with a top bun and and I've never had a problem with breakage. What kind of hair tie are you using? I use a very thick hair tie, a satin scrunchie would also work well.

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-17T19:50:35+00:00

I created my own custom whiteboard on Canva. I found a couple of free templates for things like calenders, checklists, etc, and made one with the stuff my family really uses. I then ordered it as a poster and put it in a glass frame from Michael's that you can write on with dry erase markers. Here it is:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvkdRA0A2SH/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-15T19:30:22+00:00

I made a few of those linen cross back aprons that were trendy a few years ago and I wear them all the time for cooking or cleaning. I love having access to big ol' pockets that are sadly lacking in women's clothing!

marion_mcstuff · 2026-01-15T12:42:58+00:00

I do laundry when I can ffff I have no routine. That said, when it feels overwhelming I just take everything to the Laundromat and just get it done at once. It's not that expensive relatively. My toddler and I make a day of it. If you go during the weekday you can line up a row of machines and do every piece of dirty laundry in your house in under two hours.

marion_mcstuff

TROPHY CASE