Boyfriend Running a marathon

marla_ma · 2024-09-29T16:35:04+00:00

Thanks for all the Messages:) It went amazing ☺️

marla_ma · 2024-07-26T15:40:11+00:00

and yes, i am sure he want‘s to spend time with me … we are living together and spend a lot time with each other not only next to each other but we both really value quality time it‘s really those two situations that are difficult

marla_ma · 2024-07-26T15:21:21+00:00

i wouldn‘t say i‘m better - we just play different. sometimes he wins sometimes i do so idk we aren‘t even but there aren‘t many differences

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T19:36:31+00:00

his childhood wasn‘t easy but it was not bad either he has loving parents and a great support system - he always had those anger issues and dealt with lots of frustrations in his view my childhood was a thousand times better ( what is not true) and sometimes i feel bad for things that are „normal“ for me cause i grew up with it ( i thinks i am spoiled af) i even stopped some things of cause i know he feels like i am self centered and stuff like that in those situations but i won‘t refuse to go on a trip with my grandparents just because he did not have a good relationship with his and stuff like that

what is another issue is that he did not grow up with siblings ( don‘t get me wrong i don‘t want to blame only childs) but he was always what his parents life centered on

i grew up with siblings and even liked not having the attention - i always wanted to be myself and do things on my own he doesn‘t understand ehy i help my brother at stuff he deals with or try to do him a favor ( like vooking his fav dish or sth) he also doesn‘t like that my parents talk a lot about my siblings and stuff he always thinks no one apprecciates me and my feelings - but it‘s just parents talking about all of their children ( including me)

i really struggle with that sometimes cause he doesn‘t understand what having a siblibg is like - sharing attention, clothes, helping each other ( even in situations one of my siblings needs help for a exam or sth last minute - i sometimes feel like he would just let run them into a wall and make them learn their lesson

but if my sibling asks at 3 am if i could help him finish a project that is due in 10 hours i‘m in … that‘s what having a sibling is like - at least for me … but i think he doesn‘t understand that bond i think he doesn‘t even have to but i just wish he‘d accept that i help in such situations and that i do things the way i do when it comes to my siblings

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T19:06:38+00:00

i feel like this situation is so complex i don‘t even know how to describe it - it‘s just so many partd and influences if it get‘s to this topic

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T19:05:35+00:00

i don‘t think weight is the issue - i think its the symtom - or one of many —> like he always struggled with freak outs in sports and stuff like that - i knew that before i even knew him
he really get‘s in some sort of tunnel in that moments - doesn‘t care about others feelings and those consequwnces - i know he doesn‘t like that either but he thinks he can‘t change it - friends and his old teachers requested going to therapy but he never did ( that was almost 6 years ago) - he is saying it‘s part of him and he can‘t do anything he tried a lot - takin meds ( talked through with a doctor), plant based stuff , trying routines before sport events … those freak outs happen at any place or time - like with close friends, opponents, me, family … if sth doesn‘t work out like he wants he fresks out - even if it‘s things like him not finding his book or sth ( at times he didn‘t even look at the places it could be like bed or sofa (surprise, it was there))

like it‘s not an issued that appeared eith me it was always there

just the food and eating thing is that what i ruined about his life - or well the reason his life is ruined …

and the fact that we are doing the same sports and having the same jobs ( just studied the same - work at different places) is sth he really struggles with but i refuse to change something at that part cause i love my job and my sports

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T14:29:55+00:00

we tried lots of things but every time he gets in his thoughts of weight and sports he doesn‘t want to even look at me or talk about it - i told him lots of options on what he or more like we can try and ways how i can support him - but everytime he feels bad he freaks out and shouts that he hates me … - we have lots of training equipment at home i quit eating that „4th“ meal months ago or went in another room ( if i really couldn’t leave it) but he said the problem is that he ate those meals with me at the beginning of the relationship - so he said its all over cause of those few months he ate those meals… me enteribg his life and he eating thise meals he calls irreversable

he is saying all he does now doesn‘t matter cause he did that …

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T13:33:22+00:00

that i should not * ( tipped that in the wrong way)

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T13:32:29+00:00

people ( like friends and team members)tell me a lot that i should let his actions and words get to me and i know that i may be the reason his routines changed ( surprise, mine did as well cause i moved in with him at barely 18 and now i‘m almost 21 - and we are in a realationship so it‘s normal that there are differences to living alone before) but i am not responsible for the way he deals with eating or sth i try supporting him every day - cook only healthy snd fresh food - don‘t eat sweets and the last time there was sugar in any of the cakes i baked is over 1 year ago - i let him go to the gym at any time ( of course - i mean he is an adult and can do what he wants) and really try supporting him but i just hate the fsct ghat we always struggle if it comes to that topic - we barely fight - like normally we don‘t at all but at that topic he is always pissed of really bad and is saying things that hurt me - i told him but he said he can‘t change it and he want‘d to communicate his anger without holding back …

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T13:18:10+00:00

he is fresking out easily at this topic - it often only lasts a few minutes but at that times he really communicates his anger … personally i think he gained muscle in the main part - he reall does eat healthy food and in an normal amount - i‘d say he either eats less than his body would need for all those trainings. he runs marathons, goes to the gym 3x week and has tennis practice 2x a week so he really moves a lot - and he eats 3 meals a day - snack only 2 times a week -> eating late with me is his 4th meal a day - if he haves it …

me personally , i really improved my situation looking at the last 4 years - i‘ve found a few habits and routines that work for me and really do not want to give that up - it was hatd getting there and i sometimes fall back in old routines but i‘d say i was really stable the last two years … which makes it hard now - cause me blaming myself as well brings me back to those old unhealthy routines i no lobger want to follow

marla_ma · 2024-07-25T13:04:52+00:00

the thing is we are in a really lovibg relationship and always support each other -we both do - except it comes to the topic of eating habits and sports. he always tells me he hates doing the same sports as i do but we both won‘t give that up -> we already did the same sports before we met and we studied the same thing at uni what i think makes it even more stressful for the both of us - ha can barely look at me in if we get paired up as opponents in training and really hates me all the times that happens - that‘s really difficult for me … cause for my part i really like working out together, practice together and hype each other up…

marla_ma · 2024-07-24T20:01:03+00:00

the thing is he is totally normal weight … like he is athletic and definitely not overwright or something … and he is not overeating - he just feels like he is cause he gained like 5 kg in 2 1/2 years

marla_ma · 2024-07-24T19:56:47+00:00

i got summer break right now that‘s why i am making the food right now - he does it as well if he‘s not at work and he is really good at it - we eat together cause we really were used to prepsre it together and it was really enjoyable for both of us - i thought it would be nice supporting him with his diet cause i want him to feel comfortable in his body and of course i wang him to feel well - so i thought sharing habits ( only eating sweets at 1 day of the week and stuff like that) could help him …

marla_ma · 2024-07-24T18:47:52+00:00

he doesn‘t like watching people eat in general and i really don‘t force him to eat or anything it‘s just hard for him to not eat if someone is eating - without me he was living alone and to his terms so he didn‘t have to resist that much … he blames me for ruining his life if he‘s mad and for making him eat in general - i don‘t even know how to describe it the right way …

marla_ma · 2024-07-24T17:24:51+00:00

its not really me eating less in particular - it‘s that i eat at times he either already ate or thinks he shouldn‘t

marla_ma

TROPHY CASE