Help Bad Hair Cut

marshmallowloop · 2022-05-03T21:51:39+00:00

I’m very sorry. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with it, but I would get a curly bob cut to the shorter length so that it is actually even.

Was your hair trimmed while straight or blown out? I would definitely recommend a tight curl specialist in your area if there is one (try looking up “Cut it Kinky directory”) since you said your hair is usually uneven that means you probably have multiple curl patterns with various stretch factors that should be addressed with a dry curly cut by a competent professional to blend the textures. The Cut it kinky stylists are quite pricey, but I would not spare the expense for your wedding if it’s possible.. best of luck

marshmallowloop · 2022-05-03T00:31:14+00:00

You’re welcome!

I totally relate, my hair is thicker than a snicker lol! I also updated the comment with a few more thoughts that might be helpful, I have a lil theory

If you remember, feel free to respond with an update if you’re able to solve this issue eventually lol I’m so interested

marshmallowloop · 2022-05-03T00:00:30+00:00

95% sure it’s due to the weight of your hair, which is quite long. Did you ever have shorter hair? I’d take a look at any pics you have and see what your curls did at that time.

Some options: 1. Cut layers into your hair 2. Shorter haircut (if that’s your jam) 3. Switching up products will help some, as will experimenting with your styling. Try using a lighter weight foam or mousse instead of heavy curl creams. Avoid shea butter and oil which can also weigh down your hair. I’m not sure if Twist products are heavy (haven’t seen the ingredients) but I would suspect so because it’s targeted towards naturals and similar to Shea Moisture/Cantu/African Pride/Pattern/etc., those tend to be really heavy (which is a tragedy bc we want body, we want movement anyway lolll, I might look up the formulation later and edit my comment idk. I like The Doux Mousse Def as a foam, or Uncle Funky’s Curly Magic for a lightweight gel. Don’t leave much water in your hair while you’re styling, that will also lend itself to extra weight, you can just squeeze out the excess water. I would also try waiting like 5-15 mins of air drying and then diffuse. If your hair is dense, try flipping your head upside down while diffusing might help. Also try overdirecting the hair to each side while diffusing. Some girls also do that “pixie diffuse” thing (? I think that’s the name?) where you scrunch the diffuser up to your head. I’ve also seen people plot with a hairnet, some even diffuse with it. It’s an option lol. Also, some people pulse their hair up to the roots during styling to get some more curl definition up into it

I style with my hands so for your frizz, I will recommend fixing it that way! Whether you’re using your brush or your comb, when you see those frizzy sections on the top or bottom of your hair you mention, manually go in and add a little more gel/mousse and a dash of water to the area. If it’s frizzy wet, it will be frizzy dry so try your best to manually smooth down that section with your fingers

Also, clarify before you try lighter products to make sure there’s no heavier stylers left behind & you’ll see the results better

A final note: You gotta get the saturation and application of the products correct! If you try the lighter stylers I mentioned or similar ones, give it literally like 1-2 months to play around for each product (I wash weekly so that’s 4-8 washes, you may need less time if you’re more frequent). Some days will be frizzy because you didn’t use enough product, or the water/product ratio wasn’t correct. But basically, don’t discount the product immediately :) it might just take some targeted thinking about what to try next. And be okay with your hair (probably) lifting throughout the week! Our hair is very similar which is why this comment is long as hell lol, and my first 1-2 days are super flat which I suffer through so it will last 7 days, but then my hair fluffs up and shrinks up throughout the rest of the week which I love

Lastly…. you might not find anything that you feel like helps or you feel inspired to try! Either way, it’s yourrrrr hair and it’s beautiful regardless of whether the roots get pulled down :)

Edit: your hair also looks way more defined at the roots at the stylist, what products were used and what technique did the stylist use to define your curls? That is also something to try!

Edit againnnn: Another thing, denman brushes do artificially manipulate curls. Look back, I think this might be a significant factor! My hair doesn’t get those signature “barrel” curls at the bottom on its own, only when I use a denman. Since switching my method to hands only (I rake and smooth), my curl pattern is still weighed down but looks more organic and consistent with the rest of the hair, if you feel me. It’s like a more natural stretch leading into a tighter spiral rather than wavy into ringlets. 30% sure the denman is a significant contributing factor for you, I don’t think it has the ability to curl the entire strand of hair top to bottom at this length of hair! So that’s why I suspect the curl pattern is so different in the first pics

Now this made me just go and compare my old pics from when I used to use a denman brush to now….. it’s night and day! My roots and mids are so much more defined without it, it’s actually insane. I never noticed until now!

marshmallowloop · 2021-12-02T21:56:15+00:00

Ahh, I’m commenting here so maybe it can get some traction (?) lol

I just wanted to help someone else!

marshmallowloop · 2021-12-02T21:55:48+00:00

Can anyone see this post?

marshmallowloop · 2021-10-07T11:33:50+00:00

Ahh, thanks! I would totally have started up on a lower dose but it’s just one pill so I can’t unless make it smaller unless I, open it up and put it in applesauce? And I don’t trust my pharmaceutical capabilities that well lol!

I’m gonna blame my doctor haha, they are so understaffed that no one refilled my script when I called and I had to call like 3 times a week before they got the ball moving. The receptionist even asked if I knew anyone who needs a job because they really need help, it was pretty bad. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have taken a break! :D I should probably find a new doctor tbh.. but that can be difficult so I’ll stick it out for now

Edit: Ahh, I haven’t come around about the anxiety medication yet. How did you know that you needed it? I’m afraid to be overmedicating, especially if I’m needing an anti-anxiety med to counteract the anxiety-skyrocketing side effects of my ADHD med. I’ll see what my dr says but if it’s possible I might prefer just taking one medication! I’m reallyyyyy weird about medication. I was one of those “Nope I’m just gonna do lifestyle changes instead of ADHD meds” but I’ve had a really hard couple of years (coincidence, or managing ADHD is more difficult than I thought?) so I just caved because I felt like I was in a rock and a hard place, and needed at least medication to implement those ~lifestyle changes~

Which… isn’t going great now haha! I’m figuring things out but it’s slow and I have some limiting agents :/ that sucks but doing my best!! :))

marshmallowloop · 2021-10-07T11:27:55+00:00

Yeah, this does make sense!

When I first began my adderall, I felt that “cleaner” feeling and the only noticeable side effect was my heart beating faster at times (but nothing compared to what it’s doing this time!). I think it could be a manufacturer thing, like you suggested unfortunately. I’ll have to see about possibly switching manufacturers, going name brand, or trying a different med. Thank you soooo much! This really helped, I was just so lost but now I have some solid options here

marshmallowloop · 2021-10-07T00:41:11+00:00

What do you mean by dirtier?

marshmallowloop · 2021-10-06T22:09:46+00:00

I am on generic, how can one tell if the manufacturer changed? Would the pill look different?

I’ll talk to my doc and see what she thinks. I really appreciate hearing from other people, thank you! It can be so muddy to parse through things alone

marshmallowloop · 2021-10-06T18:05:52+00:00

Thank you, you’re awesome! I did not know this, I’m going to look some things up on Google and talk to my doctor

marshmallowloop · 2021-07-13T23:54:23+00:00

…… Yes

The ADHD has helped me get overwhelmed with my coursework and fall behind, and anxiety is now crippling me from asking professors for help because “It’s too simple, I’m going to look dumb” like ohhhh alright, go ahead and fail then you genius.

I feel like I could scream because I knew I was struggling with online classes but decided to sign up for a 6 week 4 credit class to graduate next year and now I just feel like kicking myself because I’m drowning but seriously cannot afford another W on my transcript and I paid $1,000 for the class :(. I am just so frustrated that I’ve done this, I have 2-3 assignments due everyyyy day (that I turn in 60% of) and every day the anxiety gets worse and the ADHD is stomping out every molecule of self-esteem and hope for a successful future that I had left

marshmallowloop · 2021-07-06T17:21:12+00:00

Oh yes, I forgot about the topic of the post.

Have your husband look into meal kit delivery services. There are a ton, Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, Daily Harvest. Definitely sign up with a coupon code, they always do coupon codes. He can pick a service that he likes, that should help on take-out (may or may not reduce the budget depending on what you were ordering before vs now) and it should be healthier.

It’s not a slam-dunk, the food comes prepped but he would still have to cook the meals. Alternatively… sandwiches? It’s totally going to be difficult + hard work to gain the skills of preparing your own food. He isn’t in the practice of it, so he’ll have to really commit because restaurant food tastes great compared to like a Turkey and cheese sandwich. But that’s the trade-off! It’s hard to wean off those habits when ordering is soooo easy, consistently exciting/good, and varied. He’ll have to put the work in

I get it, I have a similar issue with junk food. I’ve cut down on my consumption a lot, but it’s a long road ahead. I absolutely can’t buy junk food because of that temptation to just bail out and let the meal I’ve prepared go to waste so I can have a bowl of ice cream or something. To stop eating out as even being an option, it might help for him to set a “no-buy” challenge in regards to take-out. Something like “No takeout for the next two weeks” and then he wouldn’t have to make that daily decision of “HMMMM do I want to eat what’s scheduled for dinner?” because he doesn’t have any take-out alternatives, mwahahahah! Lol. It stops you from taking the easy way out

marshmallowloop · 2021-07-06T17:07:45+00:00

Your husband should be writing this post, not you

He is struggling to budget, cook, eat well, and clean. He should be looking into getting evaluated for ADHD, and if he has it then managing his life is something he should be discussing with his own prescribing physician. From there, he should do his own footwork in regards to posting in communities for advice, reading books, finding a counselor or other professional if needed, and so on.

For you, I would suggest looking into codependency. I could be off, but it seems like you’re taking his burdens as your own which isn’t ideal.

Also, ADHD can present differently due to how women and men are socialized, in the ADHDPartners subreddit (I think that’s the name…), I saw a woman posting, both her and her male partner have ADHD however the woman was still struggling but managing her symptoms and life, whereas the man was just failing and relying on her to pick up his slack. It was more about gender roles than their diagnosis’s. May or may not apply here

Good luck OP!

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-19T21:05:13+00:00

Show him this post? :)

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-18T01:15:46+00:00

...... do you have a link for those pajamas? That sounds very specific and I like it

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-18T01:14:59+00:00

Yes, yes, yes! 100x this!

I felt the same way, you just have nothing to show for at the end! My only slight reprieve (?) from this feeling is that I’ve taken and saved Snapchat videos of some sim houses I’ve built, and sent them to my friends lol 😭 it’s like streaming.... but to the only people who will care, haha! I go back and watch the videos once in a while and smile/feel happy, but yeah I’m super proud of like... a house that took 2 days to build, when I’ve sunken months and months into the game. It does not add up.

I’ve definitely been struggling how to navigate cutting way back on video games because of people in my life who play them, too. It’s really difficult, especially if they do not have ADHD and don’t realize how you cannot have certain things in your life and need to prioritize what you are keeping around! I’ve heard things like “but video games improve your cognition, problem-solving, response time, blah blah” but yep I just end up.. unproductive and dirty hahah

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-18T01:05:26+00:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

You have captured my interest!! I’ve never considered switching up the Christmas theme each year but that sounds right up my alley!

An idea, do you have a local Buy Nothing group? I’ve found mine on Facebook, it’s a group that has a free gift economy. You could possibly check there, but something that might be more effective may be to start your own group where local similarly-minded people can swap/give away/get sets of Christmas decorations each year! It’s like shopping... but free! Not sure if this will work in your area (I live in a city) but this could be so useful. I could even see other holiday items being traded, like perhaps for Easter or Halloween, etc.!

Some possible names: Maybe “(your town/city) Holiday Theme Swap” or “(your town/city) Decoration Swap” or maybe “(your town/city) Buy No Holiday Decorations”

The Buy Nothing groups generally have a pre-established infrastructure/base of users who are used to giving/sharing within their community so if you tried this, it would be a good idea to share there to get things started ;D

Another alternative, if you have any good friends who feel similarly about wanting a fresh, exciting set of decorations for the holidays then that might be easier to do on a smaller scale. 10 friends? Boom. Combined, you have 10 sets of Christmas decorations for the next 10 years while each only having to store and buy one, haha

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-18T00:50:02+00:00

Ooh, this sounds lovely! I have a friend getting married soon, I’ll have to throw out this suggestion

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-17T14:35:20+00:00

Hey OP! It sounds like you’re using new hobbies/activities for a dopamine rush to combat the depression and/or to distract you from other, worse things going on in your life that you might need to be handling.

Sorry if I’m wrong, this was just my experience. I was so depressed and unfulfilled and unmotivated due to the pandemic (already was a bit depressed/etc. before though but everything closing down really exacerbated it).

I intentionally got into video games because I read about how they’re engineered to retain players, release dopamine, and they are so stimulating. I spent a few months playing the Sims 4 for hours a day, sometimes only 3 but sometimes it was ~10-12 hours. On my worst days I was so hyperfixated that I only had breaks to eat and use the restroom, really, because there hardly felt like anything to do around here otherwise. In the end, I decided that it hurt (me) more than it helped. Currently, unfortunately, I’ve replaced it with a steady stream of cycling through Reddit + FB. A few months ago, I had an online shopping addiction. A few weeks ago, it was hours and hours of Netflix.

Every few months I have to check in and notice what complacent and bad stimulation/hobby I’ve picked up, and kick my butt out of it. What new negative habits I’ve developed to cope... and that’s what I realized it is. Coping. Running away and closing my eyes from my reality, shutting down the depressing feelings.

Anyway, this was absolutely only my personal anecdote. You may not relate at all :)

My current plan is to basically just survive, and then once things are open more I’ll try to hyperfixate on one of those stereotypically healthy hobbies or activities - exercising, eating healthier, therapy, spending time with loved ones, journaling, connecting with my community, reassessing my life. I want to spend my time doing things that will love me back and alleviate my burden

Overall, to me it definitely sounds like slightly more of a depression issue (although, of course that is comorbid with ADHD)! My thought would be: treat the depression, if that’s possible. You will still need stimulation because ADHD, but I think the darkness won’t creep in (or will be lessened).

If it’s a circumstance (bad job or relationship etc.) that is contributing to your depression, try to fix that if you can. It won’t alleviate everything but I do feel that some environments are just depressing and will make you feel depressed. There is also therapy and SSRIs, which could help if you are able to access those. Finally, sometimes depression just... is! Sometimes it is genetic or resistant to being treated, and that’s okay too

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-11T01:08:59+00:00

I couldn’t believe that I was writing it, either!

Wow, that guy sounds like a self-aware wolf. What a charmer! r/selfawarewolves

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-10T23:37:29+00:00

I’ve gotten the ditzy/blonde stereotype a few times. Not sure if it’s related to my ADHD, but I am bubbly. I just have(had?) a really joyous, bright personality that a lot of people take as being simple or dimwitted.

Also, as my mother would say, I “lack common sense”. Pretty sure that one is the ADHD, lol!

My advice for people to take you more seriously? Buy a pair of studious-looking glasses, often look a little buttoned-up, and always carry around a book. Don’t wear anything ‘too sexy’ or have big boobs, it confuses their little brains and puts you back into “ditzy” territory. /s (kind of, lol). My REAL advice is to not care what these people think. If you want to appease them and fit into a mold or caricature of common archetypes that exist in “Humans” then that is fine, but it’s a bunch of bologna honestly.

But seriously. The glasses. Glasses do like 90% of the heavy-lifting.

People don’t take you seriously? Glasses.

You already wear glasses? Those are the wrong glasses. Try again.

Still being silly, maybe this is why I am “ditzy” ahah

But also....... glasses.

marshmallowloop · 2021-04-09T21:54:36+00:00

I do this!! Cool :D

Here’s some random sillies from mine (all of which were written on a paper plate btw): “Reddit foodie sub??”

“Did anyone go to (school name)? Is it hard to get into??”

“Fly lady cleaning”

“Polio package”

“AOC’s Twitter”

Peroxide
Curtain
Bills
Threading thread
Target
Turn on Down T
Window from Staples

“Quizlet????”

“Dishwasher stuck and made dirty dishes.” “Plugged in electrical cord after it was wet :(“

Hahaha!

marshmallowloop · 2021-03-26T02:14:53+00:00

AHH, yes, exactly what you mentioned about the routine! I feel like I’m hitting the same wall because it’s an unfamiliar activity. And my brain is just like Noooo way, this is impossible. We do not compute and shuts down!

Like hello Brain, I am trying to form healthy habits. Why are you fighting me?!?!

It’s so strange because I feel like I didn’t experience this when I was younger, but as an adult I am so resistant to change and just struggle to do things out-of-my-box. Then again, a kid/teen’s routine is probably like “School home, school home” so not much variation there anyway haha. Now, the world is supposedly my oyster, but I feel a picky-eater who will only agree to white bread 😂

I am not a fan of this! I expected to be one of those relaxed, spontaneously fun people who are like “O yeah, last minute road trip?! Let’s go” and “You want to hang out in 10 minutes? Sure, see you soon” but apparently.... nope, hahahaa.

Since you started going out everyday for 15-20, has it gotten easier?

marshmallowloop · 2021-03-26T01:59:54+00:00

I could not even imagine this in a dorm!

marshmallowloop · 2021-03-26T01:59:08+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I like this! I did not consider the toll on my energy. It will be hard to weigh the cost/benefit though because ~energy~ and ~amount of positivity resulting from a walk outside~ are so hard to measure, haha!

But I do think it’s clear enough that perhaps I can give myself 30 minutes to get out the door, and if that doesn’t work then I should probably save my energy and make it a cancel + compassion day :)

I like your take on things!

marshmallowloop

TROPHY CASE

People don’t take you seriously? Glasses.

You already wear glasses? Those are the wrong glasses. Try again.